A Part Of You
by MangaMamma
Summary: Wufei may finally have an injury he can't heal. 1x5 Rated for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

_**A/N: I know what you're thinking: why is she posting a new story when she hasn't finished the ones she started?! Well, because I actually have four, yes FOUR other Gundam stories waiting in the wings (haha) and so I feel compelled to get them out there and snag some reviews so I can verify whether or not I'm wasting my time trying to finish the story or if I should continue it. **_

_**A writer gets paranoid sometimes, ya know?**_

_**So please take a look at this and let me know what you think. Good, bad, undecided, I want to hear it all. And to help you decide, I'm posting the first three chapters all at once.**_

**A Part Of Me**

**Chapter 1**

Keen black eyes observed the men sitting around him as he sipped from his glass. They'd been through so much, seen so much death and destruction. _Too much for ones so young. But it's over now. We can live our lives according to our own design, not those of the warmongers_.

An outburst of laughter caught his attention and he tuned back into the conversation going on around him. Duo was very amused as he looked to Quatre who was blushing but smiling as well. Trowa, ever the reserved one, had the smallest of curves to his lips indicating his own amusement. And the man to his right was as solemn as ever. _He's been like this since we got here. It's one thing for him to be serious during a battle, but it's over. He should at least look relaxed_. Wufei cleared his throat and put his glass down, looking around once more at his companions before speaking.

"So do any of you have ideas for what you'd like to do now?"

Quatre was the first to speak up.

"I'm going to return home and run the company that my father built. My sisters are very anxious for my return. They say they've been so busy running the company that they haven't been able to find husbands."

"I'm returning to the circus and my sister, Catherine."

Trowa took a sip of his beer, indicating he would not expound further and Wufei inclined his head in response and turned his attention to Duo who looked thoughtful.

"Duo? Any ideas?"

"Well…..I'm a little conflicted. Hilde and I have been talking about combining forces and opening our own business, but…."

Duo dropped his head and his voice as he absentmindedly turned his beer in a circle, creating a wet ring on the table.

"I'd like to open, or least help out at an orphanage."

"There's nothing that says you can't do both."

Duo looked up at Wufei and smiled.

"Yeah, thanks. You're right. Now what about you, 'Fei?"

Wufei shrugged and took another sip of his wine.

"I still feel the need to ensure there is justice in this world or ours. I heard Lady Une has formed an organization. An independent group to help police the people that would destroy our peaceful world."

"So you're gonna be a cop, is the skinny of it."

"No, Duo, I'm not going to be a cop. I am going to be an agent responsible for the safety of earth and the colonies. I'm not going to track down muggers."

Wufei let out a derisive snort and turned to Heero. This man was his main interest right now. It wasn't that he didn't care where and what his friends were doing, but Heero Yuy had always fascinated Wufei and he found he always wanted to know what the man was thinking. And a few times Heero had actually fed that desire and the pair had a personal conversation about themselves and what they were going through. He knew about the little girl and the teddy bear and Heero knew about his wife, Meiran.

Wufei's eyes narrowed as Heero's focus remained on the bottle of beer in his hands. _I'm sure he knows everyone is waiting for his response_.

"And what about you, Heero?"

The question was gentle and inquisitive, just like the person who asked it and Wufei was thankful that Quatre had spoken up so he wouldn't have to.

Heero looked up and met each one of his companions' gazes, lingering on Wufei for a moment or two before shrugging.

"Don't know."

"C'mon, you must have some idea. Isn't there something you always wanted to do or a place you always wanted to see?"

"Not really."

"Well, you're a very talented and skilled man, Heero. I'm sure you won't have any trouble finding something you enjoy."

Wufei saw the flinch at Quatre's words and now his concern grew deeper. _So that's what's been troubling him this whole time. He has no idea what to do now. I suppose that must be very unsettling. His life has been mapped out for him ever since he can remember. He now has the opportunity for complete control over his life_.

Heero offered a quiet scoff as he shot Quatre a halfhearted, lopsided smirk. Quatre appeared pleased with the minimal response, whereas Trowa seemed to catch on to Heero's mood and thoughts, his brows furrowing as if in deep thought.

_I'll speak with him later tonight after the others leave. Perhaps joining The Preventors and continuing his life as a soldier will give him purpose and a direction._

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After the dinner party had broken up, Wufei had tried to keep track of Heero, but the experienced guerilla soldier managed to disappear right before Wufei's eyes. So Wufei had retreated to his hotel room, making plans to speak with Heero in the morning. _I know I shouldn't be so worried about him, but I can't help it_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The soft, insistent knocking woke Wufei from his recently acquired sleepy state and he sat up on the sofa in his hotel sitting room, rubbing his face. _Ugh, I think I drank too much at dinner. I didn't even realize I was falling asleep_.

Wufei looked up at the door and frowned, the knocking still continuing its steady rhythm. _Who is possibly knocking on my door at this hour_? Wufei slowly stood up and approached the door, trying to clear his mind of the sleepy, alcohol enhanced haze as he opened the door.

"Heero?"

"I know what I want."

Wufei just stepped back and gestured for Heero to enter his hotel room. Heero entered and immediately went to sit down on a nearby chair. Wufei closed the door and walked over to him, leaning against the wall worried about his friend's condition. It had been over three hours since dinner broke up according to the clock and Wufei could still feel the influence of all the alcohol he drank at dinner. _But Heero really didn't drink and yet……_.

"Heero….have you been drinking?"

"I'm sorry for stopping by so late."

Wufei frowned at not having his question answered. _He must be drunk_.

"It's…..ok."

"I want to be normal. I want to live in an apartment and have a normal job and be just another face on the street. I don't want to be…" Heero held out his hands in front of him and stared at them almost angrily and his voice sounded harsh and cracked a little. "I don't want to be the 'perfect' soldier….somebody's pawn. I don't want to be….._this_."

Wufei closed the small distance between them and fell to his knees before Heero while clasping the outstretched hands within his own. _I've never seen him unhinged like this. I knew he was troubled about his future but I had no idea it was this deeply rooted._

"I think that sounds like a good plan, Heero."

Heero slowly lifted his head to look at the source of the strong voice to see deep onyx eyes gazing right into him. _ I wonder…..what does he see_? _Does he see the killer within? Do I even have a soul anymore_?

"But don't dismiss who you are now. I happen to like and respect that person."

Heero sat mesmerized by the intense black eyes and the confident voice. _Other than Relena and Duo, I don't think anyone has ever said that to me. And although it made me feel good to hear them say it, when he says it….it feels like the most important thing in the world to me_.

Heero slowly pulled his hands free of Wufei's and reached out with skittish, shaky fingertips, pulling back once before finally caressing Wufei's cheek. At the hesitant touch, Wufei's cheeks burned and his heart started pounding. They remained like that for a few uncertain moments before Wufei managed to voice his confusion with a whispered question.

"Heero….what are yo--"

But Wufei's quiet question was cut off by hesitant, warm lips pressed lightly against his own. He was too shocked to do anything other than kneel there and stare. Heero rested his forehead against Wufei's and brought his hands up, running them through Wufei's hair until he reached the nape of his neck, then he just grabbed fistfuls of hair.

"Heero…."

"I…like you too, Wufei."

Heero kissed Wufei again, this time insistently and Wufei couldn't help but respond. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, his hands which had been resting on Heero's knees slid up to his thighs. And Heero's hands, which were tangled in Wufei's hair, unwound themselves and traveled down to find a new resting place at the small of Wufei's back.

As Heero kissed down Wufei's neck, he pushed out of the chair and guided Wufei back and onto the floor, all the while whispering against the warm skin.

"We could….be normal…..together….Wufei."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei woke up the next morning to a slight headache and an empty bed. After searching his hotel room, Heero's hotel room, and calling all their friends' and Heero's cell phone, he slumped back into the chair Heero had sat in only hours ago and stared up at the ceiling.

_Why did you do it, Heero? I thought you…..you said you wanted us to be together. We laid there together and made plans. Was that the alcohol talking? You didn't seem that drunk. I believed you. We….the way you called out my name…even if you'd changed your mind, how could you just leave me like this? You might as well have left me money on the nightstand._

Wufei bent over and hugged himself tightly trying to quell the pain rising from the pit of his stomach.

_To be continued……_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part Of Me**

**Chapter 2**

"Commander Chang! Commander Chang!"

Wufei could hear the voice calling out to him, but it sounded far away and everything had already gone black. The last thing he saw was one of his subordinates going wide-eyed and gesturing wildly as several shots of searing white hot hit him in the back.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heavy eyelids fought to open fully and Wufei felt his mind coming back online, but the haze was stubborn. _I feel…..weak, heavy, yet…..hollow_. Finally, Wufei managed to open his eyes enough to see a be-speckled man in a white coat with a warm smile. He couldn't recall ever seeing the man before. _The last thing I remember is……Rico….he was trying to tell me something. He looked terrified_.

"Mr. Chang? Are you cognizant?"

Wufei nodded his head and felt like everything was moving in slow motion. _Am I drugged_?

"Good. My name is Doctor Zigler. I'm glad to see you're finally awake. Hope you enjoyed your four-day nap. How do you feel?"

"How do I look?"

The doctor hugged the medical chart to his chest and tilted his head a little. Ever since overhearing the young man's friends speaking about him in the waiting room, he'd been curious about his new patient. He would readily admit that the young man was attractive, but it wasn't just his looks that drew the doctor. He felt this need to know everything about him. How did he get those scars? How did he lose his kidney? What does his voice sound like? And now at least one of his questions was answered. Although it was still groggy, the doctor could hear the potential of a strong voice.

Wufei wasn't so drugged up that he couldn't see the doctor studying him. _He looks too pleased so it can't be that bad. But then….why hasn't he answered me? Is this idiot deaf? Or maybe he's trying to find a polite way to put it_?

Then Wufei saw the doctor's smile broaden and the eyes framed by the wire glasses began to sparkle. _That look….._

"I asked you first."

Wufei's eyes narrowed at the childish and less-than-informative answer. The amused chuckle that sounded caused Wufei to see red and he tried clutching at the bed covers but his body was still uncooperative.

"Where's Sally?"

"Who is Sally?" _Girlfriend? Or hopefully a sister_?

"Dr. Po. Where is she?"

"I'm afraid I don't know Dr. Po. Your unit brought you in here four days ago with multiple gunshots to your back. I performed the emergency surgery."

"Where is 'here'?"

"Saint Joseph's Hospital in Silver City."

Wufei was quiet a few moments and closed his eyes. _So they managed to get me home. But why am I not in the Preventors Medical Center_?

"Who has been contacted on my behalf?"

Wufei heard shuffling and opened his eyes to see the doctor sitting down in a chair next to his bed and perusing his file.

"Let's see…..Your commanding officer, last name of Une looks like….said she would contact anyone who needed to be and that would probably explain the three anxious gentlemen waiting outside this room to see you."

The doctor looked up from Wufei's file and smiled, but it was met with an almost angry glare. _Wow, even in this condition he can muster a really convincing glare. So he's good-looking **and** feisty_.

"So let them in."

"First, Mr. Chang, I need to speak with you about your condition."

"My condition? I'm injured. I'll heal and leave."

The doctor's smile fell and the lively eyes closed up. Finally, Wufei saw the doctor he expected instead of some man who acted too familiar.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple. I was able to repair most of the internal damage caused by the multiple gunshot wounds and you must have an angel on your shoulder to not have suffered spinal damage, but…."

"Just tell me."

"Your kidney was severely damaged. Normally this wouldn't be such a problem, except that it's your only kidney, Mr. Chang. According to the medical records sent from your employers, your other kidney was removed over five years ago."

"Hazard of the job."

"Yes, well the hazard of the human body is that it can't survive without a fully functioning kidney."

The doctor watched as all the fire drained from the black eyes and the reality of the situation sunk in.

"The good news is that since your kidney is somewhat functional, you stand a better chance at finding a donor due to having more time to find one. But the seriousness of the situation still stands. You need a new kidney, Mr. Chang."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei watched as Duo, Trowa and Quatre filed into his room. He could see that the doctor had already spoken to them about his condition and that they were trying to put up a strong front. He met each of their gazes without fear.

"S-so, Wufei, how do you feel?"

"I've been better."

Wufei bit his tongue and held back the truly nasty comment that he wanted to spit out at the blonde. But he knew none of this was Quatre's fault. Wufei looked to Duo, the edge returning to his voice. He'd never had to hold back with the gregarious brunette. Duo understood not to take Wufei's coldness personally, unlike a certain sensitive someone.

"Where the hell is Sally?"

Duo smirked at Wufei's no nonsense personality shining through despite his injuries.

"She's up on L5 dealing with a potential viral outbreak. But this Zigler guy is supposed to be the best, so Une said to keep you here."

"Hmph."

"Is there anything we can get for you, Wufei?"

Wufei turned to the quiet voice and sighed. _How did I become tired so quickly? Is it the meds, or is this how it's going to be until I can get the transplant_?

"Yeah, I could use a kidney."

Wufei appreciated the wry smile from Trowa and returned it in kind. He'd always wondered about the relationship between Quatre and Trowa. How they managed to find each other, during wartime, and become so close while having to face such hardships. But they didn't appear to have taken things further beyond friendship and Wufei was curious as to why. _They always seem so happy and comfortable with each other and you can see it in their eyes when they look at each other_. Wufei found a bitter bile rising in his throat and he started looking around the room.

"What do you need?"

Duo panicked at the pained look on Wufei's face and he was immediately at his side.

"Water."

"I'll get some."

Quatre left to retrieve the water while Trowa found his comfortable wall to lean against and Duo sprawled himself in a plastic chair.

"So….please….tell me how you all have been."

"Well, let's see. The shop's doing real well. There's money to be made in broken cars. And Hilde hasn't threatened my life in at least two weeks."

Wufei smiled, having witnessed firsthand Hilde's temper and the absurd threats she would hurtle at Duo, even as he smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Oh! And the best part! Quatre has become the generous benefactor of my church's orphanage."

"That's wonderful. I know how much those children mean to you."

Duo's cheeks became rosy and his gaze shied away from his friend. As dedicated and proud as Duo was to the orphanage, he always became uncomfortable whenever one of his friends praised him for it. _Perhaps it's because we know his history_.

Wufei looked over to Trowa who merely smiled.

"Still playing under the big top?"

"Hm. Yes, but not for much longer. Catherine has met someone and she's been pestering me to do the same."

"Do you have anyone in mind?"

Trowa scoffed, his smile broadening.

"I see. It's about time."

"Someone has to look out for him, otherwise he'll just work himself into the ground running his father's company."

All three men frowned, knowing exactly how much Quatre worked. Last year he collapsed from exhaustion. _And from the looks of him now, he's not far from doing the same this year_.

"Here we go!"

Quatre entered the room, his sunny presence instantly warming the room and making all three men smile. Wufei was grateful for the water and the foursome spoke a little longer, but much to Wufei's frustration, his body became tired quickly and he practically fell asleep while speaking to Duo.

Duo guided him down and brushed some hair away from his eyes and kissed him on the forehead.

"Get some rest, ok? We'll be back tomorrow."

Wufei closed his eyes, the warmth he felt from having his friends around him lulling him to sleep.

_To be continued….._


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part Of Me**

**Chapter 3**

Wufei didn't know how, but somehow he could feel a presence near him and so he fought out of the heavy blackness of sleep to find a sheepish grin and deep green eyes aimed at him.

"Wha-?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"N-no. It's…ok." Wufei rubbed his eyes and focused on the doctor standing at his bedside. "What time is it?"

"About 11pm."

Wufei was surprised to find the doctor still at the hospital. _I know for a fact he was in here by 9am this morning. He must be exhausted. And an exhausted doctor is not a good doctor_.

"You should be home by now."

The doctor chuckled and nodded as he sat down in a nearby chair with a tired sigh.

"I'm told that a lot. Ironically, by the same people who keep me here."

Wufei reached out and pressed the button to bring himself into an upright position. The doctor was surprised to see how clear and focused Wufei's eyes were when only a moment ago he'd been fast asleep.

"So why are you here?"

"I just wanted to check on you before I left for the night."

The doctor saw the raised eyebrows and held up Wufei's chart as if presenting evidence to a jury.

"Oh, by the way. All your friends volunteered to be tested as possible donors."

"Is that…possible?"

"Sure. Oftentimes donors are found among family members or--."

"They are not my family. My family is long dead."

"I'm sorry."

The doctor studied the young man who, despite his serious medical condition, seemed full of fire and spirit. _He's a strong man. Very proud. Passionate_. The doctor smiled softly and stood up with a sigh.

"Well, I think I'll be making my way home now. But I've brought some stuff for you."

Wufei's head whipped around to see the doctor carrying a stack of books toward him.

"Here we go."

The four books were placed on Wufei's bedside table and his incredulous stare and silent question was answered with slightly rosy cheeks and that sheepish smile he'd woken up to only moments ago.

"I kind of overhead your friends speaking in the hallway about bringing you some stuff tomorrow. Apparently you like to read all manner of books, Mr. Chang, so here you go. A few modest tomes I thought you might enjoy from my own personal collection."

"You didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to."

Wufei felt a light, nervous feeling in his stomach and he brought his hand up as if to quell the sensation. The doctor frowned at the action.

"Are you alright?"

"Hmmm?"

"Your hand…..are you feeling alright?"

Wufei looked down to see his hand resting on his stomach and he let it fall away as his cheeks became warm.

"Yes, I'm fine. No need to sound so worried. I'm not as fragile as you think."

The doctor chuckled and made his way to the door.

"Rest up and I'll see you in the morning."

Just as the door clicked shut behind him, it flew open again and the doctor reentered Wufei's room, giving Wufei a start.

"Sorry about that. I forgot to give you these."

The doctor held out a pair of reading glasses which Wufei looked at as if poison.

"What's wrong?"

"How did you know?"

The doctor walked up to Wufei and placed the glasses on top of the stack of books and winked at Wufei.

"I _am_ a doctor. Goodnight, Mr. Chang."

Wufei stared silently after the retreating doctor and continued to stare at the empty space and the closed door for a few moments after he was alone. _Who is this man? Doctors aren't supposed to act this way, are they_?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The silence hung in the room, oppressive and suffocating. Wufei had to take a deep breath before finally speaking.

"I thank you all for trying, but we should have known that it wouldn't be that easy. Considering our history, when has it ever been that easy?"

He looked up at his friends who were all standing at the foot of his bed, giving him knowing smiles. Then he looked to the doctor who had been standing off to the side, allowing Wufei and his friends some time after giving them the bad news.

"So what's the next step, doctor?"

"You're already on the National Registry so all we can do now is wait."

"How long will that take?"

The doctor shrugged and hugged the folders to his chest.

"Unfortunately, you never know. Someone may show up in a few hours, days, years."

"But I don't have years, doctor."

Strong onyx eyes held the serious emeralds aimed at him and finally the doctor just nodded.

"I'll be back. Excuse me."

Trowa left Wufei's room and made his way out of the hospital to make a phone call. Pulling his cell phone from his back pocket, Trowa dialed the number, knowing it by heart, and waited for the person to answer.

_**Hello?**_

"Hello, Heero, how are you?"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"They look good on you if I do say so myself."

Wufei scoffed and returned to his reading, ignoring the doctor as best he could. After Duo and the others left earlier in the day Wufei had found himself in a very dark mood. Although he presented a confident front to everyone, deep down, he was worried. Scared even. _I don't want to die. Not now, not like this_.

He had been grateful for the solitude and quiet and only recently had picked up a book to occupy his mind with something other than thoughts of death. But when the doctor had entered his room to check up on him, his foul mood had returned as he was blaringly reminded of his condition_. Just when I'd stopped thinking about it_.

"What? I think I did a great job picking out glasses for you."

"Yes. Congratulations on picking out the only pair in the drugstore that wasn't described as 'fashion wear'."

Wufei looked up when the doctor sat down beside him and placed a hand over his book, forcing Wufei to stop reading.

"I beg your pardon, but I went down to the optometrist's and picked out a pair of glasses for you when I gave him your prescription. Do I look like the type of person who would just pick up generic reading glasses from the drug store? I'm wounded, Mr. Chang."

"You….why would you…..?"

The doctor chuckled and resisted the urge to reach out and take Wufei's hand within his own. It was something about the young man that he couldn't resist. He would freely admit that he found Wufei attractive, but there was more to his attraction than the mere physical. _But still…..I have to be very careful. He's my patient. And worse, he's a patient waiting for a transplant_.

"Thank you, doctor. I apologize for being rude."

"So….you like them?"

Wufei chuckled at the hopeful voice and dropped his gaze to look at the strong hand lying on his book.

"Yes. I like them. Very much."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Not again?! Jeez, either I really suck at cards, or you're some kind of shark, Wufei."

The doctor threw his cards down in a huff and slumped back in the metal chair by Wufei's bedside. Wufei just smirked at the petulant look on the man's face. This had become their routine the past four nights: after the doctor was done his rounds he would stop by and check up on Wufei and then join him for a few hands of gin before going home. Wufei wasn't sure if he liked the idea of the doctor hanging around with him, but by the end of the first night, he found himself already looking forward to their next promised meeting the following night.

"Just because you're losing doesn't mean I'll let you address me in such a familiar manner, _Doctor_."

The doctor smiled and shrugged as he sat up and started shuffling the cars for another round.

"I apologize, _Mr. Chang_, but I figured I've seen enough of you, inside and out, to warrant the usage."

The doctor bowed his head in apology and Wufei just scoffed, even as his cheeks became warm. It wasn't something he'd considered before. The doctor seeing his insides was no big deal. _But…how much of me has he seen on the outside_?

The doctor chuckled at Wufei's reaction and started dealing the cards.

"And unless you're completely against it for some reason, I'd like it if you called me Jason."

Wufei looked over at the man sitting next to his bed whose head was bowed as he studied his cards. The sandy brown bangs hung low over his glasses, obscuring his eyes, but not his cheeks which seemed a little rosy to Wufei. _He sounds like he's teasing but….he's not. He's genuine in his request_.

"I don't care what you want me to call you. You're still going to lose…..Jason."

Wufei picked up his hand and started arranging his cards. Jason looked up and smiled, feeling like he'd just won some great victory.

_To be continued…maybe. It depends on what people say._

_**A/N - Ok, so there you have it. Three chapters to start you off. Now all you have to do is please oh please oh please tell me what you think!**_


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

_**I'm so happy you guys like Jason. I was a little worried about having an OC but I saw this picture that was supposed to be an older Tezuka from Prince of Tennis and he just looked so cute with his glasses, nibbling his thumb in thought. And as I started writing this story, that image came to mind when I thought of Jason. **_

_**I'm so happy everything is enjoying the story. Thank you for all your encouraging words and support. I hope I continue to be worthy**_.

**A Part Of Me**

**Chapter 4**

"Good morning, Wufei."

Wufei looked up from his book to see a gentle smile and warm green eyes approaching him. He let the book fall to his lap and smiled in return.

"Good morning. Do you have the money you owe me?"

Jason chuckled and sat down on the bed, glad to see Wufei didn't mind in the slightest.

"How about double or nothing?"

Ebony eyebrows raised in question and Jason's smile broadened.

"If I find you a transplant candidate today, you'll have dinner with me after you recover."

This hadn't been what Wufei expected at all and he was sure his face showed his surprise.

"What?"

Wufei could feel the heat on his cheeks which only got worse when the doctor leaned in, one hand now planted on the other side of his body, his face now closer to Wufei's than would be considered professional.

"What do you say, Wufei? Have we got a bet?"

Wufei's eyes narrowed and he looked away, frowning.

"I say your bet is shady and you seem way too confident which means you already have a candidate. And I question your ethics as a physician for making a pass at your patient."

The doctor chuckled and sat back up straight.

"Ok, you got me. A candidate came in this morning and I'm just waiting for the blood tests to confirm. But as for making a pass at you…."

Jason scooted forward and leaned in until he could feel Wufei's exhaled breath on his face.

"I wouldn't categorize asking you out to dinner as making a pass. Now if I had done this….."

Jason reached out and caressed Wufei's burning cheek, delighting in the heat he felt. Wufei watched in stunned silence and couldn't help but notice golden flecks in the sparkling green eyes.

"I find you very attractive, Wufei, and I would very much like to have dinner with you."

Wufei pulled back a little and gazed at the handsome face before him. There were certainly worse things in life than having dinner with a charming and attractive doctor and Wufei had to be honest with himself: he was attracted to the man. _It's been such a long time since I've felt the desire to actually date someone_. _Get to know them, let them get to know me_.

"O…k. I'll have dinner with you."

The warm smile broadened and the doctor stood up, hands on his hips.

"Good. Then it's a date."

The door opened and a nurse stepped in.

"Um, excuse me, doctor. I have the test results."

"Perfect timing. So let's see here."

Jason took the offered folder and he scanned the papers it contained, his brows furrowing slightly. When he was finished, he handed the folder back to the nurse, thanked her, and then closed the door behind her. Wufei hadn't taken his eyes off Jason the entire time, but the man showed no sign, good or bad, what the folder contained. He came back to Wufei's bedside and sat down with a sigh.

"So. Do you like Italian food?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know this fantastic little Italian restaurant. Great food and the perfect atmosphere for a date."

Wufei just sat there, staring at the doctor, and slowly, his lips curved up into a small smile to match the growing smile on the doctor's face.

"Sounds good to me."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei heard the quiet knock and looked up, wondering who would be bothering to knock before entering his room. But when he saw the person who walked through the door he felt his heart stop and a painful throbbing started up in its place. He opened his mouth to say something but his throat had closed up and he could only stare in shock.

The young man closed the door behind him and just stood at the foot of Wufei's bed for a few moments, his hands shoved in his pockets. Seeing Wufei was having a hard time dealing with his presence, Wufei's visitor spoke up first after clearing his throat.

"H-hey, Wufei."

The uncertainty of the normally confident, deep voice encouraged Wufei to pull himself back together enough to speak, although his voice still sounded a bit strained.

"Hee…ro? What are you….?"

Heero just stood there for a moment and didn't say anything, and then he pulled his hands from his pockets and moved to lean against the wall, his head bowed and arms now crossed over his chest.

"Trowa called me. Told me what happened."

"But. Why. Are. You. Here."

Heero looked up at the sound of the acidic voice and silently questioned Wufei with a face that showed how much Wufei's cold words hurt him.

"I came to help you."

"Help? How could you---"

Suddenly Wufei's eyes went wide and he clutched at his bed covers.

"You? But----"

"I volunteered to be tested."

"Forget it."

Heero pushed off the wall and took a step towards Wufei.

"Don't be a fool."

"I said 'no'!"

"I'm not going to let you die!"

Wufei sat there glaring at Heero, the pain he thought he'd put behind him coming back full force. _Does Fate hate me that much_?

"Wufei….you can't let my stupidity two years ago stop you from living."

"Get out!"

"Wufei, stop being---"

Before Heero could get his protest out any further, Wufei grabbed a book and hurled it at Heero, the brunette barely dodging the projectile in time.

"Wufei!"

"Out!"

Wufei grabbed another book, and another, driving Heero back towards the door.

"Stop this!"

Wufei just growled and let another book go, this time connecting with Heero's arms that he brought up to protect his face. But as Wufei reached for another book, he grimaced and leaned forward slightly.

"Wufei? What's wrong? Do you need help?"

Wufei ignored the concerned voice and reached for another book, holding it aloft, his face twisted in pain, his voice a harsh whisper as he spoke through the intense pain that wanted to take his very breath away.

"Get….out….Yuy! Get….ou….!"

Realizing he was only causing Wufei more pain, Heero quickly turned on his heel and left the room, heading for the nurses' station for help.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"So I understand the donor is a friend of yours."

Jason kept his voice as neutral as possible. He had been informed by the nurse on duty last night in the form of a late night phone call that Wufei had gotten himself worked up to the point of causing himself pain. After getting some details on his vitals he didn't think he would need to come in, but the nurse did tell him that Wufei's friend, the donor, was the one who came to get her. This concerned the doctor because the only conclusion he could draw was that the friend was somehow the source of Wufei's agitation. _Being emotional about a friend donating his organ is one thing. But to cause himself pain…..that's stress, anger_. _She also mentioned that several books were on the floor as she entered the room. Did he throw the books at his friend_? _What kind of relationship do these two have_?

"Not really. We….worked together a few years back. That's all."

"Really? To hear your friends talk you are all close friends."

Wufei looked away and growled. Jason didn't miss the tension in Wufei's posture and the glint that came to his eyes at the mention of the donor, Heero Yuy. _It seems they have a past together. Something much more than friends, but it must have ended badly_. _But they still must have a connection because he came forth as a donor. Perhaps he's trying to make up for past mistakes_?

"My friends talk too much."

"Wufei, I need you to be straight with me. Obviously this Yuy guy causes you great stress. If you can't get your stress levels under control, the odds of a successful transplant and recovery drop. So tell me…..are you really going to let whatever happened in the past prevent you from discovering your future?"

Ever since meeting Jason, there had been few times when Wufei saw a serious look on the charming face. He didn't like it. The sparkle in his green eyes went away and the warm smile turned into a line of pursed lips. He didn't want to be the cause of that look. He wanted to see him smile. He wanted to go to that Italian restaurant. He wanted to live.

"No, but…." He didn't want Jason knowing his business but he had to say something. "If possible….I'd like to limit my exposure to him. None, if possible."

Jason smiled and felt his body relax. _He actually had me worried there. He seems to be the stubborn prideful type and with them you never know how far they're willing to go_.

"I think I can arrange that. Now get some rest. You're going to need all your strength for the surgery."

Wufei offered a sheepish grin and just nodded, watching Jason leave, feeling his attraction to the man growing. _He didn't push the issue and try to find out more about my past with Heero. I know he's curious. I could see it in his reaction to the situation_. Wufei sunk back down into his bed and closed his eyes, thinking ahead to a candlelight dinner at an Italian restaurant.

_To be continued…._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

_Why didn't anyone tell me I've been putting the wrong story title on my chapters?! I feel so stupid. But you know what? I'm going to keep doing it. Might as well be consistent, right? Right!_

**Note: I reposted this chapter because I wrote a few scenes of Heero in the hospital after the surgery. The guy gave up a kidney, he deserves a little mention.**

**A Part Of Me**

**Chapter 5**

Wufei heard voices all around him, echoing in his mind as if from a long lost dream. He eventually identified Duo and Quatre but before he could awaken they went away. He wasn't sure how long he struggled to open his eyes, but when he did he wasn't surprised and admittedly was pleased to see sparkling green eyes looking back at him.

"Hey."

Jason's smile broadened at the sleepy, raspy voice.

"Hey yourself."

"Am I….going to live?"

Jason reached out and lightly brushed some hair from Wufei's forehead.

"As long as you follow doctor's orders, you should be back to your old self in no time."

Wufei just offered a weak smile and lifted his hand, trying to reach out for the doctor who was leaning against his bed. Jason saw what Wufei was attempting and met him halfway, entwining their fingers.

"Thank you….Jason."

"You're quite welcome. Although surely you must realize I had purely selfish reasons."

Wufei felt the gentle squeeze of his fingers and his smile grew. _Who would have thought that something good could have come out of getting shot in the back? I'm damn lucky to have a kidney right now and_---

Jason saw Wufei's smile fall and felt his grip go lax.

"Wufei?"

_Heero. I'm alive right now because of him_.

"I…want to see….him."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason forbid Wufei from getting out of bed for two days. But on the third day he arrived with a wheelchair and after letting Wufei voice his outrage at the indignity of being carried and placed into a wheelchair, Jason did just that with the aid of a nurse and began wheeling him to Heero's room, explaining the situation.

"The surgery is much harder on the donor, but he still should have woken up by now. He developed a fever but we got rid of it and everything seems fine."

Jason wheeled Wufei right up to Heero's bed and backed away, occupying himself by checking his patient's vitals and latest updates on his chart. If Wufei asked him to leave, he would. But if not, he was going to stay right there and eavesdrop. He wasn't proud of it, but he had a gut feeling that leaving the pair alone was a bad idea.

Wufei sat there and stared at the man who had hurt him so badly. After feeling depressed and lonely and rejected for so many months, his sadness turned into anger, hardening his heart. He picked up what was left of himself and joined the Preventors, finding a niche with Sally as his partner.

_You almost destroyed me, and now here you are, offering yourself as a means of saving me. I didn't ask for your kidney. I don't want the damn thing! But you knew that I would accept it anyway, knowing that my drive to live is greater than my pride or my contempt for you. You bastard. Who do you think you're fooling, Heero! Do you think this is going to make up for what you did_?!

"Gods damn it, Yuy, wake up! You're not getting off that easily so wake the hell up!"

Wufei winced and curled into himself a little with a hiss, his arms going around his midsection.

"Wufei, calm down." Jason was at his side in two strides, squatting down and giving him a cursory examination. "You're still weak from the surgery."

"I'm…fine. What you don't understand about Yuy…..is that he only understands…orders. So if you want him to wake up, just order him to do so."

Jason wasn't sure he should say anything and continued to examine Wufei, glad he listened to his instincts and stayed. _Who knows what he might have done if I wasn't here_.

"Only….yours….Wu….fei…."

Both Wufei and the doctor looked to see Heero slowly turning his head towards them. Jason stood up and went to check on Heero while Wufei sat in the wheelchair, his eyes never leaving Heero's.

"Welcome back, Mr. Yuy."

Heero ignored the doctor and kept his gaze on Wufei.

"You….ok?"

Wufei looked away, his cheeks coloring even as his scowl deepened.

"I'm fine."

The exchange was not lost on the doctor but he didn't say anything. He kept his attention on Heero and his examination.

"Ja-,um, doctor…..I'd like to go back to my room now."

"Oh, of course."

Jason shot Wufei a smile as he reached out and hit the nurse's button and within moments someone appeared to wheel Wufei back to his room.

"I'll check in on you later this afternoon."

Heero saw Wufei's face soften at the doctor's voice and he immediately hated the guy.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Don't you think you're being just a little stubborn, 'Fei? I mean the guy did give you one of his kidneys."

"I didn't ask for his damn kidney, now drop it, Maxwell."

"Sheesh, fine."

Duo held his hands up in defense and got off the bed to go look out the window. Ever since waking up from surgery, with the exception of going to yell at him to wake up, Wufei hadn't acknowledged Heero. _He didn't even say thank you_. _And stupid Heero is letting him act this way. He should know that's not how you get through to 'Fei_.

Wufei turned his glare on Trowa who he still had yet to say anything to or even acknowledge with a look. He knew he was being childish, and he should be grateful for Trowa making the call, but the dull ache in his chest kept him from saying anything other than,

"You didn't need to do that."

Trowa's lips curved languidly and he met the hard onyx aimed at him without fear.

"I wouldn't have been a very good friend if I hadn't."

Wufei and Trowa remained staring at each other for a few silent moments until Wufei just scoffed and looked down at his lap, a smirk on his face. _A good friend to whom, Trowa_?

"So when will you be released?"

Wufei looked up to Quatre, who, as usual, was the only bright spot among them. _We're all so cynical and hardened. How did he escape that? What did Trowa call it? His _

'_Space Heart'? What the hell is that anyway_?

"With good behavior I should be out within four days."

"Are you going back to the Preventors?"

"Of course he is. You think something like this is going to stop him from going out there and risking his life again? Not our 'Fei."

Wufei aimed his deadliest glare at the sarcastic sounding Duo who was now leaning against the window sill, his form silhouetted by the afternoon sun. Quatre whispered a word of warning which was completely ignored and Trowa just stood there, leaning against the wall, watching the exchange play itself out. He had always enjoyed listening to Wufei and Duo argue through the years. _If I didn't know any better I'd think they didn't like each other._

"What would you have me do? Hide in my home for the rest of my life?"

"I'm just saying…."

"Well just shut up. It's my life and I will live it as I see fit."

There was silence in the room for awhile, Wufei looking back down at his hands, only slightly regretting his words to Duo, Quatre shuffling his feet as he nervously glanced from Duo to Wufei, Duo still just leaning on the sill, looking at Wufei as if he wanted to burn holes in his skull, and Trowa calmly leaning against the wall, enjoying the show. _They never disappoint_.

Finally, after several minutes, Trowa had pity on Quatre and stood up, clearing his throat as he put a reassuring arm around Quatre's shoulders.

"We should be going. You need to rest. We'll stop by tomorrow before we fly out, ok?"

Wufei looked up and just nodded, offering a weak smirk as goodbye. He watched the door close behind them and then turned to face Duo. The pair stared at each other for a few tense moments before Duo finally shoved off the window sill and walked over to sit on Wufei's bed. Their eyes never left each other until Duo reached out and enveloped Wufei's shoulders within his arms and leaned in, allowing Wufei to let his head rest on his shoulder with a mournful groan.

"I'm sorry, Maxwell. I just…"

"It's ok. I'm not going to break."

"I don't know how…..to feel. He's….inside me now. What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

Duo chuckled and let his hand rub soothing circles between Wufei's shoulder blades.

"That's easy. Just live your life. What does it matter whose kidney you have? Heero's, mine, some dead criminal? The important thing is that you're alive."

Wufei considered Duo's words and knew he was right and that's why he didn't refuse Heero's kidney. _I wanted to live. By any means necessary. And I wanted…._

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"I have a date."

"Excuse me?"

Duo pushed Wufei back by the shoulders and eyed him with a mixed look of happiness and curiosity, and Wufei could only scoff and turn away.

"It's not that momentous of an occasion. Stop giving me that look."

"First of all, you haven't mentioned dating anyone to me in at least a year. And secondly, ignoring my first point….You've been in the hospital for at least two weeks. How the hell did you get a date?"

Wufei smiled as he looked at the window.

"The doctor."

"Y-your doctor? The surgeon?"

Wufei just nodded and turned to Duo who let his hands fall into his lap and smiled at Wufei, looking very pleased.

"Good for you, man. He seems like a really great guy from the conversations we've had."

"Who's a really great guy? Is there someone I should know about, Wufei?"

Wufei jumped at the sound of Jason's voice and Duo just smiled and waved.

"Hey, Doc. Hope it's ok that I hung out a little longer."

"As long as Wufei is ok, I don't mind." Jason turned to Wufei, now that he was at his bedside, opposite Duo.

"So how _do_ you feel?"

"Fine."

"We were just discussing your upcoming date."

"Oh really?"

Wufei turned his murderous attention to Duo even as his cheeks flamed up.

"Does that mean I'm the really great guy?"

"That has yet to be proven, but there _are_ rumors."

Jason chuckled and sat down in the chair, enjoying not only Duo's company, but Wufei's discomfort as well. _Wow. They're complete opposites and yet they have a very strong bond of friendship_.

"Wufei and I have been playing cards in the evenings. Care to join us?"

"Sure!"

Wufei watched helplessly as Jason and Duo set about shuffling cards, procuring drinks and just talking amongst themselves as if he didn't exist. But by the time the first hand was almost over, Wufei had relaxed and found that he was enjoying having both Jason and Duo with him and so the trio played on for a few hours before Jason declared it was time for Wufei to rest.

With no protests from either Duo or Wufei, Jason and Duo left Wufei to sleep, both promising to see him tomorrow. Wufei watched the matching warm smiles disappear and closed his eyes, immediately slipping into a peaceful sleep. _I have so much to look forward to and I shouldn't let the past weigh me down. Thank you, Duo, you were right. No more looking back. I'm going forward_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"How are you feelin', man?"

Heero just lay there, gazing at Duo with unseeing cerulean eyes. Duo knew Heero was hurt by Wufei's behavior and he couldn't blame the guy. Since showing up to offer his kidney to his former friend, Heero had been scorned, had books thrown at him, and been yelled at by the very person whose life was saved by his kidney.

"How is he doing?"

Duo offered a quiet scoff and soft smile. _Typical, he doesn't give a damn about himself._

"He's fine."

Heero turned his head away and closed his eyes, not really up for any conversation, but appreciating the company. _Although I'm glad Quatre and Trowa are gone_. He cared for his friends and he and Trowa understood each other well, but currently he couldn't handle Quatre's positive attitude and it took all he had not to bite the blonde's head off. But where Quatre went, so did Trowa, so he found himself alone again until Duo showed up a few moments ago.

"The doc says you're improving and should be out by the end of the week."

Heero did not flinch or make a single noise so Duo sighed and stood up, heading for the door.

"Don't….go."

Duo turned around to see Heero gazing at him again, but this time he knew he was being seen.

"I'm sorry I'm not talking but….I'd like you to stay."

Even as he smiled and returned to his perch at Heero's bedside, Duo's heart ached for his friend. _Damn 'Fei and his pride! I should wheel his ass in here and make him at least say thank you_!

"Well, if you don't feel like talking how about some cards?"

Duo pulled a deck of cards from inside his jacket pocket and was pleased to see a hint of sparkle come to the cerulean eyes. _He always did like cards. I wonder if it's because he was born with a poker face_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Mr. Yuy? Don't you want to go inside?"

Heero stared at the door, fists clenched in his lap. _Why did I ask her to bring me here? He obviously wants nothing to do with me_.

For reasons still unknown to even him, Heero had asked his nighttime nurse to procure a wheelchair and take him to see Wufei. He wasn't sure why the sudden urge came upon him and now that he was there in front of the door, mere feet away from his goal, that urge had been overridden by fear and apprehension.

"Mr. Yuy?"

A soft touch on his shoulder brought him back to the here and now and Heero just shook his head a few times.

"It's late. He's probably asleep."

"Would you like me to check for you?"

"Would you let me know how he's doing? If he's awake, don't mention me in any way."

The nurse heard the hesitation in her patient's voice and so she acquiesced, leaving Heero in the hallway while she entered Wufei's room to check on him. Heero hated having to stoop to such levels but he really had no other option. Duo and the others had left, retuning to their own lives, the day shift nurses were too perky and chatty for him, and there was no way he was going to ask the doctor. Despite his surgeon's friendly attempts at communication, Heero gave the man the coldest shoulder known to man. _That man. There was something between them, I know it. Did Wufei know him before ending up here_? _Even_ _so, that wouldn't explain that look he had on his face._

It didn't take the nurse long to return and she started wheeling Heero back to his room.

"He's asleep right now, but I checked his chart and he's doing just fine. It looks like he's leaving in a few days. We'll try again tomorrow night if you like. But we should go earlier."

"No, thank you. I appreciate your time in helping me this evening."

_To be continued…_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

_This chapter has been reposted because I typed a few more scenes and thought, "Eh, what the heck". It's nothing earth shattering by any means. Just a little foreshadowing…_

**A Part Of Me**

**Chapter 6**

Wufei sat at the table, tucked away in the corner by a window full of greenery that overlooked a currently unused patio of tables and large potted plants. _It's just as I imagined it_. He took in the warm, soft lighting and the rich, golden stucco walls that had miniature murals painted on them of scenes from a rustic Italy. _It's perfect. Now if only my date was here_.

Wufei's eyes settled on Jason who was standing at a table on the opposite side of the room, smiling and talking to the couple who had tackily called him over with raised voices and big waves. Green eyes met his and Wufei smiled despite his irritated state. It was then that the couple looked over and smiled and waved to him. Wufei had no inclination to return the gesture so he just sat there, watching as Jason made his return.

"Sorry about that. Their son and I are friends from childhood and they're in town visiting."

"I don't mind."

Jason looked up from his menu, his smile that of a Cheshire cat.

"Liar."

Wufei just smiled and then looked down to his menu_. I can't remember the last time someone dared call me a liar and didn't end up with a bloody nose. Now I know I'm in trouble. But….I think Jason will be the good kind of trouble_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei sat in the passenger seat, chin resting in palm, gazing out the window at the city lights streaming by. Dinner had lasted almost three hours, the pair tucked away in the corner, enjoying a leisurely meal as they talked and drank wine and even indulged in dessert. Wufei wasn't typically one for dessert, but he'd been coaxed into a sweet treat by Jason, and honestly, Wufei found he didn't mind being coerced by the charming doctor.

Jason had been quiet ever since they got in the car and that was fine with Wufei because he was full and content and didn't feel the need to make small talk at the moment. _I can't believe how comfortable I am with Jason_.

"Shoot. Do I turn here or at the next light?"

Wufei blinked himself back to attention and glanced at his surroundings.

"The next light, make a left."

Realizing how close they were to his apartment, Wufei felt a nervous flutter in his stomach. _I don't want to say goodbye yet. Damn, I should have suggested coffee somewher_e. He saw his apartment building come into sight and he scowled.

Jason pulled his car up to the curb and put it in park, but didn't turn it off Wufei noticed with disappointment. _I shouldn't be surprised, it is our first date and I'm sure he has to be at the hospital early tomorrow_.

Wufei turned to face Jason after unfastening his seatbelt and even though Jason was smiling at him, Wufei thought the eyes looked a little sad. _Maybe he's thinking the same thing I am, but is following my lead_?

"Jason…..would you like to come up for some coffee?"

"Sure."

Wufei saw the eyes light up as the smile broadened and his stomach became a pit of butterflies. _Oh gods, what was I thinking? And more importantly….what is he thinking_?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Nice place."

"Thanks."

Wufei brought out two steaming cups of coffee and placed them on the coffee table while Jason continued to wander around his living room, perusing his artwork. He stopped at a framed piece of calligraphy and looked to Wufei, asking his silent question.

"It's a haiku. First Autumn morning:/the mirror I stare into/shows my father's face."

Standing there listening to Wufei recite the haiku and drinking in the sight of the handsome man with rosy cheeks, Jason knew that he'd already fallen hard for the younger man.

"That's beautiful. Who wrote it?"

"Kijo Murakami."

"Not you?"

Wufei scoffed and turned to sit down and sip at his coffee.

"I have no gift for poetry."

Jason joined Wufei on the sofa and reached out for his coffee mug, holding it with both hands, letting the heat warm his hands and inhaling the rich aroma.

"A man of action, huh?"

Wufei locked eyes with Jason over the rim of his mug, his cheeks becoming that much warmer. Jason just chuckled before taking a drink.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason and Wufei spent the next hour or so just sipping coffee and talking about whatever topic happened along. They were completely comfortable with each other and everything was going along smoothly until Wufei took their cups into the kitchen for refills and noticed the time.

"Jason, I'm so sorry. I hadn't realized how late it had become."

Jason just chuckled and stood up.

"All right, all right, I get the hint."

"Hint?" Wufei paused or a few seconds then frowned and shook his head a few times, moving to cut off Jason as he made his way to the door. "No, that's not what I meant. You always get to the hospital so early."

Jason rubbed the back of his neck and offered a sheepish grin.

"That was just so I could spend more time with you."

Wufei just stood there, mouth slightly open, his response dying in his throat. He hadn't considered how Jason managed to spend so much time with him. He just thought him to be the type of doctor who spends lots of time with his patients. Suddenly, Wufei felt a ball of nervous energy start roiling around in the pit of his stomach. And he liked it. Jason made him feel alive and awakened things in him he thought long buried.

Jason saw the change in Wufei and wasn't sure what it meant but he had an intense urge to find out. _Nobody has ever intrigued me like he does. What is it about him that draws me in every time I see him_?

Jason slowly approached Wufei, debating for the hundredth time that night how far he wanted things to go on their first date. _To hell with it….I really want to know_.

Jason stopped within inches of Wufei and slipped a hand around Wufei's waist, leaning in and whispering into his ear, their cheeks brushing.

"Wufei, I really want to kiss you right now, but I think I should warn you first."

Wufei chuckled and pulled back to gaze into the sparkling green eyes, fully embracing the feelings the man provoked with him. He hadn't felt this attracted to someone in a long time.

"I had a really great time tonight and I think you did too. And I can easily see myself falling for you. But I think it's only fair to warn you. I am a _terrible_ boyfriend. And if I kiss you right now, there's a strong possibility you might find out the truth of that statement."

Wufei leaned in a little closer until their lips were almost brushing, his voice a husky whisper.

"How terrible are we talking?"

"I have a terrible memory for anything not work-related …." Jason closed the minute gap between them and brushed his lips against Wufei's and both men's lids dropped to half mast. "…I'm a blanket hog and….I can't cook…."

This time Wufei flicked his tongue out, running it along Jason's lower lip, causing Jason's breath to hitch.

"And I'm a neat freak with a hair-trigger temper. Now kiss me."

Without a second's hesitation Jason did as he was told and Wufei pulled Jason with him towards the sofa.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason knew he should be appreciating the works of art all around him, displayed and lighted perfectly, but all he could seem to focus on was the man by his side. They'd been wandering the expansive structure which offered two floors spanning three wings, a gift store, café, and three sculpture gardens to its visitors for probably about a half hour and all Jason could recall of what he'd seen was Wufei's disgust at a modern art piece.

As he stood in front of a painting that was no doubt famous for something, his eyes kept wandering to his right, catching glimpses of Wufei.

"Don't you think, Jason?"

Suddenly Jason was faced with expectant black eyes and he had no idea what to say.

"I, uh…I'm sorry. I didn't hear you."

Wufei scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. For the past four months they'd been enjoying the fresh blush of a blossoming relationship as they got to know each other. _He didn't seem hesitant when I asked him to come but as soon as we got here he's been acting…odd_.

"If you didn't want to come, you should have just said so."

"But I did want to come."

"The glazed look in your eyes and lack of speech indicate otherwise."

Jason couldn't help but smile, always enjoying the sparks that ignited in the pitch black eyes.

"I'm sorry, I really am. And I do want to be here. It's just…"

Jason stepped around Wufei and leaned in against his back, whispering against the exposed ear.

"I find you to be a much more desirable subject."

Wufei felt his cheeks warm to the sultry words and he couldn't help the smile. _This man. How can I defend against him_?

Wufei turned around when the warm presence detached itself from his back and saw Jason walking away, his focus on the next painting.

Wufei couldn't recall the last time he had been this content and happy. Their personalities meshed well, and even when they conflicted it still served to bring them closer. _He's a good man_.

Wufei walked up to Jason's side and reached out to entwine their fingers and when he dared a side glance he noted the small smile and slight color to Jason's cheeks. _This man_…..

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**So how's Dr. Dreamy?**_

Wufei rolled his eyes but he couldn't help the smile.

"He's great. As a matter of fact he was just made head of an inter-hospital research team. There are twelve hospitals in all."

_**Wow, impressive. What's the research?**_

"New surgical technologies. He's very excited."

_**Good thing because you sure don't sound like it.**_

"I'm happy for him. This is something he really wanted and I'm proud of him."

_**Buuuuut?**_

"But….he was telling me what the job entails and it's going to eat up a good chunk of his time. And he'll be visiting the other hospitals, overseeing progress…."

_**And leaving you home all alone.**_

Wufei sighed.

_**Did you say something to him about it?**_

"What the hell am I supposed to say, Maxwell? Don't take this prestigious position that you so desperately want because I'm some pathetic excuse of a boyfriend who can't stand the prospect of sitting home alone?"

_**Well when you put it that way I'd dump your ass.**_

Wufei growled but Duo could sense the amusement in his best friend's tone.

_**I'm sure things will even out after awhile. He just has to get a grasp on the situation. Jason's a smart guy, he'll figure it out. In the meantime, why don't you see about scheming a long weekend with him when he travels? Let him work, but have him all to yourself in the evening and the next day.**_

"Hm, maybe."

_**This isn't going to be as bad as you think, trust me.**_

_**To be continued…**_


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

I have gone completely _**NUTS**_ with this story. I already had the ending sketched and knew where I was going, but then…one sleepless night ruined it all. Or maybe not; only time will tell. But the end result is that this story is being refurbished. I have a new direction and I must see it through.

In the meantime I'm posting what I have (about three chapters I think) and working on connecting the pieces.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 7**

Duo looked up at the sound of the front door being unlocked to see Jason walking in, a shocked look on his face upon laying eyes on Duo.

"Oh, hello, Duo."

Duo winked and smiled at the surprised doctor as he shut the door behind him and walked into the living room.

"Hey, Doc."

Jason made his way into the kitchen, seeking out Wufei whom he found maintaining three pots on the stove, looking serious. He leaned in, offering only a kiss on the cheek before backing away. He knew how much trouble he could get in if he interfered with Wufei's cooking rhythm. _Duo must have really gotten in trouble if he's in the living room_.

"Hi."

Wufei cast a quick glance at Jason before turning back to his food. But seeing the handsome man made the creases in his face smooth and Wufei smiled.

"Hello. You forgot, didn't you?"

Jason chuckled and shrugged.

"I'm sorry. You mad?"

"Of course not. We haven't even sat down to eat yet."

Wufei turned, blowing on a spoonful of sauce.

"Here."

Jason leaned in and tasted the offered reddish liquid. Before he could lean back, Wufei leaned forward and kissed him, then licked Jason's lips before going back to cooking and licking his own.

"Hmmm. I think it actually tastes better on you."

"Well sorry to disappoint, 'Fei, but I'm not eating anything off him. No offense, man."

Jason chuckled and clapped Duo on the shoulder before turning to leave the kitchen while Wufei glared at his friend.

"None taken. I'm going to freshen up and change before dinner."

Duo waited until he heard a door close in the back before speaking up again.

"Why didn't you tell me he moved in with you?"

"He didn't. He has a key and a couple dresser drawers."

Duo watched his longtime friend as he continued to concentrate on his cooking. _His jaw is clenched. He's tense about something and it's not the food. But this is a good thing, right? He's never let anyone get this close before_. _ Unless_….

"Well, it makes sense. I mean, between his schedule and your schedule, it's better if you both land in the same place, right? Otherwise, jeez, you'd guys never see each other."

Duo took a drink of his beer but saw the split-second twitch of Wufei's eye. _Bingo_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei was so exhausted he could barely see straight to put the key in the doorknob to unlock his apartment door. He leaned his forehead against the door and concentrated on the simple task. Suddenly, the door gave way and he fell forward with a gasp, only to be caught in strong arms.

"Gotcha!"

Wufei looked up to see sparkling green eyes and a gentle smile.

"Ja…son? What're you….?"

Jason helped Wufei back to his feet, grabbed his bags and then guided him into the apartment. He quickly stashed the bags in the front closet and went back to Wufei who was just standing by the sofa, staring at Jason as if he were a ghost.

Jason chuckled as he hugged Wufei to him, squeezing tighter than usual.

"C'mon, let's get you a bath and something to eat."

Jason pulled back and entwined their fingers as he led Wufei to the bathroom, but Wufei stopped and continued to stare at Jason.

"Wufei? Is something wrong?"

"You're here."

"Yes."

"But…..you're never home this early. It's still daylight."

Jason's smile faltered and he closed the gap between them, brushing some hair from Wufei's cheek. He rested his forehead against Wufei's and closed his eyes, trying to keep his emotions in check. In truth, he'd been a basket case for the past four days and finally, when he'd showed up for work this morning, one of the doctors sent him packing, telling him to get some rest.

"I tried calling that damnable place you work but they wouldn't give me any information. I've been so worried about you. You said you would be gone for five days and it's been ten. What the hell happened?"

Wufei tried to get his shocked and exhausted mind to function properly and comprehend what Jason was saying. _He was….worried_?

"I'm…sorry, Jason. I couldn't call. There was a solar flare. It knocked out communication and caused damage to a nearby resource satellite. We stopped to help with the repairs. I'm…..sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm just glad you're home, safe. I was so worried something terrible had happened and those bureaucratic bastards wouldn't tell me anything."

Wufei sighed and laid his head on Jason's shoulder. _He's been worried about me for days, thinking I was hurt, or worse. He was so worried that he was here, waiting for me to come home. Oh gods, I wish I were awake enough to comfort him. But I'm just so tired_.

"Jason?"

"Hm?"

"I haven't really slept in three days. Do you think we could skip the shower and food and just go to bed?"

"Anything you want."

Jason guided Wufei back to the bedroom where he stripped Wufei and himself, then they slipped into bed where Jason enveloped the man he'd been dreaming about for days in his arms, thankful Wufei was home and safe and they both fell asleep, the first peaceful sleep for either in quite some time.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei stared at the piece of paper long after printing it, reading it over and over again, looking for errors that didn't exist. It had taken him three weeks to make the decision to submit the request to Lady Une, and half as long to write an acceptable submission and prepare an effective argument should the need arise.

_This is the right decision. If I'm not flying off to the colonies and I just work here on Earth, it will free up a significant amount of my time and Jason and I will be able to see each other a lot more_. _It probably won't keep him from worrying about me, but it's a start._

He stood up and headed for Lady Une's office, prepared to fight tooth and nail to get his request approved. He truly cared for Jason, but the lack of time with his boyfriend was becoming a problem. _How can you build a relationship with someone who spends more time away from you than with you_?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

He sat there at the table and stared at the light blue box he'd just finished wrapping with a simple dark blue ribbon. _I wonder if he'll even agree to see me. Last time_….

Echoes of Wufei's angry voice seemed to fill his head to capacity and Heero winced at the ghost pain from a book hitting him in the temple. It had been over six months since that encounter with Wufei. He knew through Duo that Wufei was currently dating the surgeon who performed the transplant.

_I knew I didn't like that guy_. _But I have no one to blame but myself. I ran away from him_.

Heero let his hand come to rest on the blue box, debating whether it should remain with him for a little while longer. He had hoped that once the transplant was complete, Wufei's animosity would wane and they could talk. But with the exception of when he first woke up, Heero didn't see or hear from Wufei.

_I should just leave him alone. It's obvious he wants nothing to do with me. But_…_I have to try. He's worth it. And even if he won't see me, I'll give him this and give him some time to think about things. I have to let him know I'm serious_.

_To be continued…_


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 8**

Wufei sat on the bed, knees drawn up to his chest, gazing down at the sleeping man next to him. He reached out and gently stroked the soft mop of sex-tousled hair, smoothing it out.

They hadn't seen each other in four days, Jason having attended a seminar, and when Wufei picked him up from the airport, he insisted on going straight to Wufei's apartment. The car ride was quiet, Jason dozing peacefully and Wufei content to let him rest, knowing he'd have him all to himself for the rest of the day through tomorrow afternoon at the very least.

But when they got back to Wufei's, Jason's stomach spoke up loudly so Wufei was happy to make them lunch. After lunch, Jason pepped up a bit and it wasn't long before he had hoisted Wufei over his shoulder and carried him back to the bedroom.

After a very passionate reunion, the pair collapsed and it didn't take Jason more than five minutes to fall asleep. Wufei had tried nudging him awake but to no avail, so he sat up in bed and just watched his boyfriend sleep.

"What am I going to do with you, Jason? I almost wish you were the terrible boyfriend you claimed you'd be. At least than I'd know what to do."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason felt the exhaustion wash over him when the apartment door came into sight. _Ah, finally_. He'd been at the hospital since 5am and it was now closing in on 2am. _At least it wasn't a full twenty-four hours_. He opened the door quietly and put his bag in the closet, thankful for the small light Wufei left on for him. As he walked over to the lamp to turn it off he stopped when he saw he wasn't alone.

Wufei was laying on the sofa, open book held to his chest by his hands, glasses slightly askew from letting his head fall to the side during sleep. Jason squatted down at Wufei's head and deftly removed Wufei's glasses. Then he just stayed there and admired the peaceful picture.

_He's so…..beautiful. I never thought I'd describe a man like that but he is just that striking. How the hell did I ever convince him to give me a chance_?

"Thank you."

Jason leaned in and kissed Wufei's forehead before standing up to retrieve a blanket to cover the sleeping man. But when he returned he found sleepy onyxes staring up at him.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

Wufei blinked slowly a few times and a groggy voice sounded.

"Mmmwhat time is it?"

"It's almost two. Just go back to sleep. Here."

Jason started to drape the blanket over Wufei but a noise, halfway between a whine and a growl sounded as Wufei sat up and pushed the blanket away.

"No, no. You're home. I'll make….you something to eat."

Wufei stood up and started shuffling to the kitchen, rubbing his face in an effort to shake the sleepy haze from his mind.

"I know you didn't eat a single decent thing while you were there."

Jason grabbed hold of Wufei's shoulders and gently redirected him towards the bedroom.

"I'm not hungry. Let's just go to bed, ok?"

Wufei stopped and looked to Jason, a little confused from just waking.

"But I want to make sure you stick around for a long time and if you don't eat properly---"

Wufei's words were cut off as Jason grabbed his head and kissed him. He was startled awake by the action, and started to push away.

"Jason…what--?"

When Jason pulled back Wufei could see he was flushed and a moment of panic struck.

"Do you have a fever?"

Wufei placed his forehead against Jason's but the other man just chuckled.

"No, I'm fine. I'm more than fine."

"Jason, you're not making any sense."

"I love you too, Wufei. And I'll start taking better care of myself from now on, I promise. Because I want to be with you for as long as you'll have me."

Wufei stared, his own cheeks becoming warm. _He….loves me. He's thinking about the future too? I had no idea_. Wufei brought a hand up, caressing Jason's cheek and smiling.

"You're blushing. I like it."

Wufei kissed Jason tenderly, letting his whole body rest against Jason. Then he hugged him tightly, burying his face in Jason's neck.

"I do love you, Jason."

Suddenly Wufei found himself hoisted up as Jason carried him back to the bedroom.

"Come on, we both need some sleep."

"Sleep? Really, Jason? Do you want to sleep at a moment like this?"

Wufei whispered in Jason's ear and then nipped his lobe. Jason just smiled at him before depositing him on the bed.

"Yes, I'm sure. Because I'm going to be around for awhile, remember? So I figure I've got some time. Now move over."

Jason had stripped while talking to Wufei and he slid under the cool covers, latching onto Wufei and settling into bed. Both men fell asleep quickly, both with content smiles.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"So how's life with the doc?'

Wufei's only reply was a tired sigh. Duo frowned, expecting a better answer since the last time they spoke.

"His hours haven't gotten any better? I thought he was resigning from that whats-it committee to free up some time for you?"

Wufei slumped down, resting his elbow on the table, chin in palm.

"He did. And it has made him a little bit more available. But the pages haven't decreased at all. You'd think he was the only damned capable person at the hospital."

"It's been what, almost eight months now, right?"

Duo's only answer was a disjointed nod of Wufei's head which he refused to lift from his hand. _I know how to get him to liven up_.

"Has he ever left in the middle of…..you know….?"

"Maxwell!"

"What? It's a legitimate question."

Wufei glared at the image of his friend on the vid screen and finally seeing no remorse in the curious amethysts, Wufei sighed and hung his head.

"I really don't think that's any of your business."

"So that's a yes."

Wufei looked back up, mouth open ready to spew all manner of curses, but he saw the warm smile and sparkling eyes and knew he'd been defeated.

"Only once. And it wasn't exactly in the middle of something. More like immediately afterwards."

"Jeez, he's really dedicated."

"He's a doctor, Maxwell. Of course he's dedicated."

"And you admire that in him."

"Yes."

Duo saw and heard Wufei's resignation. It wasn't anything new. At least, not lately. Duo saw the signs a while back that Wufei was having trouble reconciling himself to Jason's long and odd hours. _As if Wufei's hours weren't bad enough. Although he did request no more missions in the colonies to be closer to home. He really loves Jason. I hope it works out for them. They're good together_.

_To be continued….._


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 9**

Wufei lit the candles, his eyes never leaving the man sitting at the end of the table. He felt his insides go warm at the deep green eyes reflecting the flickering flames and the smile he knew was just for him. _Finally. We've barely seen each other this week and now it's just the two of us_.

Wufei walked up to Jason and slipped onto his lap as if mounting a motorcycle and he clasped his hands behind Jason's neck and kissed him deeply. Jason wrapped his arms around Wufei and returned the passion, the two kissing until they had to part to breathe.

Wufei rested his forehead against Jason's and licked his lips. Jason chuckled as he looked around Wufei at the table full of food and candles and back at Wufei again.

"So all this food is just for show?"

Wufei's smile widened and he leaned in, nibbling on Jason's ear.

"Not hungry for food anymore."

Jason moaned as his hands slipped under Wufei's shirt and Wufei kissed and nibbled down his neck and back up again to his lips. Suddenly, a shrill beep sounded and the pair froze.

"No, not tonight. Jason, please."

"Wufei, I have to, you know that."

Wufei hung his head as he got off of Jason and went into the kitchen while Jason called the hospital. Within a few minutes Jason was in the kitchen hugging Wufei from behind, whispering between tender kisses along his neck.

"I'm sorry, Wufei. I know you went through a lot of trouble to make dinner. I'll come back as soon as I can, ok?"

Wufei just stood there, the refrigerator open for no reason other than something to do while Jason answered his page.

"Wufei, I'm sorry."

Jason waited a minute but Wufei still didn't say anything so with a defeated sigh he let go and left. Wufei stood there staring into the refrigerator, and when he heard the front door click shut he finally spoke.

"Happy birthday to me."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

KNOCK KNOCK

"Who the hell?"

Wufei looked at the clock and wondered who would be knocking on his apartment door at 8pm at night. _Jason has his own key and he wouldn't be back so soon anyway_. Wufei put the plate of fish back on the table and went to answer the door. When he opened the door all he could do was stare at his visitor with wide eyes. Finally, it was the man standing in front of him that broke the silence.

"Hi. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Wufei blinked a few times and cleared his throat.

"Uh…no. What are you doing here, Yuy?"

"I just wanted to give you this."

Heero pulled his hand from behind his back and held out a thin, medium sized box wrapped in blue paper. Wufei reached out and took the box, looking at it as if dumbfounded.

"Happy birthday, Chang."

Wufei stared at the box for a few more moments, his brain trying to catch up to what was happening. He didn't notice that Heero had started to walk away. When he regained control of himself and looked up, Heero was waiting for the elevator, several doors down. He looked down at the box and then back at Heero. _I can't believe I'm about to say this…_.

"Yuy, wait. Would you….like to come in?"

Heero turned and just looked at Wufei for a few moments before nodding and walking back towards the apartment. _He seems confused, that's good. It's an improvement from hostile_. He walked through the door and into the warm, inviting space. He stood just inside the door and admired the rich golden walls adorned with various framed pieces of art and the deep crimson and black furniture.

Wufei just watched Heero for a few seconds as his eyes scanned, studied, and if Wufei was reading him properly, appreciated his apartment. He looked down at the package in his hands and felt a nervous jolt in his chest. _Why did he do this_?

At the sound of paper being torn, Heero turned to Wufei, holding out his hand, gesturing for Wufei to stop.

"You don't need to open that now."

Heero was nervous enough as it was, he wasn't sure he could handle being there when Wufei opened the gift. _Just being allowed around him, in his apartment no less…..that's more than I had hoped for. I shouldn't push my luck. Perhaps I should leave_.

Wufei looked down at the gift and carefully replaced the folded piece of paper with the tape and put it down on the side table. His fingers lingered a few seconds and then they slowly slipped away.

"H-have you eaten? There's plenty."

Heero looked at the table and saw the two place settings and half-burned candles and suddenly felt that Wufei's evening had already been interrupted. _Obviously he's planned a nice dinner, so where is the surgeon boyfriend? Did he really leave Wufei alone on his birthday_?

"Are you sure?"

"Have a seat. I'll get you something to drink."

Wufei reappeared moments later with two glasses of wine and sat at the second place setting.

"Please, help yourself."

Heero cast one more uncertain look at Wufei before reaching out for the large plate of fish. The pair served themselves and began eating in silence, the only sounds being the clinking of silverware against china. _Why did he invite me to stay for dinner? What is he expecting from me_?

"I never properly thanked you."

Heero practically jumped out of his seat at the quiet voice but kept his head bowed over his plate.

"There's no need."

"Don't be ridiculous. You saved my life, Yuy."

Heero looked up and felt his chest restrict at the sight of the black eyes with flames dancing in them.

"And you saved mine. We're even, so drop it."

Wufei frowned and looked at Heero.

"In the hospital. I heard you yelling at me." Heero dropped his gaze to his plate, absently moving his food around with his fork. "I'm really not sure I would have bothered to wake up if I hadn't heard your voice."

Wufei's cheeks blazed as he recalled yelling at Heero from his wheelchair. When Jason had told him that there was nothing physically wrong with Heero but he still wouldn't wake up, Wufei felt a surge of panic, fear and anger well up inside and he just let it loose.

_I didn't want him to die. I didn't want him to go away_.

Wufei suddenly stood up, retreating to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and stared inside blankly, letting the cool wash over him. _Of course he would have woken up, the fool. I shouldn't have let it get to me then and I definitely shouldn't now_.

Heero didn't say anything more after Wufei returned, waiting for the tense man to begin a new conversation. But Wufei never said anything else and the pair continued their dinner in silence.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei drank the last drop from his second glass of wine and put the glass down, staring at it as he turned it by the stem between his thumb and index finger. Neither had really spoken during dinner and Wufei wondered if Heero was thinking about the same things he was. _What the hell was I thinking inviting Heero to have dinner with me_? _What if Jason had come home? How would I explain? And why, after all this time has he suddenly shown up to deliver a birthday present_? _If he had done this that first year after he left I would have_---

Motion to his right snagged Wufei's attention and he saw Heero standing, empty plate in hand.

"No, leave it there, I'll get it later."

Heero put down his empty plate and watched as Wufei stood up and went over to the end table, picking up his gift.

"I think I'd like to open this now."

Heero's stomach twisted and he briefly questioned whether Wufei asked him to eat just to intensify his sense of nervousness. He knew his estranged friend had the skills and sense of revenge to execute such a plan, but a small part of him hoped he was just being paranoid. _We're too mature for that, right_?

"Heero…."

Heero blinked out of his internal debate at the sound of Wufei whispering his name in awe, seeing Wufei gazing with wonder at the small print in his hands. Heero had found the piece of art rolled up on the back of some dusty shelf in a pawn shop while waiting for the owner to ring up his purchase of computer hardware. He instantly thought of Wufei and bought it. He'd been holding onto it for almost two years now and in that time had it properly matted and framed.

"It's nothing. I actually tried to catch you at work today but they told me you'd already left."

What Heero hoped Wufei wouldn't ask was what he did between the time he stopped by Preventors Headquarters over fours ago and now. After being told Wufei was gone, it took him another hour to find someone willing to tell him that Duo was away on a mission. After another half hour of trying to find someone willing to give him Wufei's phone number or address, he finally decided that following the rules wasn't all it was cracked up to be and so he just hacked their computer system and found the information on his own.

"It's…..beautiful."

Wufei looked to Heero and the dull pain in his chest flared up so much he thought he wouldn't be able to breathe. _What is he doing giving me something like this? Why did he have to come back into my life? I was over him. The pain….it had gone away_.

"I'm glad you like it."

The two remained staring at each other for a few awkward moments before Heero bowed his head and mumbled,

"I should go."

Wufei just nodded and allowed Heero to brush past him on his way to the door. He heard the door click open and wondered what, if anything he should say.

"Thank you for dinner."

"You're welcome." Wufei turned to face Heero, offering the barest of smiles. "And thank you for…..giving me a birthday."

Heero nodded, understanding the layered meaning behind Wufei's words and not able to say anything to it. _I don't think I could speak right now if I wanted to_. So Heero softly closed the door behind him and walked away with a quiet satisfaction that Wufei was holding the print to his chest.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason stood in the living room and admired the print leaning against the wall on the mantle above the fireplace. It didn't look familiar to him. It was a beautiful ink print, with deep red trumpet flowers and black leaves and sweeping stems. And sitting on top of one of the arching stems was a red grasshopper. There were also Chinese characters in the upper left corner that he couldn't read.

"Is this a new print?"

Wufei hesitated for a brief moment as he reached for the coffee pot and debated whether or not he wanted to tell Jason the truth. _If I tell him the truth he'll know he forgot my birthday but worse, it will also bring up the possibility of having to talk about Heero which I don't want to do. _Wufei sighed as he began to pour his coffee. _But I don't want to lie to him_.

"Yes. It was a birthday gift."

"A birth---Oh shit, Wufei, I'm so sorry."

Jason walked over to Wufei and gave him a quick kiss before hugging him tightly.

"It was yesterday? I told you I was a horrible boyfriend. Why didn't you say something?"

"What good would that have done? You still had to leave."

"I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you. I'll make breakfast and serve it to you in bed."

Wufei chuckled and pushed away and headed for the refrigerator, followed closely by Jason.

"How is eating _your_ cooking a good thing?"

"Hey, I've gotten better."

"Not enough."

"Ok, ok, then how about I offer to…" Jason reached out and wrapped his arms around Wufei's waist and pulled him close, while Wufei was playfully trying to push away. "…..bathe you and give you a massage and….." Jason backed them up until Wufei came to a stop against the wall and was effectively pinned by the doctor's body. "…..deliver breakfast from your favorite bakery to you in bed."

Wufei smiled and dropped his eyelids to half mast, adopting a coy tone.

"I think that might make me feel better."

_To be continued…._

**A/U** – I actually saw the print described in this chapter while searching for artwork for my bathroom. I love it and wish I could have justified paying the kind of money they wanted for it.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 10**

"So who was it?"

Wufei raised his eyebrows in question as he looked up at Jason with a mouth full of pastry. Jason had been true to his word and after a morning that Wufei could only describe as sinfully luxurious, he and Jason were lounging in bed, eating their lunchtime pastries. Wufei was sitting with his back against the headboard while Jason had opted to sit to his side, perpendicular.

"Who gave you the print?"

Wufei nodded, to indicate he understood Jason's question, but he chewed very slowly and purposefully, trying to figure out how he was going to explain things. _But…. I have nothing to hide_.

Finally he swallowed hard and took a sip of coffee before answering.

"Heero. He stopped by last night out of the blue, a little after you left. I invited him in, we ate dinner, and then he left."

"Really? That's great."

Wufei frowned at Jason. He was fairly certain Jason had ascertained enough about his past with Heero while Wufei was in the hospital, but he seemed genuinely happy about their reunion.

"Excuse me?"

"Heero….he's the kidney donor, right? Back in the hospital, even though I was a stranger to the situation, I could see how much you meant to each other."

Wufei just stared at Jason, confused. _The tone in his voice, the uncertain smile….._.

"It's not what you think."

Jason just chuckled at his own insecurity and Wufei's ability to easily pick up on it. _Or maybe I'm just that obvious_.

"I think he's a good friend and for whatever reason you two are not on the best of terms. Is there something else I should know?"

Wufei looked away, his hands clasping the coffee mug tightly. _Should I tell him? Is it really any of his business_? _ He seems nervous enough about Heero, will telling him the truth help_?

"He….many years ago….Heero broke my heart."

Jason waited for Wufei to elaborate but then Wufei reached for the half-eaten pastry and Jason knew that was his boyfriend's subtle way of dropping the subject. _But I have to know_….

"I see. Well…..I guess I should know now before things get even more complicated….should I be worried about Heero?"

Wufei's head whipped around and his coffee sloshed in its cup.

"What?!"

"It's a legitimate question."

"Jason, no…..we only had dinner."

"A dinner you lovingly made for your own birthday because your worthless boyfriend couldn't get it together enough."

"I made the dinner because you can't cook."

Jason was relieved to see Wufei's smirk and he couldn't help but offer one in return.

"One of these days I'll make you a delicious dinner. I promise."

"Then it's settled. Next year for my birthday, I want you to cook me dinner."

Jason's smirk morphed into a shy smile and he dropped his head before Wufei could see his rosy cheeks. He loved it when they spoke about things in the future. Things _they_ would be doing in the future. _This is the first time I've ever truly thought about the future with someone else_.

Wufei's chest tightened seeing Jason's shy reaction. It was times like these that he was the happiest. _To speak with Jason about the future and see him blush, I know it means something to him too_. Unfortunately these moments were rare. More often than not, they were two ships passing in the night, or too exhausted to do much when their paths did collide.

_Is this how it's always going to be? I can't see it getting any better. If anything, it will get worse. Jason will only advance in his position with the hospital, or worse, get transferred somewhere else. Then what? We talk about the future, but what kind of future do we really have_?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**He did what?!**_

Wufei was surprised to hear genuine shock in Duo's voice. He'd thought for sure that their mutual friend had known about Heero's plan.

"Yes, he….he dropped by to give me a birthday present."

_**I…well….that's good….right?**_

"I don't know."

_**How did things go? What did he give you? Did he say why he stopped by? Does Jason know? Was he there?**_

Wufei rolled his eyes at duo's frantic litany of questions.

"Please, calm down."

_**Sorry.**_

"I don't know why he showed up. Jason wasn't home and so I invited him in to have dinner. I still have no idea why, but--"

_**Maybe because he saved your life and you still treated him like crap.**_

Wufei felt his cheeks burn and wanted to yell at the statement with the accusatory tone, but duo was right and he had no defense.

"I know. And I thanked him when he was here. But he just blew it off."

_**Hm.**_

Neither spoke for a moment lost in their own thoughts until duo finally spoke up again, his voice normal again.

_**So what did he give you? Other than a kidney that is.**_

Wufei's eyes narrowed, quickly losing what little patience he had at duo's barbs.

"He gave me an ink print. It's lovely."

Duo smiled. _That's just like Heero, always knowing exactly what to give as a gift. An odd talent for someone like him_.

_**How did Jason react when he showed up? Does he know what happened between you two?**_

Wufei sighed and began rubbing his temple with his free hand.

"Jason was at the hospital. But the next morning I told him Heero stopped by and showed him the print."

There was silence and duo waited, until finally….

_**And? I need a little bit more here, 'Fei.**_

"He….He knows enough about what happened between me and Heero and……he was nervous about Heero's presence."

_**But you told him he was crazy right?**_

"Of course I did. I don't feel any longing for Heero whatsoever. But I'd be lying if I said I don't think about him. What the hell was he thinking, Maxwell? Why didn't he do this that year after he left? Or the year after that? Or the year….damn him!"

'_**Fei…**_

"And it's not like I can talk to Jason about this. Not that we're ever together long enough to have the discussion."

Duo frowned at Wufei's rant, knowing if he was just talking out loud as if no one were there, things were not good.

'_**Fei, calm down. Look. It's natural to wonder why Heero came back now. I'm curious, that's for damn sure. And I'm sure**_ _**Jason would understand. But it sounds like you're not just upset about Heero. Are things really that bad with Jason?**_

Wufei debated about talking to duo about Jason and finally he decided he would handle things on his own. He couldn't keep turning to duo every time he had a problem.

"No…I'm just stressed about so many things that small issues are being blown out of proportion."

Duo wasn't convinced, but he decided not to push things and just take one problem at a time.

_**Oh, by the way, Trowa won the pool.**_

Wufei scoffed, his lips quirking in a half-smile.

"Of course he did. He has an unfair advantage."

_**He was hoping that if Quatre found out what we were doing, he would get the hint, but apparently not. **_

"So how is Quatre doing?"

_**He's fine. The hospital kept him overnight to make sure it was just exhaustion and he's been resting at home ever since, doing some light work from there under Trowa's constant supervision**_.

Wufei thought about the pair and how lucky they were to have each other to love and care for and to be with always. _I want that with Jason but_….

"I'm not sure we can do it."

_**Huh? What was that?**_

At the sound of Duo's voice Wufei snapped out of his thoughts and wondered himself what he just said.

"N-nothing, just mumbling I guess."

_**Do I need to send Trowa over to babysit you too?**_

Wufei managed a smirk but nothing else.

"Perhaps. He can bring Quatre along and start his own daycare."

Duo was glad to hear Wufei joking with him but he wasn't fooled. Things were not all right.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei's guilt was gnawing at him and the worse it got, the angrier he became. He was stuck in a vicious cycle with no way out. Unless….

_If I go to him and ask….will he answer me? Will I be able to handle his answer?_

Although Wufei had told Jason Heero coming over had been no big deal, deep down he knew otherwise. Ever since seeing Heero he'd found himself staring at the print and wondering what Heero was doing: with his life, at that moment, showing up at his apartment…..

He'd considered getting rid of it, but he really liked the print and Jason knew that. _So if I suddenly get rid of it, he'll get suspicious_.

Wufei stood up and walked towards the mantle, his eyes never leaving the simple red and black print. He reached out letting his fingertips trace the lines of one of the trumpet flowers.

_Why did he suddenly show up for my birthday?_

_Why did I invite him in?_

_Why did he run away from me all those years ago?_

_Heero…..why have you returned after all this time?!_

Wufei hung his head, ashamed that he was so fixated on the print and Heero's motives. _It doesn't matter why he showed up. I'm with Jason and even though we may not have the most perfect relationship, we love each other. And I don't feel that way about Heero anymore. So why can't I banish Heero from my mind_?

In a fit of frustration Wufei hit the wall above the mantle and turned, throwing himself back on the sofa and staring at the ceiling. He sighed and thought of Jason, hoping to turn his mind to more pleasant things, but his depression seemed to take a dive deeper into the darkness.

_Oh, Jason…I do love you, but being with you…..it makes me feel so lonely. I don't know how much more I can take of this_.

Wufei knew Jason was a busy man and had a lot of responsibility. He was the head of surgery at St. Joseph's hospital which was a very large facility. And if he wasn't doing surgical duty, he was reviewing surgery cases at the hospital. And even though he'd finally been replaced as head of the inter-hospital research program, he was still involved with the project, reading up on the latest advancements and meeting with the research committee to participate in discussions concerning whether or not to obtain the technology and include it with their program. I_t's something he feels passionate about. I can't ask him to step away_.

Sometimes Jason would come home so tired and his body bent over, Wufei would massage his neck and hands and feet, knowing how much strain he put on his body; standing for hours, bent over a surgical table or large volumes of paperwork. And on days when he spent most of it in surgery, his hands would cramp up on him after hours of holding a scalpel.

But Wufei's life wasn't exactly stress free and easy either. He knew part of the trouble was his schedule as well. Although he was no longer going to the colonies, he still spent a lot of time at work. Since he was earth bound, Lady Une had decided to put him in charge of a small unit, coordinating their missions. Sometimes he went on the mission, other times not; but regardless of his presence on the mission, he still had to do the necessary research and preparation. Only now it was for seven men instead of just himself and a partner. The promotion had been welcomed, but Wufei didn't see a significant change in his time spent away from home. Yes, he ended up in his own bed almost every night, but he might not make it there until 12 or 1am., and there was no guarantee he would find Jason waiting for him. _This can't last forever though. Sooner or later I'll stop going on missions altogether. But will Jason be here when that time comes_?

_To be continued…._


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**Note: this chapter was reposted since my edits were enough to change the tone of some scenes and since I've already reposted two other chapters, I might as well do all the upgrades, right?**

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 11**

_**So how did he take it?**_

Duo got nothing but silence in answer to his question and he frowned, his tone becoming firm.

_**Heero. What did 'Fei say when you told him you were---**_

"I didn't, all right?"

_**You've got to tell him.**_

"…..I know. And I will."

_**Soon. Your meeting's coming up in a week.**_

Duo heard the sigh and he wished he could reach through the phone and slap Heero upside the head for being so skittish. Ever since the scene between him and Wufei in the hospital before the surgery, Heero had been walking on eggshells when it came to their tempestuous friend. _I had hoped that since things went well for Wufei's birthday that things were on the mend. But neither has tried to contact the other since then. _

_**Look at it this way: if you think calling and telling him will be bad, just imagine what it will be like if he finds out after the fact.**_

Heero chuckled knowing Wufei's temper well, remembering times long past that they butted heads, even physically fought a few times, and Heero's heartbeat quickened. He missed those times desperately and although he didn't want to get into a fist fight with Wufei, having that interaction with him was more than welcome.

"I'll tell him, don't worry."

_**Of course I worry, you fool. Now get off the phone with me and call 'Fei.**_

Heero just scoffed and the friends ended their call, leaving Heero staring at the phone in his hand, trying to convince himself to call Wufei. _This is ridiculous. Why does he need to know? I might not even take the job. Besides, I don't need his permission. If we're going to be friends again, I should treat him like I always did. I think he'll appreciate that_. _He doesn't like weakness and if he gets mad, I'll just give it right back. He respects that_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey, you ready for some lunch?"

Wufei cast a quick glance at the clock on his laptop as he continued clacking away on the keyboard. He hadn't bothered setting an alarm to remind him to eat lunch today because Duo had called a few days ago and the friends had made plans to have lunch together while Duo was in town for an automotive convention.

"I'll be ready in---"

"Hey, down here!"

Wufei looked up to see Duo smiling broadly and waving to an unseen person. _Who the hell is he waving to? He doesn't know anybody here_. Within seconds a figure appeared in the glass flanking Wufei's office door and he stared, bewildered as the pair greeted each other with smiles and then turned to him expectantly.

"Well? Let's go!"

Wufei sat there, his eyes locked with the cerulean gems across the way, both men unaware of the knowing look in the amethyst eyes of their friend. _I hated going behind his back like this, but these two need to start working things out, and I'm just the meddlesome guy for the job_.

"You didn't tell him I was coming, did you?"

The question was low and spoken without lips really moving, but Duo understood it well enough and with the smile still on his face he turned to his friend, his voice accusatory.

"Nope. Did you tell him why you're in town?"

Heero's eyes widened for a split second and then he schooled his features once again and cleared his throat. _I'm caught_. _But this isn't helping matters. Wufei has that quiet anger to him, that's worse than when he's yelling_.

"I didn't think so. We're even."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Duo knew he'd taken a chance in deceiving Wufei about their lunch but his friends weren't leaving him with many options. _These two have to grow up and get over things_.

His hope was bolstered a bit when Wufei agreed to have lunch with them, but it was just as quickly dashed when Wufei walked past him out of his office and the onyx eyes fixed on him. _Shit. He's more than angry. But….he is going, so_….

Lunch had been an awkward and quick affair, the trio finishing up within forty-five minutes. Duo had tried to get them engaged in conversations but to no avail, and Wufei barely made eye contact with Duo, never mind Heero, and he barely touched his lunch.

"Well, I need to get back to work. Maxwell, I'll call you later tonight. We have matters to discuss."

Duo laughed nervously at the calm face and icy voice of his longtime friend.

"Heh, yeah I can't wait. Later, 'Fei."

"Yuy."

Wufei offered a curt nod and turned on his heels, striding towards the exit and his safe haven at Preventors Headquarters.

Duo watched helplessly as Wufei practically ran from them and then he returned his attention to Heero who was still staring at the restaurant door.

"I'm not sure which one of us is in more trouble: me for lying about you coming to lunch, or you for lying to him about your appointment with Lady Une."

"I didn't lie. That would require actually speaking to him."

Duo couldn't help but chuckle.

"True. But do you really think a technicality like that is going to temper the dragon's anger?"

Heero dropped his gaze to his half-eaten lunch. _No. He's going to be furious. I may have done more damage by not telling him._

Duo sighed and stood up, pulling on Heero's sleeve as he did.

"All right, come on. You don't want to be late."

Heero felt his gut twist with anxiety. _Am I making a mistake? I'm not taking the job just to be closer to Wufei, but it was definitely a deciding factor_.

Suddenly Heero found an arm around his shoulders and he was yanked off his steady stride. Duo leaned in close, his warm smile easing Heero's tension a bit.

"What's done is done. All you can do is move forward. Got it?"

"Yeah."

Heero tried not to sound so down, but he couldn't seem to muster his normal confidence.

He cursed himself as they walked towards the large building looming in the distance that was Preventors Headquarters. He hadn't been able to bring himself to contact Wufei and tell him he had a meeting with Lady Une. Every time he picked up the phone he choked, finding some excuse or another not to call. Even at lunch he found himself choking on his words whenever he looked to the quietly fuming man. Wufei was the only person Heero was aware of that could make him retreat.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Cerulean eyes constantly scanned his surroundings as he signed in and was escorted to Lady Une's office. _I'm halfway there and there's still no sign of glinting black eyes_. Heero was becoming hopeful he might actually be able to pull off sneaking in and out of Preventors without Wufei seeing him until a very familiar voice dashed all hope.

"Yuy?"

Heero turned towards the voice and saw Wufei quickly approaching.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I have a meeting with Lady Une."

Narrowed eyes widened.

"Why would you--?"

"Work."

Wufei couldn't find words to express how he felt, mainly because he wasn't sure. He really shouldn't care that Heero was going to become a Preventor. Heero's life was his own. It was a big organization and there was the possibility they would most likely never see each other. But the fact that he tried to do it covertly enraged Wufei.

"Do you not want me to work here?"

Wufei felt his cheeks get warm and his anger flare up enough to take charge of his emotions.

"Why should I care where you work?"

Wufei spun on his heels and started a brisk retreat back down the hallway he'd just come, not caring that he was heading in the opposite direction of his destination.

"Wufei, stop!"

Heero left his confused escort and headed after Wufei who ignored him and entered an elevator.

"Stop!"

Heero skidded into the elevator just in time to be closed in with a seething Wufei. He reached out and pressed the all stop button and the elevator came to an abrupt halt and a chorus of sharp bells sang out. Wufei's head whipped around and he stared unbelieving at Heero who just leaned there against the elevator wall, arms crossed over his chest.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Wufei reached out for the control panel but Heero stepped in his way.

"I want to talk to you for a moment."

"This is neither the time nor the place, Yuy!"

Wufei tried to push Heero to the side but the former pilot stood firm and pushed Wufei back a step.

"Just give me a moment to--"

"No! If you had something to say, you should have spoken up at lunch!"

This time Wufei grabbed Heero by the shoulders and yanked him bodily out of the way. As he turned to restart the elevator he was grabbed from behind and dragged away, his fingertips barely brushing against the smooth red button.

The pair scuffled in the confined space yelling and grunting as each tried to gain the upper hand. Finally, Heero managed to twist them into a pretzel-like position with him controlling the situation.

"I just want to talk, damn it!"

"Go to hell!"

"Don't be a fool. Any moment now someone is going to unlock the elevator and if you don't agree to talk with me, they're going to find us in a _very_ compromising position."

"Gods damn you!"

Heero sighed and let his neck go lax, bringing his forehead to rest on Wufei's shoulder. _Maybe I should just beg his forgiveness right now and get it over with. Presenting a strong front isn't working_. _A good soldier knows when to retreat_.

"I just…..want to talk."

Suddenly the ringing stopped and the elevator jerked to life. By the time its doors opened wide with a shrill ding, Wufei and Heero were put back together and standing on opposite sides of the elevator looking calm and composed. As Wufei stepped off he turned to the secretary standing there among the gaggle of people looking on in curiosity.

"Call maintenance and have them check the elevators immediately."

Heero watched Wufei walk away calmly as if nothing had happened and as the doors closed he wondered if that would be his last encounter with the ebony haired man.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heero looked up at the sound of the high-pitched ding and the doors opened, revealing a gold and maroon striped wallpaper and frosted glass wall sconce. He took a deep breath and slowly released it as he approached the apartment door, his hand clasping a piece of paper in his pocket.

Before leaving Lady Une's office, a note was delivered to Heero. It was from Wufei indicating he would be waiting for Heero at his apartment so they could speak. _If he's willing to see me, he can't be that mad_._ Maybe standing up to him worked after all_.

KNOCK KNOCK

The door opened to reveal Wufei looking like a stern Principal ready to give a lecture. He simply stepped aside, a signal for Heero to enter, not even offering a greeting. Heero entered the apartment and Wufei silently gestured for him to take a seat.

"Thanks for agreeing---"

"Just get to the point and say what you have to say."

Heero's mouth opened and closed once before he sighed and nodded a few times, understanding the situation. _He is mad, but he's still willing to speak with me which means he's mad at himself more than me. Agreeing to meet with me is no doubt a defeat in his mind. Plus, it probably means he's curious about me. That's good_.

"I understand you're angry that I didn't tell you about the job, but---"

"You should have told me. The way you went about it seems very underhanded."

Heero took a deep breath, feeling a heaviness lift from him at Wufei's words.

"I agree. And Duo told me I should---"

"Duo knew?"

_Shit. Now I just got Duo in trouble too. Oh well, he can take care of himself._

"Don't be mad at him. I told him I would call you first. I just….I didn't think it would matter that much. I apologize."

_He's right. This shouldn't be that big of an issue. So what if Heero starts working for the Preventors. It has nothing to do with me; we'll most likely barely see each other_. _But still…why is he really doing this_?

Heero sighed and sat down in a nearby chair and ran his fingers through his hair.

"So you do still hate me."

"What? Don't be foolish, Yuy, I don't hate you."

"Then why don't you want me working for the Preventors?"

Before Wufei could stop himself he blurted out his thoughts.

"Because this isn't what you wanted. You said you wanted to be normal and the Preventors…it's not normal."

Heero sat in awe at Wufei's words and the sad look in the depthless black eyes aimed at him. He felt a tightness in his chest and it scared him a little. _He remembered that? So he doesn't want me there because he's worried about me_?

The pair remained sitting there in silence for a few strained moments until Heero shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat. _Now's my chance_.

"There was something I wanted to tell you….that night…your birthday, I mean."

Wufei just turned his curious eyes on the brunette and Heero dropped his head.

"I…was wrong. Back then….I didn't know what to do, so-----"

"So you ran away without a single look back or a simple word of goodbye."

Heero was ready to spit out a vehement defense of his actions but it died in his throat as he accepted the truth of the statement.

"Yes. And I'm sorry. I…..hurt you; I know that, but…"

Wufei was growing progressively uncomfortable with the conversation. His eyes darted to the print and he felt a twinge of guilt in his gut. _Why did I say that to him? What he does with his life is none of my business_. Unable to figure out his emotions Wufei embraced the familiar feel of anger; he had been kept in the dark about Heero's plans to join the Preventors; he allowed himself to get dragged into a juvenile scuffle in the elevator. But mostly he was angry at himself for allowing this situation to ever occur. _I wish I'd never seen that print or his face again. Then I wouldn't have this pain back_.

"You have apologized. Now please…I'd like to freshen up before Jason comes home."

Heero looked up to see Wufei standing at his front door, now ajar, hand tightly gripping the metal knob.

"Why won't you listen to me? I'm trying to tell you---"

"I did listen. You apologized."

"Wufei, I want…."

"Enough."

Wufei's clipped tone stopped Heero's approach and they held each other's gazes.

"It took me a long time to get over what you did and….I accept your apology. It's just going to take awhile before I'm completely comfortable around you."

He watched as Heero's lips parted as if to say something, and heard the quiet intake of air, but only silence followed. Heero's eyes looked sad for a brief moment, and then he offered the barest of smiles.

"Fair enough."

His gaze trained forward, Heero continued to approach the open door meant for him but he stopped when he was close enough to speak softly and be heard. He didn't know why, but he couldn't seem to speak any louder.

"I hope that day comes soon. I've really missed you."

Wufei was rooted to the floor and stared blankly ahead, unable to respond in any way to Heero's words, even when a cool hand slipped over his own and gently pulled the door away from him. It wasn't until the door clicked shut that Wufei broke free of his shock and made his way to the sofa and collapsed in a heap, gazing wide-eyed at the print across the room. _Heero….are you willing to go so far as to join the Preventors to repair our friendship? That's ridiculous and foolish and unnecessary. But who am I to dictate what you do with your life? _

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"So how did it go? Are you officially a Preventor now?"

Heero merely grunted and took another sip of his coffee. Duo's hopeful face fell and he sighed. _I should have known better than to ask._

"Words please. I don't speak grunt."

Cold blue eyes narrowed at the friend across the table, but then they softened and Heero sat back in the booth with a sigh.

"There was some yelling and a wrestling match in an elevator, but he agreed to meet with me at his apartment where I apologized and told him I missed him."

Duo stared wide-eyed, listening to Heero relay the events of his day as if he were giving a mission report.

"What was his reaction?" _As if I didn't know_….

Heero shrugged and brought his mug of coffee up for another tentative sip. He didn't feel like discussing Wufei's apparent worry for his wellbeing. For now he would savor the pleasant, nervous sensation it inspired.

"Nothing. I left."

Duo just sat there, absorbing everything he'd just been told, and began to wonder if he even knew his friends anymore. _What the hell is going on with these two? 'Fei didn't get angry? Heero admitted to missing him? To his face_?!

Duo regarded his longtime friend sitting across from him, trying to glean answers by staring deeply into the cerulean eyes. _Wait. He told 'Fei…..is it possible? Is Heero trying to win back more than 'Fei's friendship?_

Duo cleared his throat and sat back in the booth. _I have to say something. I can't let him do this_.

"I'm glad you two seem to be slowly healing, but….just be his friend, all right? I mean, 'Fei is happy with Jason and---"

Heero's eyes went wide and he placed his mug down on the table with more force than he intended, cutting off Duo's thoughts.

"How could you think I would do such a thing? I just want to be his friend again."

Duo heard the anger in Heero's tone and knew his longtime friend to be a straightforward person and he believed Heero when he said he just wanted to get his friend back. But he was still worried. _Deep down….he still has that hope…..I know him too well not to see it in his eyes_. _But it's quite possible he has no idea how his actions or words are coming off and that's dangerous for both of them_.

"Then my advice to you is not to dwell on the past. Stop apologizing. He doesn't want to be reminded, got it? Start from scratch. 'Fei is a prideful bastard but he's not heartless. He's happy with his life now and I think he'll be willing to accept you back. Just be patient."

_To be continued…._


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 12**

"Wufei? What are you doing here?"

Jason smiled and accepted the quick kiss on his cheek and the hug from Wufei.

"I thought that instead of complaining about your eating habits I would do something about them. Here."

Wufei held out a large brown paper bag which Jason supported with two hands.

"Wow. You….didn't have to do this. Thank you."

Wufei's smile broadened to see Jason's cheeks showing some heat. It was so rare and Wufei knew it was a sign of extreme emotion for the doctor. _Like the first time he told me he loved me_.

"You're very welcome. And I know you're busy so I'll get out of your way."

Wufei turned to the nurse smiling at them from behind the counter, not bothering to hide the fact that she was listening to their whole exchange.

"I'm counting on you, Miss. Dorothy, to make sure he eats."

The older woman chuckled and put her hands on her hips.

"And what makes you think I can get him to do anything?"

"Everyone knows you run this place, Miss. Dorothy."

The nurse laughed out loud this time as she grabbed some folders and walked over to Jason and gave him an affectionate pat on the cheek.

"You're darn right I do. And speaking of which, you haven't taken a break yet today, have you, Doctor Ziegler?"

Jason cleared his throat.

"No ma'am."

"I think it's about time you took one then, huh?"

Another affectionate pat on Jason's cheek and the older woman started down the hallway. Jason just chuckled and shook his head.

"Well, you heard the woman. Let's eat."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Are you just going to sit there and watch me eat?"

Wufei's smile curled a little more.

"Maybe."

"Well stop it."

Wufei stood up from the chair he was sitting in on the opposite side of Jason's desk and walked around so he was standing behind the doctor and slipped his arms around his broad shoulders and rested his chin on Jason's shoulder, nuzzling his neck.

"Is this better?"

"….uh, no actually."

Jason put down his sandwich and reached up, disconnecting Wufei's arms and sitting forward. Wufei stood up straight and frowned. He backed up a few steps and looked down at Jason, his feelings obviously hurt.

"What's wrong?"

Jason rubbed the back of his neck and when he looked up at Wufei, his boyfriend was treated to rosy cheeks and a shy smile.

"Nothing's _wrong_. But I can't have you doing that right now."

"Doing what? Hugging you?"

Jason's smile vanished when he heard the defensiveness in Wufei's voice and the man's brows furrowed and his frown became a scowl. Jason let out a frustrated sigh and reached out for Wufei, pulling him onto his lap and hugging him tightly, speaking into the space between Wufei's shoulder blades as he gingerly adjusted Wufei's position on his lap.

"Now do you understand why I can't have you hanging on me?"

At first Wufei was still confused by Jason's behavior, but then Jason shifted under him again and he suddenly felt a very rigid reason for Jason's behavior. Wufei chuckled and leaned back into Jason, reaching a hand up to grab hold of Jason's hair while turning his face towards the doctor. He slowly and languorously kissed Jason, thoroughly indulging in the thin pink lips before delving into the mouth that was spicy from the sandwich he'd packed for lunch.

When he finally pulled back, Jason was looking at him through half lidded eyes.

"Enjoy your lunch."

Wufei slipped off Jason's lap and headed for the office door. As soon as the door clicked shut Jason closed his eyes and moaned as he tried to adjust himself into a more comfortable position. He'd been worried about Wufei's behavior the past month; his boyfriend seeming a bit distant even though their time together was precious due to their schedules. _But today he seems fine. Maybe he was just stressed at work and didn't want to bother me with it_. _Gods, how did I ever get so lucky to have that beautiful man in my life_?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**Thank you again for lunch.**_

"You're welcome. Have you eaten since?"

_**I had a soda and Tastycake about an hour ago.**_

"How can a doctor have such poor eating habits?"

_**It's my job to keep everyone else healthy.**_

Wufei sighed and sunk further into the sofa, knowing the true purpose of the phone call and wishing Jason would just come out and say he wasn't coming over tonight.

"Speaking of which, isn't it about this time in the conversation that you tell me that I won't be seeing you tonight?"

There was silence for a few moments, then Jason's quiet apologetic voice sounded.

_**I'm sorry, Wufei. Doctor Mels—**_

"Don't worry about it. Just try to get some sleep and put something in your stomach more substantial please."

Jason knew the terse tone did not bode well and the guilt that always seemed to roil around in the pit of his stomach flared up horribly and Jason put a hand on his stomach and winced.

_**Ok. I will. Sweet dreams.**_

At the quiet, tender words Wufei simply disconnected the line, throwing the phone to the other end of the sofa and glaring at it.

_I hate it when he acts so remorseful and sweet. How am I supposed to stay mad at him?!_

Wufei growled and got up from the sofa and headed back to take a shower, but when he entered the bedroom and caught sight of the empty bed he stopped and just stared.

_He makes me feel more alone than when I wasn't seeing anyone. _

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Are you certain about this? You seemed pretty determined when you requested, no, I dare say you _demanded_ that I restrict your missions to earth. And now, you're volunteering for missions in the colonies again? May I ask why?"

Wufei knew Lady Une had every right to be curious about his request and so he tried to keep his tone even, but he could still hear a touch of indignation when he spoke.

"The circumstances that warranted my previous request have changed and therefore I didn't think it fair to keep the stipulation in place."

"I see."

Lady Une tilted her head to the side and her eyes narrowed as she considered Wufei, sitting tall and rigid in the chair opposite her desk. He was one of her better agents and as much as she would like to take advantage of his offer, Lady Une knew better. She could see an act of desperation from a mile away. _He's trying to run away from something, but what? Or rather, who_?

"I appreciate your honesty in the matter, Commander Chang, but the truth of the matter is I need you here more." She could see Wufei was about to protest so she plowed on, not giving him a chance. "That being said, I have a mission that I would like you to take care of personally, outside of your squad. It is still on earth and you will be working with a partner."

"Yes ma'am."

Wufei stood up and took the offered package from Lady Une, saluted and left the office. It wasn't until he was back in his office that he opened the envelope and examined its contents. He quickly scanned the summary sheet and as his eyes roamed the text, his mind filtering out the irrelevant information, everything came to a screeching halt as his eyes remained fixed on the words,

**Additional Mission Members: Heero Yuy, Intelligence and Technology Specialist**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

After reviewing the entire mission file repeatedly and trying to figure a way of accomplishing the mission objective without Heero's assistance, Wufei finally gave up and sat back in his office chair with a groan. He'd managed to avoid Heero's presence for the most part at Preventors Headquarters due mainly to their varied schedules and different departments. And the few times Heero and Wufei did cross paths, Wufei simply acted politely, not engaging in any unnecessary conversation and leaving as quickly as possible.

But now he would be forced to work directly with Heero for a mission that would require them to be alone, in a confined place for at least four days, according to his estimates.

_I shouldn't let this get to me. We're both professionals. Heero would never let anything interfere with the mission_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason wasn't interested in watching whatever was on the TV. What he was interested in, was why his boyfriend had been very quiet and standoffish for the past two days. _A bad day I can see, but not two days. Not like this_.

He cast another side glance at Wufei who was sitting on the other end of the sofa, knees pulled up and arms crossed over his chest as he stared at the TV. _Whenever he pulls into himself, something is wrong_.

Jason reached for the remote and turned the TV off, earning himself an incredulous look from Wufei.

"All right. What the hell is going on with you? You've been pouting for two days now."

Wufei opened his mouth to rebuke Jason's accusation but then he clamped it shut, knowing Jason was right. _Although I would hardly call it 'pouting_'. He sighed and let his legs stretch out before him, coming in contact with Jason's leg, and his arms went lax, leaving his hands to rest limply in his lap.

"I'm sorry. I've had a lot on my mind lately."

"You know you can talk to me. Is it work, personal? Both?"

Jason scooted closer to Wufei until Wufei's knees were resting on his lap. He began to slowly kneed Wufei's legs, hoping it would help him to relax and speak his mind.

"It's….work. Mostly."

Wufei dropped his gaze to his lap, cursing himself for letting this get to him enough to affect his mood around Jason. _It shouldn't be a big deal. I'm a professional_!

"Tell me."

Wufei looked up at the quiet pleading voice and he felt guilty for not relying on Jason to begin with. _I love him and I trust him. I can tell him. Even if he doesn't understand, he'll be supportive_.

"I received a new mission yesterday. The mission itself is nothing new. It's my partner."

Jason translated "nothing new" to mean dangerous. Wufei was always very careful not to blatantly say his mission was dangerous when it was, and Jason was very grateful for that.

"Ok, so you don't like your partner? Can you request a new one?"

"The trouble is that he is the right person for the job and I have the utmost faith in his skills."

"That's a problem?"

Wufei smirked at Jason's confusion. _I suppose I do sound a little crazy._

"My partner is Heero. And I'm anxious about working with him again after everything that's happened."

Jason trusted Wufei with all his heart and knew he had no reason to be jealous or wary of Heero's presence. His concern lay in the fact that Wufei's temper might get out of control and he might end up hurting his partner. _If he's not in the right frame of mind, something could happen to him. He could get hurt, or worse_…

"Wufei….I would never dare to dictate any aspect of your career. But if being Heero's partner is going to bother you this much, I'm asking that you please not do this mission with him."

Wufei regarded his boyfriend carefully, noting all physical aspects as well as considering his tone of voice. _Heero doesn't bother him. His concern is me_.

"I don't have much choice. I have to--"

Jason's grip on Wufei's leg suddenly tightened and Wufei's eye went a little wide at the forceful tone that was tinged with fear.

"No you don't. Your mental wellbeing is just as important as your physical wellbeing. And if your head's not in the game you could get hurt."

Suddenly everything made sense and Wufei laid his head against the back of the sofa, cool leather against his cheek. He smiled at Jason and reached out, placing his own hand over Jason's that was still gripping his thigh rather tightly.

"I'm lucky to have you worrying about me."

"I'm serious, Wufei."

"I know, and I love you for it."

Gaining a new perspective on his situation helped Wufei to let go of his tension and anxiety about working with Heero. _He's right. My mind isn't focused and that's dangerous. Maybe that's the solution: total concentration on the mission. Heero is nothing but a means to an end. _

_To be continued…._


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 13**

Heero cast a glance at his partner sitting in the passenger's seat as they raced down the highway towards their destination. The mission was simple enough, if dangerous: gather as much intel on a known drug dealer and set up a buyer's meeting so the Preventors could swoop in and make the arrest. Wufei would be the one making contact with the target while Heero would play the part of the muscle while both did stake out duty. It would require the pair to work closely together at all times.

The planning meetings they had prior to the mission had been business-like, which Heero didn't mind because it was better than being treated like a leper. He saw it as a positive sign Wufei was willing to work with him. _It's like Duo said: Just start from scratch and earn his friendship_.

But from the moment Wufei laid eyes on him this morning, Heero had the distinct impression Wufei wanted nothing to do with him. _Did I do something wrong_? _I should say something so this doesn't affect our mission. We can't afford to have him distracted when he should be doing his job_.

Heero cleared his throat and Wufei started, turning towards him, looking almost accusatory.

"I just wanted to say thank you."

Wufei's brows furrowed and Heero figured that was his cue to continue.

"I thought you would refuse the mission because of me. I wouldn't blame you if you had."

Wufei studied the man driving. Heero's posture seemed casual enough, but there were small telltale signs of his nervousness. His grip on the steering wheel was exceptionally tight as evidenced by his white knuckles showing through. Wufei saw Heero's jaw shift, obviously clenched with tension. Wufei turned his attention forward again. _I'm being foolish_.

"I saw no reason to refuse. You're the most qualified for the job."

The pair sat in silence for awhile and then Wufei spoke up again after exhaling sharply.

"Besides, there's no other I would rather have watching my back."

Heero cast a quick glance at his passenger and saw that his face was relaxed, if a bit neutral, and for the first time since reaching out to his long lost friend, he felt hopeful that Wufei would welcome him back into his life. _He's being sincere_.

"Thank you."

Wufei responded with a quiet scoff that curved one corner of his mouth just slightly. _Maybe this mission won't be so bad after all_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Even though Jason lived five minutes away from the hospital and Wufei lived twenty minutes away, they both preferred it when Jason ended his day, whatever time that was, at Wufei's apartment. When Jason arrived at Wufei's apartment he felt like he was home. It was warm, inviting, and best of all, Wufei was there waiting for him, asleep or not and that was all Jason needed. Wufei's very presence soothed his weariness.

But Wufei had been gone for three days and even though he slept in the bed they shared, still able to faintly smell his absentee boyfriend, Jason was having trouble sleeping.

_I hope he's all right. He's been very distracted lately…withdrawn. I know he was stressed about working with Heero, but I think something else is going on with him. Maybe when he gets back we'll take a weekend somewhere_.

Inspired, Jason got out of bed and headed for the living room where he'd left his laptop on the low table in front of the sofa. Not bothering with any lights, he sat before the laptop and flipped it open, bathing himself in electric blue light.

He pulled up his calendar and started flipping through, day by day, noting appointments, surgeries, consultations, a conference, and days Wufei had earmarked for upcoming missions. By the time he found enough free time, he was already six months away.

Jason frowned and sat back with a sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

_Jesus, how do we get any time together? _

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei watched as Heero sat in the corner and tried to administer first aid to himself. For the most part he was doing fairly well, but truly he needed two hands for the job. _I can't believe I lost my temper like that. But I guess it worked out. He agreed to meet us tomorrow for the buy. I'd hate to think what would have happened if Heero and I didn't win that fight_.

A quiet growl caught Wufei's attention and he focused on his partner again, his frown deepening. Finally frustrated enough, Wufei stood up and approached Heero, kneeling down in front of him and snatching away the cotton swab and bandages Heero was trying to maneuver.

Wufei began to properly and thoroughly clean and stitch the wound, his eyes focused on his job, but glancing up every now and again to shoot Heero an annoyed look.

"I don't know why you insisted on doing this yourself, but I refuse to watch you fumble your way through this any longer."

Heero was about to protest and pull away from Wufei, but then Wufei held up a needle and thread and Heero became perfectly still.

"I'm not helpless."

"No, but you are my partner."

Heero felt his stomach come alive with a nervous flutter at Wufei's words.

"And a sloppy one at that. What the hell was that back there? Since when are you caught unaware in a brawl?"

Wufei saw the split second flinch and he wondered what Heero was thinking.

"Cut me some slack. There were eight guys."

"Hmph. I thought your ratio was ten to one."

Heero smirked and was happy to see Wufei do the same. _This feels good, natural. Like years ago_….

"I'm not seventeen anymore."

"Neither of us are I'm afraid."

Wufei let his hands fall to his lap with a satisfied sigh.

"All right. Finished."

"Thanks."

Heero just sat there, while Wufei waited for Heero to say what was on his mind. _I can see it in his eyes. There's something on his mind. _

Suddenly, Heero reached out and ran cold fingertips over Wufei's cheekbone. Wufei's eyes went a little wide, but he didn't pull back from the touch.

"Does it hurt?"

"Huh? Oh….no."

Wufei bowed his head a little, his focus on his hands, now clenched in his lap. He'd seen the bruise in the bathroom mirror and winced more for the coloration than in actual pain. Wufei knew exactly what punch did it too.

"I guess I'll apologize to Jason when we get back."

Wufei's head whipped up and he looked at Heero, incredulous.

"What?"

Heero half chuckled, half scoffed and leaned back against the wall with a tired sigh.

"I'm returning you damaged."

"Dam…? Don't make it sound like I'm some possession you borrowed, Yuy."

"But…"

Heero suddenly looked serious and his voice dropped, carrying a hint of sadness.

"…..you do belong to him, don't you?"

Wufei opened and closed his mouth before huffing and sitting back on his rear, his face matching Heero's serious façade with the added touch of rosy cheeks.

"I….suppose so."

Black onyxes searched the sparkling cerulean eyes across from him, looking for some clue as to what was going to come out of his mouth next.

Heero sat there and gazed into Wufei's eyes, seeing a sadness he didn't expect in the black pools. _To hear Duo talk, they're in love and happy. And it's not like we've been away for a long time that he should miss him that much. I wonder what's gong on. But we're not friends. It's none of my business. _

"Hey."

Heero blinked free of his thoughts to see Wufei standing before him, hand extended in assistance.

"You need to rest. I'll take first watch."

Heero accepted the hand but still winced as Wufei pulled him to his feet. Heero was too tired to argue with Wufei and he shuffled over to the cot cordoned off with a hanging sheet. As he settled into the lumpy mattress, trying to situate himself as comfortably as possible among the hills and valleys of stuffing, he heard Wufei quietly chuckle.

"We still make quite a pair, don't we, Yuy?"

Heero didn't respond to Wufei's question, his tone suggesting he was just speaking out loud to himself. But as he closed his eyes, his lips curved into a soft, sleepy smile.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason heard the lock tumbling in the front door and left the kitchen to welcome Wufei home with a big hug and kiss, but when he caught sight of his boyfriend he stopped in his tracks, frowning.

Wufei knew what was coming so he spoke up first as he put his gear in the front closet.

"Yes, yes. Heero sends his deepest apologizes for sending me home like this."

"He hit you?!"

Jason was on Wufei in a heartbeat, examining the bruise with an angry look on his face and Wufei could only scoff and smile as he imagined Jason seeking retribution from Heero. _Jason wouldn't last five seconds_.

A soft, moist touch on his cheek sprang him from his musings and he found Jason administering gentle kisses all along his jaw line, until he finally found Wufei's lips. They remained there for a few quiet moments, Wufei melting into Jason and his ministrations. When they parted, Wufei let his forehead come to rest on Jason's shoulder.

"So what really happened?"

"We got sloppy and ended up in a brawl. Heero actually needed stitches."

Jason squeezed a little tighter before releasing Wufei and leading him over to the sofa.

"Can I get you anything?"

Wufei just shook his head and leaned his head back closing his eyes. Jason sat down next to him and studied his boyfriend, noting the circles under his eyes.

"So how did things go with Heero? Other than the sloppiness."

Wufei scoffed but kept his eyes closed.

"They went well. It wasn't like it used to be, but we still make a good team. So I guess if Une puts us together again I won't mind. I did tell her I'd do colonies work again and I think that's Heero's primary concentration."

"The colonies?"

Wufei nodded as he stood up and headed for the kitchen.

"Yeah. I told Une I would take assignments there again."

"But….why?"

Wufei shrugged before disappearing into the kitchen.

"I felt guilty for demanding such a thing."

Jason frowned. _If he starts going to the colonies again, we'll never see each other. Doesn't he care about seeing me anymore? Or has he become numb to the whole situation?_

_To be continued……_


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 14**

"Mind if I join you?"

Wufei looked up from his book to see Heero standing before him, tray of food in hand.

"Please."

Heero's body noticeably relaxed and Wufei couldn't help the small smile. _I guess we are still a little skittish around each other._

"I don't usually see you here."

Heero's brows furrowed as he popped the top on a soda can.

"I'm under orders."

Wufei's eyebrows raised high in question and Heero chuckled self-deprecatingly as he laid out his lunch of soup, sandwich, apple, and soda.

"Someone snitched on me to Une so now I am 'hereby ordered to leave the department's premises for at least one twenty minute interval per day'."

He took a tentative taste of his soup and shrugged.

"So I figured lunch was a good way to kill some time."

He took another spoonful and when he looked up he found black eyes shining and a familiar knowing smile aimed at him. Wufei closed his book and pushed it aside.

"Oh, I don't want to keep you from your book. I just didn't feel like sitting alone and opening myself up to someone trying to join me and expect me to socialize."

Wufei chuckled and sat back in his chair, feeling a familiar sensation. It wasn't anger or frustration or happiness or anxiety. It was simply the feeling Heero had always inspired and Wufei welcomed it.

"So what you're saying is you're using me as a strategic implement and have no desire to converse with me."

Heero was about to panic but he saw the eyes and lopsided smirk and he realized what was happening. _This is us. We push and pull and chide and god it feels so damned good_.

"If you were truly strategic I would have sat next to you so you could act as a shield."

The smirk grew and Heero smiled as he returned his attention to his meal. Wufei followed his example and the two continued on in companionable silence until Heero spoke up again, his soup gone and his sandwich his next target.

"Do you come here everyday?"

Wufei nodded as he chewed his food and then took a swallow of iced tea.

"I try to, yes. But when the weather turns nicer I go outside."

"We have an outside eating area?"

"No, no. But if you use the exit by Personnel, there's a nice little grassy area before the trees start."

Heero mentally filed away the information, nodded his head once and took a chug of his soda.

"I'll keep it in mind."

"I'll save you a seat."

The two men held each other's gaze for a moment, then both chuckled and returned their attention to their meals, happy in the knowledge their friendship was repairing itself.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Tell them no."

_**It's not---**_

"It's very simple, Jason. You are a well-educated, well spoken man. Surely saying the word 'no' shouldn't pose a problem for you."

Jason closed his eyes, having expected Wufei's anger, but it was always terrible to face. _At least I'm on the phone_.

_**You think this makes me happy? I want to go with you. I've been looking forward to this since you bought the tickets months ago. **_

Jason heard Wufei growl on the other end.

_**I know you're upset and I promise I'll make it up to you.**_

"Don't bother."

_**Please don't do this.**_

"I have to go. I need to finish up some things before I leave."

_**Wufei.**_

"Goodnight, and try to get a decent meal and some rest, all right?"

_**I will. I love you.**_

But by the time Jason's words had left his mouth the sound of a disconnected call sounded in his ear. He flipped his phone shut and looked around, angry and frustrated, and needing to hit something. Finally he opted to kick the wall which only served to add pain on top of his anger.

"Damn it! I just wanted one night! One god damned night!"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heero looked up at the light tapping to see Wufei standing there looking a little out of sorts.

"Hey. What are you doing down here?"

Wufei smirked. All the tech divisions were in the lower levels, utilizing the extra insulation the ground offered. It was commonly referred to as the dungeon and Wufei could instantly see why. There was grey and black everywhere, the light colored walls not really helping to brighten the place up. There wasn't much else in the way of color unless you counted the grids, maps, and computer processing charts.

"I wanted to see how you're doing."

Heero's eyes went a little wide briefly but he quickly recovered and sat back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest.

"What's wrong?"

Wufei was ready to protest, or even lie, but he didn't have it in him. Instead he sighed and looked down at the ground as if inspecting his shoes.

"I was wondering if you were busy tonight."

Heero was taken off guard by Wufei's answer and his confidence left him, leaving him slightly slack jawed.

"To…night? Why?"

Wufei's cheeks felt warm but he lifted his head and faced Heero, refusing to let himself act so foolishly. _This is so embarrassing. I have a boyfriend. I shouldn't need to hijack a friend to go out_.

"I have an extra ticket to see a play and thought you might like to join me."

"Join you and Jason? I don't know. Wouldn't I be inter---"

Wufei cleared his throat and bowed his head again briefly before looking back to Heero.

"Jason won't be going. It would just be you and I."

Suddenly Heero saw the whole picture and even though he was ready to pounce at the chance to go out with Wufei, he felt bad for the man. _I'm sure he's upset that Jason isn't going_.

"Sure. What time?"

Wufei blinked a few times, unbelieving of Heero's answer, given so casually.

"Really?"

Heero offered a lopsided smirk.

"I've been known to indulge in social activities."

Wufei chuckled at Heero's response and felt his bad mood lifting. _This will be good after all. We haven't really socialized outside of work and that's not healthy_.

"A sight to see I'm sure."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Despite having found the silver lining in the situation, by the time Wufei arrived at the theater and saw Heero waiting for him, his mood soured. _That should have been Jason standing there and smiling, happy to see me._ He hid his dark thoughts from Heero to be fair; it wasn't Heero's fault he had an absentee boyfriend and Wufei was thankful to have the company.

_I shouldn't be here with Heero. I should be here with Jason. We so rarely get to go out and do things like this and he has to cancel. This is ridiculous_!

As Wufei sat in the dark half listening to the players on the stage, he thought about what he really wanted and what price he was willing to pay. _It seems more often than not, I'm unhappy or lonely. We live within twenty minutes of each other but sometimes I swear it feels like a long distance relationship._ _I can't…no, I won't keep doing this. This isn't a relationship_.

The sound of applause and bright lights brought Wufei back to the here and now to see the players on stage bowing, and he realized he had no idea how the play ended. _Damn it_!

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The two men stood by a tree decorated with twinkle lights as their fellow theater patrons filed back out into the streets, melting into the constantly moving tide of city night life. Wufei had called a taxi and Heero offered to wait with him. He thought for sure Wufei would become indignant and say he was acting foolish but to his surprise his companion offered a small smile and nodded. _Maybe I can find out what's on his mind_. _He's been distracted all night_. He eyed Wufei out of the corner of his eye and cleared his throat before speaking up.

"It's none of my business…but….is everything all right with you?"

Wufei was taken aback. In all the years he'd known Heero, not once had he initiated a conversation that would involve discussing their feelings. _Except for that night_….

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine."

Heero heard the lie in Wufei's tone and decided to try a different tactic to get his friend talking about what was bothering him.

"I'm sure you'd rather be here with Jason, but I still had a nice time. Thanks for the invite."

Wufei scoffed and shook his head a few times, his lips curving in a wry smile. _I never thought I'd forgive him and yet here we are, going to see a play and walking along together. This is nice, just the two of us_.

"Thanks for coming with me. It's still early, so….do you want to grab some coffee or something?"

Heero suddenly wondered if he was awake. _Maybe this is just some dream. But this is what friends do, right? They get coffee_. _This is perfectly normal._

"Sure. And while we're at it I'll tell you how the play ended."

Wufei just stared after Heero as he started to walk along the city street alone, hands shoved in his pockets. _How did he know_?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

In the back of his mind he was aware of things going on around him. The creak of the bedroom door, the light clang as Jason undressed, his belt invariably hitting the dresser as he pulled it free, the low grumbling that indicated he was trying to plug in his cell phone in the dark, and then finally Wufei's body tipped back slightly as Jason laid down next to him, and the quiet sigh that always followed. Wufei was aware of all these things in the back of his mind as he continued along in the hazy world of half consciousness.

He tried to stay awake and wait for Jason since he didn't get home until after 11p.m., but the satisfying fatigue that set in thanks to a pleasant evening that included a play, a leisurely walk in the city, and having coffee and dessert with Heero won out and he shuffled off to bed.

As solid, warm arms wrapped around him, they brought him out of his hazy sleep and he opened his eyes to see large red numbers boldly stating the time of 3:22 a.m. He could feel the spike of anger inside but closed his eyes and tried to calm down and go back to sleep before his alarm blared in a few hours. He repeated a mantra he'd learned as a child to help him meditate and just when he started to fall back asleep, a tender moist touch tickled his neck.

"I'm sorry."

The words were whispered by his ear and caused goose bumps to breakout over his body. He didn't react to Jason's words. He just lay there, his partner's steady breathing gliding over his neck, and stared at the red numbers as they slowly morphed through time and he contemplated if his life was what he wanted it to be, or if he desired more.

_**To be continued…**_


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 15**

"Hello?"

_**Hey, 'Fei!**_

Wufei winced as he held the phone away from his ear but the din still projected. By the time he dared to bring the phone back to his ear Duo was mid sentence.

_**---so we're having this party with the kids and the parents. Isn't that great?**_

"Duo, please. Tell me again, only at a decibel level suitable for humans."

Duo chuckled as he made his way out of the boisterous party room and down the hall to a quieter location.

_**Sorry about that. Is this better?**_

"Much. Now tell me this obviously wonderful news."

_**We're having a celebration and farewell party. Three of the children were adopted last week.**_

"Three? Wow, that's truly wonderful news, congratulations."

_**Thanks. So how's life treating you these oh so many months you've been too busy to call me?**_

Wufei scoffed at Duo's not so subtle hint. _I deserve it. I don't think we've talked in almost three months. I've been so busy with work_. After his mission with Heero went off without a glitch and he informed Lady Une he would be willing to do colonies work again, Wufei found himself flying off into space, Heero usually by his side, on a regular basis. _And then there's Jason. If I'm not sleeping or working, I'm trying to spend time with him_. This last thought darkened Wufei's mood slightly and when he spoke it trickled through.

"Not nearly as well as you."

_**Oh, come on. How's Jason? And didn't you get some new guy to boss around? I know how much you love to harass fresh meat.**_

Wufei couldn't bring himself to chuckle, but a wry smile did curve his lips.

"I haven't done any permanent damage."

_**You've mellowed through the years. So c'mon, tell me what's going on with you.**_

Wufei wanted to talk to Duo about his problems, but he didn't want to deflate the ebullient man.

"I've been working in the colonies a lot lately so I really haven't had time to do anything worth reporting. Sorry. I'll keep living vicariously through you."

_**Colonies? But I thought you quit that so you and Jason could spend more time together. He can't be happy about this.**_

"It's not his decision! And I hardly see him enough anyway for him to voice his displeasure!"

_**Whoa, whoa, I'm not the enemy here.**_

Wufei huffed and ran a hand through his hair in aggravation and stared at the empty living room, his eyes invariably falling on his favorite print.

"Sorry. Jason and I…I don't know. Let's not talk about this right now."

Normally Duo would have pressed the matter until Wufei caved, but after his little outburst he thought it best to let the subject drop for another day.

_**Yeah…all right. Oh! If you're doing colonies work, have you seen Heero lately? He's shunning me for some reason too.**_

Wufei couldn't help the smile and his improved mood came through when he spoke, much to Duo's relief.

"I see him quite frequently. He's usually involved in my missions since his concentration is the colonies. Even though he's not a field agent anymore, he's always with me thanks to those damnable ear pieces."

_**So he whispers sweet nothings in your ear, huh?**_

Wufei felt his cheeks blaze at Duo's teasing.

"Shut up, Maxwell. I swear I don't know why I tolerate you sometimes."

_**Because you love me.**_

Wufei just scoffed and approached the mantle, his fingertips gently running along the top of the wooden frame protecting the print Heero gave him for his birthday.

_**Well, even if you hate me, I'm happy you and Heero are getting along again. He was really worried you wouldn't accept him in your life again.**_

Wufei's brows furrowed at Duo's choice of words. _My life? Is he really "in my life"?_

"I could never hate you and you know it. And as for Heero…hm, yes. I suppose he is a part of my life again."

Wufei's lips quirked into a lopsided grin.

"Who'd have thought."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

About four months into their relationship, Wufei took a picture of Jason as he lay in bed. His green eyes sparkled and he had an impish grin as he lay on his side looking into the camera. Wufei had it framed and placed it on the nightstand on Jason's side of the bed, telling his boyfriend that he kept it there so he wouldn't forget what he looked like since they spent so much time apart. He could see the comment had hurt Jason a little and so a week later he had presented Jason with a similar picture of himself for his own apartment. It was in a silver frame with the words "thinking of you" engraved on the bottom.

_I should have seen it as a sign, but I just couldn't turn him away. I do love him, but I can't take it anymore. I may be acting childish and selfish but I want someone to come home to. I shouldn't feel like the mistress he occasionally graces with his presence when he wants to escape the job he's married to._

He thought back on all the bundles of flowers and late night dessert deliveries from his favorite bakery down the street as Jason tried to make up for his wayward presence.

_But I would trade it all to spend time with him. I know he warned me from the start, but….._

Wufei sighed and ran his fingers through his hair once again in frustration as he braced himself for what he was about to do. _Assuming he actually shows up. How ironic would it be that the night I decide to break up with him, he gets called into work?_ _**Again**_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

From the moment Jason walked into the dimly lit apartment and saw Wufei curled up on the sofa, he knew something was wrong. _He only curls up like that when something's wrong._ _Did I forget something important again? Or maybe it's one of his friends_?

"Hey."

Wufei lifted his head just a fraction and looked up to see Jason standing at the end of the sofa.

"Hey."

"Sorry I'm late. The freeway was shut down both ways due to an accident."

"Why didn't you call?"

Jason made his way over to sit on the floor in front of Wufei's head. He brushed some hair from the onyx eyes and gave him a tender kiss.

"I ended up helping with the injured. All the traffic and the rain delayed the emergency vehicles."

"That explains why you're soaking my carpet."

Wufei offered a small smile as he squeezed a lock of Jason's hair and watched the tiny stream of water spill out over his fingers.

"You should see my car."

Wufei sat up and took in the full sight of Jason. _He looks awful_.

"You need to get out of those clothes."

Wufei shooed Jason away but Jason remained and just gazed at Wufei. He looked deeply into the onyxes and saw a sadness dulling the normally sparkling eyes.

"Hey, is everything all right?"

Wufei's smile fell a fraction.

"Why do you ask?"

"You were….it's going to sound stupid but whenever you curl into yourself, something is wrong."

Wufei was touched that Jason would know such a thing about him and it made the ache in his heart all the worse. _Maybe I should wait until tomorrow. He's soaking wet and no doubt exhausted_.

"I wanted to talk to you tonight about something but it can wait until the morning. Let's get you into some dry clothes before you catch a cold."

Jason grabbed hold of both Wufei's hands within his own damp hands and held tight, a sudden sense of nervous dread rearing its head in his stomach.

"No. Tell me now. Please."

Wufei took in the soggy man kneeling before him with expectant eyes and he sighed in defeat. _He's right. I shouldn't wait. There is no right moment_.

"I've been thinking about the future a lot lately."

Wufei bowed his head when he saw the rosy hue seeping into Jason's cheeks. _I can't face him_.

"I….I can't handle this anymore."

"Handle what?"

Wufei looked up at the firm inquisitive voice. Gone was the blush, and now Wufei faced a determined man.

"We're fooling ourselves thinking there is an 'us'. We're simply two people who connect once in awhile when our schedules allow."

"You share some of the blame too. Your schedule has gotten worse since you started back at the colonies and got that promotion."

Jason stood up, letting go of Wufei's hands in favor of pacing the living room. He felt guilty for throwing Wufei's job in his face, but it was the truth. _What the hell! I knew he wasn't thrilled with our schedules, but….I had no idea. Or did I_? _He didn't seem worried about working in the colonies again. I should have said something then and there, but I didn't want to sound like I was trying to dictate his work. _

Wufei nodded his head, accepting the truth of the statement.

"You're right. And I don't see it getting better anytime soon. I….I'm sorry…I want more."

Jason stopped pacing and gazed down at the man he loved as he slowly approached and reached down to caress a warm, smooth cheek.

"I'm sorry too." _I really do love you_. "But I understand. My life is hectic and I know I don't make it any easier." _You should have left me ages ago before I started to fall into the dream….we talked about the future…._.

Wufei stared up at the kind, sad eyes. _That's it? He's not going to argue with me? Put up any resistance? Declare he doesn't want to lose me_?

Jason wanted to grab Wufei and shake some sense into him; tell him he loved him and didn't want to lose him, but he couldn't seem to move. _I can tell he's upset about this and me getting upset isn't going to help him at all. I should just turn away and leave right now. All I'm doing is hurting him and he deserves happiness and someone who can be there for him everyday_.

Jason sighed and hung his head, resigned to his fate, but hoping for one last thing. _I'm so god damned selfish_.

"May I….." Jason gazed into the black pools, wanting to drown. "….stay….tonight?"

Wufei gazed into the green eyes and found his throat had closed up from the pain he was trying to keep from coming through and so he reached out and entwined his fingers with Jason's and led him back to the bedroom.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason lay there in the comfort of Wufei's arms and the soft bedding, trying to harness the strength he needed to get up and leave Wufei behind for good. He kept telling himself not to fall in love with the fiery young man, but his heart simply wouldn't listen.

"I think I may have loved you before we even had our first date."

A sharp pain spiked in his chest and Jason closed his eyes.

_I have to do this. Even if I convince him to give me another chance, I'll only end up hurting him again_.

Jason eventually managed to slip out of Wufei's embrace without disturbing his sleep and quietly he left the apartment, unaware of the growing wet spot on Wufei's pillow as he listened to the hushed sounds of Jason leaving.

_**To be continued….**_


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 16**

_**So how bad is he?**_

"How bad is who? What are you talking about?"

_**You don't know? Wufei broke up with Jason about a week ago.**_

"He….? But I thought they were…serious."

Duo sighed and shook his head. When he spoke, Heero heard a rare sadness in it.

_**They were. But Wufei couldn't handle being low man on the totem pole. Jason's job kept him away a lot**_.

Heero just sat there, stunned.

"But…Wufei is at work a lot too, and sometimes he just comes to my office and hangs out instead of going home. But I've been away on L7 and haven't seen him in days."

_**Would you mind doing some spying for me? He left some lame ass message saying he'd broken up with Jason but hasn't returned any of my calls and I'm really worried about him. I know he initiated the breakup, but I don't think it was the right move**_. _**Jason is a good guy and they love each other. 'Fei is just being selfish and stupid. I don't know why, but he is.**_

Heero had to admit, Wufei's decision was a bit extreme and unexpected, even seen through the eyes of his best friend. _I saw him before I left for L7 and he seemed perfectly normal. Is he that good at hiding his pain or were his feelings not as strong as Duo thought? _

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei stepped from the elevator and slowly made his way to his apartment door. He used to love his apartment. Now he dreaded coming home. It made him feel lonely and there were still ghosts haunting him from the happy times spent with Jason. _Maybe I'll just move. A fresh start might do me some good_.

Wufei put the key in the door and as he walked into his apartment his foot hit something. He looked down to see a small brown package sitting in the middle of his doorway. _How did I miss that? Gods, I'm really out of it_. He bent down and picked it up before retreating into his apartment. Without another glance to the box Wufei tossed it on the sofa and made his way back to his bedroom.

After showering, Wufei decided he better eat something just to make the headache go away. _When was the last time I ate? Yesterday afternoon maybe_? Not really caring, Wufei rummaged in his cabinets and fridge, pulling out various ingredients to make a simple dinner.

It wasn't long before Wufei sat down at his table with a plate of food and a steaming bowl of soup. He picked up his spoon and then froze, staring down at his food. Then he looked at the table and frowned. _It's so…..empty_. He looked down at his food again, suddenly not hungry. He sighed as he left his food behind and walked over to throw himself on the sofa with a sigh.

"Ow!"

Wufei sat up, holding the back of his head and looked over to see the small brown package from earlier, now sporting a small dent. He picked it up and noticed it was hand addressed and delivered. _No postage, no return address. Who would be sending me something_?

He carefully opened the box to find a very familiar-looking canister. He pulled the rectangular canister out and turned it around in his hand, trying to remember how long it had been since he'd seen one. It was black with a simple golden border and a red dragon on one side. He opened the canister and inhaled deeply, the strong cinnamon and spice scent tickling his senses.

"But who sent it?"

Wufei looked in the box and finally saw a small folded piece of paper.

_**Heard you needed a pick-me-up.**_

_**I remember this usually helped.**_

_**Heero**_

Wufei stared dumbfounded at the simple note scribbled hastily on the piece of paper. _How did he even know about this? Where did he find it? And how much did he pay for it_?!

This last thought brought Wufei out of his shock and he picked the canister up again and examined it, looking for a clue as to the cost or source, but found nothing but a pristine canister.

"I can't believe this."

He got up and went into the kitchen and prepared water for his tea. As he waited he went back out into the open space that was his combined living room and dining room and saw his abandoned dinner. _Maybe I am a little hungry after all_.

When Wufei sat down at the table again, his food had been reheated and a steaming cup of crimson tea was clasped reverently in his hands. _My god, this really is like an elixir of strength for me. Thank you, Heero. This is just what I needed_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hello?"

_**Hello, Heero. I hope it's ok that I'm calling you this late.**_

"I, yeah. H-how are you?"

_**I'm all right. I was calling about the tea. It really helped, thank you.**_

"You're welcome."

_**And I insist that you allow me to pay for it. I know how rare it is.**_

"There's no need. I'm just glad that you're feeling better."

There was silence on the phone for a few seconds and just as Heero was about to say something, Wufei's quiet voice broke through.

_**I assume Duo told you what happened.**_

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I know you…."

Heero cleared his throat and tried again. Even though he'd tried like hell to be supportive of Wufei's relationship, it still hurt to think of Wufei with anyone.

"Duo told me…I know how important he was to you. It must have been very difficult."

_**I…..love him.**_

Heero swallowed the lump in his throat, but his voice still came out sounding like a strangled whisper.

"He's very lucky."

_**Heh, yeah...lucky. **_

Wufei coughed, and then halfheartedly chuckled.

_**Anyway, I just called to say thanks**__. __**I don't want to keep you**_.

"I don't mind. Keep me as long as you like."

Heero realized how his statement sounded and he was about to explain himself but Wufei's quiet voice sounded in his ear, lighter in tone and carrying the hint of a smile.

_**Thank you for that. Goodnight, Heero.**_

"G-goodnight."

Heero disconnected the call but held the phone clasped tightly in both hands and pressed it against his forehead as he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. _If you love him so much, why did you leave him? You are obviously devastated by the breakup, which you initiated. What drove you to such a decision_?

_**To be continued…**_


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 17**

Wufei heard his phone ring and looked at the LCD screen and smiled. _Might as well face the musi_c.

"Hello."

_**Hello yourself. So I'm finally worthy enough to speak to, huh?**_

Wufei sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose at Duo's rightfully snide tone. But that didn't stop him from responding in kind as he made his way back to his bedroom, basket of laundry held at his hip.

"Not really. I'm merely placating you."

_**Asshole.**_

Wufei let out a quiet noise, halfway between a chuckle and a sigh, and was relieved when Duo's voice had its normal warm tone.

_**So how are you doing?**_

Wufei smirked as he placed a basket piled high with clean laundry on his bed and started to sort and fold. He'd been avoiding Duo's calls for about two weeks, trying to work through his emotions and the breakup. He felt guilty for it, but hated appearing weak in front of anyone, even his best friend.

But strangely enough he'd shown his vulnerability to Heero over the phone and after the unexpected confession of admitting he loved Jason, he felt better. His appetite returned and he slept through the night.

"I'm just fine. Same old, same old."

'_**Fei.**_

The voice was stern, holding Duo's impatience for Wufei's attempt to avoid talking about himself. _So he's not going to humor me today. Hm_. Wufei sighed and braced himself for the discussion he'd been trying to avoid.

"I'm better now. I know I shouldn't have avoided you, and I am sorry, but I just needed time to sort through everything, get back into my rhythm."

_**Heero says you've been working a lot lately. Is your rhythm to be a workaholic?**_

"Your spy is a bit of a hypocrite, don't you think? I've always worked a lot, that's nothing new."

_**What about when you just hang out with Heero while he works himself into the ground? You two are quite the pair, you know that?**_

Wufei could feel his indignation ignite but at Duo's last words it left him and his cheeks blazed as he heard his own voice echoing in his head, speaking the very same sentiment to Heero during their first mission together after being reunited. _Heero and I are similar creatures. I suppose that's why he's been tolerating my presence so much. He understands_.

"You're right. We're both using each other as crutches and I should put a stop to it."

_**I'm not saying stop hanging out together. Just do it like normal people. Go bowling or to the movies or dinner or something.**_

Wufei scoffed as he folded a t-shirt and tossed it on the bed.

"Sounds like you're telling me to date him."

_**No, what I'm telling you to do is go have the social life you wanted and stop working all the time. You're no better off than before you broke up with Jason. Do you really not see that?**_

Wufei felt his stomach come alive with butterflies and he stared ahead, not seeing. _He's…right. There's nothing in my life now but work and…Heero. Does he realize what I've been doing or is he just as oblivious_?

The prolonged silence assured Duo Wufei understood his words and his worry began to dissipate. _Now maybe he can finally start to be happy again. And who knows? Maybe he'll realize what a mistake he made by leaving Jason_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei felt a strong resolve to confront Heero about both their escapist behaviors after his conversation with Duo. _It's not healthily for either one of us_. As he formulated his plan as to how best to approach Heero, he put away the last remnants of his clean clothes. But all thought and action came to a screeching halt when Wufei pushed aside a section of clothes in his closet to make way for the clean clothes he needed to hang. He stared at the simple shirt hanging in his closet, and eventually pulled it from its hanger and backed up to sit on his bed, the unassuming garment clasped in his hands.

The shirt itself was not Wufei's style at all. It was a simple raglan with black sleeves and a white torso with the hospital's name written across it in flowing script. Jason had told him when he first started working at the hospital he was coerced into playing two seasons of softball. Wufei could picture Jason playing softball easily, but apparently he hated it, and only did it to get to know the staff.

The shirt was made of the softest material Wufei had ever encountered and he loved the feel of it, practically molesting Jason the entire day the first time he wore it in front of Wufei as something to wear in on a quiet Sunday. After that day, Wufei had claimed it as his own and Jason seemed willing to let him have it, happy even. Wufei would always curse himself for acting like a status-driven teenaged girl wanting her boyfriend's jersey but as soon as he put it on, all bad thoughts went away.

The shirt was a bit loose on him than he would normally wear since Jason's build was a bit wider and thicker than his own, but Wufei loved the shirt nonetheless and wore it constantly in the winter.

_Damn it, I should send this back._

He clutched it in his fists and brought it up to his face, burying himself in the soft fabric.

_But he did give it to me. He hasn't worn it since that day I saw him in it. But how can I wear this, knowing where it came from?_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason sat down in the leather swivel chair with a tired groan, his muscles aching and head pounding. He hadn't realized how long he'd been going until Ms. Dorothy snatched a patient's chart from his hands and insisted that he take at least an hour break before retuning to his duties.

He rubbed his eyes and they immediately watered up and burned.

_Ugh. I shouldn't have stopped. Now it's going to kill me to start again_.

With a weary sigh he reached out and popped open a bottle of iced tea, drinking deeply before turning his attention to the plastic wrapped vending machine fare sitting on his desk.

The choices had been surprisingly abundant, so he chose a pack of wheat crackers with cheese and a bag of frosted oatmeal cookies. As he ripped open the crackers he heard Wufei's voice echo in his head and he stopped, cracker mid-way to his mouth.

"_How can a doctor have such poor eating habits?"_

He couldn't count the number of times Wufei admonished him about his poor nutritional choices, but every time he felt loved.

"…_I want to make sure you stick around for a long time….and if you don't eat properly…"_

Jason let the cracker drop to the desk and he sat back, staring blankly at the ceiling. Over the past month he'd tried to banish Wufei from his heart, telling himself he was doing it for Wufei's own good, that Wufei would be happier without him. But that thought was little comfort when he came home to an empty apartment and laid down in a cold bed.

_He was the first…..I really thought he was my future….._

_**To be continued…**_


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 18**

Heero was sitting in front of his wall of computer monitors, all manner of information and surveillance video showing. He was the type of person who had no problems working late if it meant getting the job done before he went home, and tonight was no exception. However Heero had an ulterior motive for his late hours this evening. He glanced at the clock, tapped a few keys and one of the monitors switched from text to a live picture of a hanger. It was surprisingly lively for 11:36pm and Heero smiled. _He's back_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei made his way to his car, not in his normal steady and confident stride, but in slow, weary steps, indicating his total exhaustion. _But at least I'm home_.

He pressed the button on his key fob and lights flashed and a chirp sounded, giving brief life to the otherwise quiet and dark night.

"Wufei?"

As Wufei dumped his bag in the trunk he looked towards the voice to see Heero headed his way. He closed the trunk and leaned against the car, arms crossed over his chest.

"Did you just get back?"

"Yes, and I'm exhausted. But I'm also curious. What the hell are you doing here so late?"

Heero shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets. Before Wufei left for his mission that would keep him away from home for over a week, he warned Heero to keep to their promise of not working more than fifty-five hours a week. When it was initially instituted it had been surprisingly easy for them to honor the agreement since they each had the other to police their activities. But the day Wufei left Heero worked for fourteen hours straight and allowed himself to fall back into his old habits.

"I tried, all right? Did _you_ keep to the agreement?"

Wufei pushed off the car and headed for the driver's side door. He opened the door and then turned to Heero, a smirk curving his lips and softening his eyes.

"I tried, all right?"

The pair chuckled and Wufei easily slid into his car, not surprised to see Heero at his window when he started the engine. Once the window was lowered Heero leaned down, hand gripping the window ledge.

"Seems to me we're even. So tomorrow we'll go back to following the rules."

Wufei met the sparkling gaze aimed at him and heard the slight tease in Heero's voice, but mostly he heard sincerity. _I suppose neither one of us does a very good job of taking care of ourselves without the other watching our actions._

"Sounds good. Goodnight, Heero."

"Goodnight, Wufei."

Heero turned and started towards his own car, a smile on his lips and a pleasant heat to his cheeks. _Small steps, small steps_…..

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heero heard the knock and before he could look up and see who was visiting him, he found himself in a strong grip and being forcefully dragged from his workstation.

"Wufei? What's---?"

"Just come with me."

"Where? What's up? You seem---"

"_I am_ which is why it's wise for you to be quiet and just come along peacefully."

Even though it was Wufei seemingly hijacking him for heaven only knew what purposes, Heero yanked himself free and fixed Wufei with a stern look, arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm not going any further until you tell me what the hell is going on."

Wufei recognized the look in Heero's eye and knew there would be no getting around it. _I wouldn't put up with this behavior from him either. _Wufei huffed and crossed his arms over his chest to match Heero's stance.

"I am no longer able to deal with the level of absurdity that calls itself the Mission Budgetary Committee. I tried going to the firing range to let off some steam but I find I still want to put bullets through their heads."

Heero scoffed and his pressed lips loosened up to a smirk.

"Don't like being told 'no', huh? It might help if you smiled and said 'please'."

The pair stood in the hallway in a deadlock until Wufei sighed and hung his head, letting his hands fall to his sides.

"Will you _please_ accompany me so I may take out my frustrations and complain to you before I lose my job?"

Wufei looked up, a smile on his face and Heero's eyes went wide at the look. It was genuine, but it had a hint of malice and Heero could only let his own smirk widen.

"Now was that so hard?"

Wufei's smile disappeared and he turned on his heel and headed down the hallway at a steady clip, Heero following behind him. _He's upset and he came to me_.

"So where are we going?"

"Out."

Heero raised an eyebrow at the uncharacteristically vague answer. When they left the building and headed in the direction of the parking lot, Heero spoke up again.

"Are we…leaving for the day?"

Wufei looked to Heero, his derisive smile back in place.

"Scared, Yuy?"

Heero scoffed and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"So you're telling me that the man who puts my planning to shame is going to wing it?"

Wufei unlocked his car and looked to Heero over the hood of his car, suddenly serious.

"I'll understand if you want me to bring you back. But I need to not be here right now and just…be with my friend."

Heero felt a flutter in his gut and his throat closed up, so he just nodded to Wufei and ducked into the car.

The rest of the afternoon was uneventful with the pair spending a few hours in a diner just chatting about whatever topic came up, and then playing a few games of pool before Wufei dropped Heero back off at work.

"Thank you for today. I hope I didn't put you too far behind."

"Not possible. And even if it were I don't care. I may be a workaholic, but you will always come first."

Wufei felt a nervous flutter in his stomach at Heero's honesty and as much as he wanted to tell Heero he felt the same way, he couldn't seem to form any words. They'd managed to work through their past and forge a new, strong friendship which Wufei was grateful to have. _We've both changed through the years, but he's much more open with his feelings than I ever thought possible_.

Before Wufei could mutter any sort of response Heero smirked and got out of the car. It took a few seconds but Wufei finally regained his senses and he got out of his car, standing behind the door as if it were his shield.

"Heero!"

Heero had already made it halfway to the building and he stopped on the lengthy stairway and looked back to Wufei.

"I just wanted to say…"

_What do I want to say? Glad we're friends? You've become important to me? Thanks for putting up with me these past few months_?

As Wufei's silence dragged on Heero recounted a few steps but stopped when Wufei found his voice again.

"I want you to know I'm grateful. For our friendship…for…you."

Heero watched as Wufei offered a sheepish grin and a small wave before sliding back into his car and driving away. He stood on the steps and watched until the red taillights disappeared. _Grateful? For me_? Heero's lips curved ever so slightly and he could feel his chest tighten in a pleasurable way. _Grateful. Hm…it's a good start_.

_**To be continued…**_


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 19**

"You look much better, Jason."

The younger surgeon smiled as he closed the office door behind him and sat down across from his mentor and boss. It felt good to be back at the hospital after a month long absence.

"Thanks. I feel a lot better too."

"Have you dealt with your problem yet?"

Jason's smile faltered and he ran his fingers through his hair.

"N-no, but I have a plan. And the first step is to get myself back on my feet and start working again."

"I see. Well, I've met with the board and several of the surgeons and the head of the research project and everyone is in agreement. You are officially the head of the surgical team here and nothing else."

"Thank you, John. Although I feel like I've let everyone down."

"Nonsense. We asked too much of you and I share some of that blame. As much as you and I and everyone else would like to think, you are not Superman. The human body can only take so much. And it will tolerate even less with a broken heart."

Jason scoffed and dropped his head. He'd come to that conclusion as well. But not until his forced leave of absence when he tried to figure out what to do with his time and invariably he would think about what he would be doing if he were at work. It was a sobering realization.

"So what's this brilliant plan of yours?"

"First step was to get my job in order. Second is to take a cooking class. Third is---"

"Stop. A cooking class?"

Jason half scoffed, half chuckled as he looked up to meet his boss's gaze with rosy cheeks.

"Oh, yeah, well I can't cook worth a damn and I promised Wufei I'd cook him dinner for his birthday and I don't want to poison him."

John nodded approvingly, obviously amused at Jason's plan.

"Anyway, after I have everything in order I'm going to go see him. The final step is begging."

"I wish you luck. Everyone should have someone to come home to; their safe harbor."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heero lay on the sofa debating whether the soft tapping he heard was part of a fever-induced dream or just another headache manifesting itself. Suddenly a familiar voice called out to him and he opened his eyes obediently.

"Open up, Heero! I know you're in there!"

Heero slowly sat up and waited for the room to stop spinning before he got to his feet and shuffled to the door. He opened it to see glinting onyx eyes and a fierce scowl.

"It took you long enough."

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Commander Chang?"

Ever since being promoted to Commander, Heero had taken to addressing him as such upon occasion, both knowing full well it was a jape between friends. And Wufei would have smiled at the moniker if Heero didn't look like hell and sound almost lifeless.

"I'm here to take care of you since you seem unable to handle the task yourself."

Heero's eyes opened fully in surprise but Wufei just ignored him as he pushed past the sick man and entered the unfamiliar apartment. He went straight to the small kitchen with two bags in hand and by the time Heero recovered enough from his shock and made his way to the kitchen, Wufei had already put away the contents with the exception of a small brown bottle.

"Wufei…what are you doing here?"

"You're sick. I'm here to take care of you."

Heero's mouth just hung open and he was barely aware that Wufei was holding a spoon close to his face.

"Just take it, damn it."

Heero blinked out of his daze and swallowed the spoonful of mystery liquid without question. He grimaced as the liquid burned down his throat.

"Ugh, what did you just give me?"

Wufei's scowl deepened as he handed Heero a glass of water which was gratefully chugged.

"Basically it is flu medication mixed with whiskey. Specifically I couldn't tell you. I bought it from a Chinese medicine shop. It works really well so I've learned not to question its ingredients."

Wufei ignored Heero's bug-eyed gaze and walked past him out into the living room which looked like Heero had been camped out in for at least a few days, his coffee table littered with tissue balls, an open bag of halls, a half empty glass of water and a bowl full of orange peels. _That sofa looks lumpy and uncomfortable. Why isn't he in bed_?

"It's freezing in here."

"I'm warm."

Wufei looked to Heero who was standing there dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, trying to look as if he were crossing his arms over his chest but Wufei could see that in actuality he was hugging himself. _What a stubborn fool_.

"You have a _fever._ When's the last time you bathed?"

"Excuse me? Do I smell or something?"

Heero brought a sleeve up to his nose and sniffed, not thinking he couldn't smell anything.

"No, you don't stink. Yet. Come. I'll prepare a bath."

"You'll--? Uh, Wufei?"

Heero followed Wufei like a helpless child, his half-formed pleas falling on deaf ears as Wufei filled the tub with steaming hot water and a fine powder from a plastic bottle.

"Should I even ask?"

"Nope."

Wufei stood up and met Heero's gaze, smiling sympathetically. He knew that if Heero called in sick, a fact he discovered from a flabbergasted coworker in the tech division when he sought Heero out for lunch, the man had to be deathly ill. _He looks so pathetic it's almost adorable_.

"Make sure to sit low enough to soak your chest for about twenty minutes. Then take a quick shower while I prepare some food."

Wufei was closing the bathroom door behind him when Heero grabbed the door, halting his exit. He looked to Heero questioningly but saw it was Heero who had the question.

"Because you are my friend, fool."

Wufei saw the amazement in Heero's face before he shut the door and he walked down the hallway shaking his head and chuckling. _You fool, you shouldn't be surprised_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Well?"

Jason stood at the desk, eyeing each one of the nurses expectantly. For their part the four women stood there, eyeing each other and looking as if they were having a silent, private conversation.

Finally, they all nodded and Dorothy fixed Jason with her penetrating eyes and he felt his stomach twist in knots. _Shit_. _This doesn't look good_.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that you haven't poisoned any of us. Congratulations, doctor."

"Well, ok, that's good. But how did it _taste_?"

"You're not very comfortable cooking, are you?"

"No."

"Did you follow the recipe?"

"Exactly as printed."

"Hm, yes, that's where you went wrong."

"Wha-?"

"Recipes are guidelines."

"You should have added more cream."

"And some white pepper would have livened it up."

"Oh, yeah, that would be good. And you know what would compliment this dish? A tomato and cucumber salad."

"I haven't made that in ages."

"And don't forget the tastes of the person you're cooking for. That's very important."

"But I don't--"

"I applaud you for what you're doing. I wish my husband would learn to cook."

"Hey, have you tried grilling something? Men are always good at grilling."

Jason's head swam as he listened to the barrage of comments from the nurses, half of which weren't even aimed at him. He took a hesitant step back, hoping not to attract their attention and escape, but Dorothy's sharp eyes caught him and he froze.

"Doctor Ziegler, where are you going?"

"I was just….trying to escape?"

He offered an innocent smile but Dorothy was having none of it.

"You asked for our help, did you not?"

"Yes I did."

Jason resigned himself and sighed in defeat and approached the nurses' station. As he stood there and listened to the nurses go on and on about how cooking should be done, what would have made the food better, and the various talents and failings of their husbands and boyfriends, he kept repeating his mantra in his head: _Wufei is worth it. Wufei is worth it. Wufei is worth it_.

_**To be continued….**_


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 20**

"I said move, gods damn it!"

Wufei screamed at the pilot and felt the force of the ship as it accelerated even faster.

_You will not die_.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead with a bloody hand and continued his ministrations. He'd already tied a piece of cloth on Heero's arm to staunch the bleeding, but the gunshot wounds in his upper chest, close to his shoulder, and his lower midsection wouldn't stop bleeding.

"More, now!"

A nearby soldier quickly handed Wufei clean bandages as Wufei tossed the bloody ones to another soldier.

_You will not die_.

Wufei had found Heero about one hundred yards from their meeting sight. He'd been late and Heero was never late. Against the advice of the team, Wufei went back out to look for him. He found him lying face-down, halfway under a bush, no doubt trying to pull himself under the foliage as a hiding place. When Wufei reached Heero he was barely conscious and most of his clothes were stained with blood. _I never should have let him go. It wasn't his job. You gods cursed stubborn fool_!

Wufei growled as he remembered arguing with Heero that he was only in the Tech Division now so he did not see combat situations. Wufei recalled the wry smile and glittering eyes as Heero said arrogantly, _"I'm a better soldier than anyone on this mission. __**Anyone**__."_

_I should have stopped you. But that smile and those words…it was like years ago….we constantly challenged each other and our friendship and skills thrived from the battles. I felt that burning in my gut ignite. But I should have known better. Things…people….are different now….I was foolish. So very foolish. And now…now you might_…

Wufei growled again as he fought to keep his anger under control.

_You will not die_.

"Sir, you really should get that---"

"What I need is for this piece of junk to move faster!"

Wufei didn't even look up at the soldier; his gaze fixed on Heero. His eyelids were fluttering, which Wufei took as a good sign. _He's not completely unconscious_.

"Bring me a blanket!"

A standard brown issue blanket came his way and he quickly settled it over Heero. _He needs to stay warm. He's loosing a lot of blood_.

Wufei smashed his fist into the side of the transport, startling the four soldiers around him.

_You will not die_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When they landed on the roof of the hospital, medical staff were already waiting with a gurney. Wufei helped to move Heero onto the gurney and began running with the medical teaming, explaining everything he knew. Three gunshot wounds: high right on the chest, right arm, and lower midsection; severe loss of blood, time between injuries and arrival, and even Heero's blood type. As they approached the surgery room someone grabbed Wufei's bicep and he winced.

"You can't go in there, sir. You'll have to---"

Wufei yanked his arm free and whirled on the unsuspecting man.

"I will damn well go where I please! That man in there---"

"You're injured!"

Ignoring Wufei's rant, the doctor approached him, examining his shoulder.

"You've been shot. You have to come with me."

Wufei pushed the doctor away easily with one hand.

"I'm fine! I need to be in _there_!"

"Sir, if you continue to be difficult I'll have to call security."

Wufei stepped towards the young man, eyes glinting dangerously as he pulled his gun and cocked it, but left it hanging at his side.

"_I dare you_."

The shocked man just stood there, shaking and going pale. He watched, unable to move or shout, as Wufei turned and walked towards the surgery unit, smoothly holstering his gun.

"Wufei, stop! Wufei!"

Suddenly a voice was heard screaming down the hallway and at first the doctor thought it was security, and feared for his life as Wufei stopped and turned around.

"Wufei! Please stop!"

Wufei heard his name being screamed and knew who it was so he wasn't surprised to see Jason running towards him, cheeks red, eyes panicked. He was being followed by three other doctors. He watched as Jason turned to the woman to his left and spoke to her. They all looked very serious and the woman just nodded in acknowledgment and a small breeze hit Wufei's face as the woman and two men raced past him and through the surgical doors. Jason came to a halt, breathless.

"Please, let us do our job, Wufei. I'll come to you immediately, I promise."

Wufei looked into the green eyes and knew he could trust Jason. _I have faith in him_.

"I'll be waiting _right here_."

He kept his voice from cracking but it was low and had lost its edge. Jason nodded and disappeared through the doors. Wufei stood there, just staring forward at the scared doctor.

"I apologize."

Wufei turned and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding to the floor, leaving a bloody, dirty trail on the wall in his wake. He winced as he took off his vest and shirt, tossing them aside. The doctor watched in horrified fascination as Wufei examined his shoulder briefly, reached into a pocket on his vest retrieving a pair of giant sized tweezers, and then began digging in the wound. A few moments later he tossed the bullet and the tweezers onto his clothes and sat there panting. It took a few moments for the stars to clear from his vision, but when they did, he looked to the doctor still standing frozen a few feet away.

"I'll need some clean bandages and something to clean the wound with. Bring some needle and thread too."

And with that Wufei rested his head against the wall with a tired sigh and stared up at the tiled ceiling. It only took the young doctor a few moments to regain himself and race off to get the items Wufei requested.

_You will not die_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason approached the doors tired, achy, and yet anxious. He knew Wufei would be on the other side of those doors. He just hoped it wasn't in handcuffs.

Jason emerged from the surgical unit to find Wufei waiting for him. But he didn't expect to find him asleep against the wall, shirtless, and with fresh bandages on his shoulder and hand. _Did I know he was injured_?

He slowly approached the sleeping man and squatted down to his level, and then brushed some dirt-dusted hair from his face. He took in the sight of Wufei, covered in dirt from head to toe, his face and hands and pants were smudged with blood. Jason regarded the pile of bloody clothes next to Wufei and he reached out, picking up the khaki shirt stained almost black in spots with drying blood. He saw the hole in the shirt and spikes of panic, relief, and guilt fought for dominance. He bowed his head and began breathing through his mouth as if winded. He held the shirt in both hands and brought it up to rest against his head.

There he remained until he heard a raspy noise. He swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and then lowered the shirt as he lifted his head to see Wufei staring at him with half-lidded eyes.

"How are you feeling?"

He didn't know why he whispered, other than it was all he could seem to muster at the moment.

"Tell….me."

Jason sighed and bowed his head again for a few seconds.

"Jason…"

Jason didn't look up, but he answered in a voice firm and loud enough for Wufei to hear.

"It doesn't look good. He lost a lot of blood, his ______ was damaged and twice during surgery his heart failed."

Jason met Wufei's gaze, his heart going out to his ex-boyfriend, even as he fought the urge to reach out and hold the man.

"I'm sorry, Wufei. I wish I could give you better news."

Wufei blinked slowly and looked away. He stared at the doors they took Heero through over five hours ago.

"May I see him?"

Jason reached out and helped Wufei up with a firm hand around his waist and Wufei's arm slung over his shoulders. When they were upright Jason turned to look at Wufei and he felt the spike again, but again he swallowed it and the impulse to pull the man into his arms.

"Come on."

Jason walked Wufei to the ICU and let him stand outside, looking in from the other side of the Plexiglas. He took off his white coat and put it on Wufei, the man allowing Jason to maneuver his arms as he simply remained staring forward.

Jason stayed with Wufei in the silent hallway until he decided he needed to get the quiet man talking. _He needs to talk about this. If he keeps it bottled up inside he'll_---

"It's my fault."

Wufei backed up until his back hit the wall and he slid down to the floor, his legs sliding out in front of him. Jason frowned. _He's too weak. He needs painkillers, probably some blood, and lots of rest_.

"I shouldn't have let him go. He's not field operations anymore. I should've never…."

Wufei closed his eyes and became very still. Jason cautiously approached and reached out a shaking hand, caressing Wufei's cheek.

"Wufei?"

A hand slipped down and checked his pulse. It was steady, strong. _He's asleep. Thank goodness_. Jason sat down on the floor, his back against the wall and he guided Wufei down, laying his head in his lap.

"Sleep, love. I'll watch over you."

Jason looked up to the ceiling, blinking his eyes rapidly while taking a deep breath to banish the spike of pain in his chest. _Not now. Not yet. He needs me_.

_**To be continued…**_


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 21**

Jason's internal clock sounded and he started awake. _Jeez, I'm wiped. But I have to check on Heero and get Wufei to consent to a medical exam_. He managed to delicately extricate himself and place Wufei's head on the ground with little more than a grunt from the passed out soldier. Then he silently made his way into Heero's room and checked the various machines' readouts, his frown deepening with each new sheet of paper.

"Hey."

Jason started at the small sound and he looked up from the chart to see half-lidded blue eyes regarding him. Jason offered a warm smile.

"Hi there."

Heero wasn't sure how much he was in his right mind because seeing those green eyes and warm smile aimed at him actually made him feel better. _Guess Wufei isn't so crazy after all._

"Wufei is just outside. I'll get him, but he--"

"No. Just….unplug everything."

Jason's eyes softened as he put the chart on the bed and sat down in the plastic chair at Heero's head.

"You and Wufei, you're….quite the pair. You think you can tell us doctors our job."

"I'm…no fool….I can feel my body….shutting down…."

Jason bowed his head and clasped his hands tightly. He understood what Heero wanted. He knew there was no real hope for him and that it was the machines keeping him alive. _Just like Wufei…so strong, even now_.

"Do you have a living will? Instructions to this effect?"

"If you don't…..I will….."

"Are you sure you don't want to say goodbye? He'll be devastated."

"Not…like this…"

Jason looked up at Heero's hazy gaze and he smiled, nodding his head. Then he stood up and started turning off the battery of machines.

"Stop! What the hell are you doing?!"

Wufei barged into the room and yanked Jason away, sending him into a nearby machine with a clatter.

"What kind of doctor are you?! You'll kill him!"

"Shut up."

Wufei turned wide eyes to the soft voice and saw Heero gazing at him with half-seeing eyes.

"Heero….what's going on?"

Wufei slowly approached the bed, not noticing Jason's retreat from the room.

"I told him….to do it…."

Wufei shook his head as he sat down on the bed.

"Don't be a fool. It'll take longer, but you'll recover."

"No….I know….Jason knows….I'm done…."

Wufei had subconsciously reached out and now clasped Heero's hand within his tightly as the pressure within his chest increased tenfold and his eyes welled up.

"My…..decision…..let me go….."

_Let him go? But it seems like he just came back to me. No. Unacceptable. I won't allow it_!

Suddenly all the emotions and pain that were building up within Wufei broke free and Wufei let everything come out full force.

"Gods damn it, Yuy! I accepted you back in my life! You can't leave me again! I'll never forgive you!"

Wufei's fiery tirade was loosing steam the more he looked into the cerulean eyes. They were always so defiant, strong. But now….

"You….can't die…until I give you permission. I'm your Commander damn it."

Heero offered a weak smile and blinked very slowly. _Damn it, he looks beautiful even when he's crying_.

"'fraid I'll….have to dis..obey."

"Heero…don't you _dare_….."

"I wish ….it could…have….been diff…rent….with…us…"

Heero reached up and shaky fingertips made contact with Wufei's damp cheek. Wufei pressed the hand against his face with his own.

"Don't leave….please…I'll be alone again."

"You…have…Jason…he loves…you……"

Wufei clamped his eyes shut and let his forehead rest against Heero's.

"I'll…al…ways…be…a pa..rt of…you."

Wufei let out a strangled noise and leaned up enough to look down at Heero, his eyes wide in realization. Then his face softened and he smiled through his sadness.

"Yes. You are a part of me. Always."

Heero closed his eyes and let out a tired sigh. His chest rose and fell a few more times, and then it just stopped. Heero never opened his eyes again and Wufei just let himself collapse on Heero, his anger and sadness washed away by exhaustion.

"Sweet dreams, Heero."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason stood outside the room and watched Wufei beg his friend not to die and then crying over his lifeless body. He stopped a nurse from entering the room.

"But doctor---"

"I'll take care of this. Please let John know I'll be unavailable for the next few days. He'll take care of everything."

"Yes, doctor."

The woman hesitantly left, looking back only once before doing as Jason requested. Jason stood there and watched for a few more minutes then backed up to the opposite wall and slid back down to the floor. He stared at the door and finally, he broke. He hugged his knees to his chest and cried. He cried because Wufei was crushed. He cried because it was a life he couldn't save. But mostly, he cried in relief. _It wasn't him. Thank you, god. He's safe. He's alive_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting on the floor, but he knew he'd dozed off again for a few moments. He stood up with a wince, the cold floor and wall not making the best support. He looked in the window and found Wufei still sitting on Heero's bed, leaning his body over so it was resting on Heero's, his face nestled at Heero's neck.

A glance at the clock told him he'd been on the floor for about a half hour. _I have to get him out of there_. He entered the room and gently called out.

"Wufei?"

No response. He closed in on the bed and reached out, a hand gently shaking Wufei's shoulder.

"Wufei?"

A groan was all he got as a response and then he cringed when he realized he just shook Wufei's injured shoulder.

Jason sighed and looked down at the pair. Heero looked peaceful in death. _He accepted it in the end. And I'm sure he was happy to have Wufei with him_.

Green eyes wandered to the other occupant and Jason frowned. _He's completely drained_. Wufei's face looked haggard and it was pinched, no doubt from Jason's error in shaking his injured shoulder. His hair was still crusted with dirt. _At least he let me put my coat on him_.

Jason looked up at the clock and sighed. _How am I going to do this_?

"Ja…son."

"I'm here."

Without thinking Jason reached out and brushed the back of his knuckles against Wufei's blood smeared cheek.

"I….want…to go home."

"Of course. I'll take you."

Jason reached out and helped Wufei to sit up and then began guiding Wufei to his feet, but Wufei pulled against Jason and looked down at Heero.

"Wufei, please. I have to get you---"

"I've never seen him look so peaceful."

Wufei's quiet voice was full of anguish and it quavered. Jason thought Wufei was going to refuse to leave but he turned to Jason and looked up at him with dead black eyes.

"I want to go home."

Jason helped Wufei to his feet and the pair slowly made their way out of the ICU room, down an access hallway and out the backdoor. Jason undraped Wufei from his shoulders and left him as he went to get his car. He didn't want to leave by any known exit, pubic or employee. He didn't want to have to explain his actions or have someone try and bully Wufei into staying at the hospital. _He's my only concern right now_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The car ride home was spent on the phone contacting the appropriate people to take care of Heero's body and then finally reaching Wufei's boss, Lady Une. She had informed him that she had contacted Duo and he was making the necessary calls. She inquired about Wufei and Jason told her of his injuries, but lied and said he'd sedated Wufei so he would rest.

Wufei just went along with Jason mechanically as he was guided into his apartment and to the bathroom. Jason stood with Wufei in the shower and washed him from head to toe. He examined Wufei's shoulder and decided it would keep until tomorrow and put fresh bandages on it; but decided his little lie to lady Une was actually a good idea, and so he gave Wufei a few painkillers. He guided Wufei into bed and instead of heading out to the sofa he remained rooted to the floor and could only stare at the sleeping man.

_I can't leave him. Why can't I walk out the door? He's safe and sleeping. He doesn't need me anymore. But…I need him_.

Willing to face whatever wrath Wufei would aim at him, Jason slipped onto the bed, staying on top of the covers, his body seeking out Wufei on its own accord. He wrapped his arms and legs around the strong lean body which seemed frail and small to him suddenly. He closed his eyes and let the exhaustion win over, quickly falling asleep as he once again murmured thanks that Wufei was alive and safe.

_**To be continued…**_


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

A/N – Well hello there! I'd like to thank those who have hung in there. I looked back and realized, **much to my horror**, that I started this story in April 2007. Yikes!

As such, I am posting the final chapters today, over three years later. This chapter ending might be a bit…off…but at least you know the next one is waiting for you, right?

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 22**

"Are you, uh, going to be ok with this?"

"I have to be."

Duo frowned and dropped his head nodding a few times and then sighed wearily. For the past four days, through all the memorial planning and proceedings, Duo had been by Wufei's side and he was truly worried for his best friend's mental and physical wellbeing. His shoulder was still tender and he refused to eat more than warm broth with a few crackers. His eyes were sunken and more than once Duo heard him cry out at night. And that was almost the extent of Wufei's verbal communication.

Quatre had tried desperately to get their friend talking but Wufei barely acknowledged his presence. It wasn't until Quatre started crying and shaking Wufei by the shoulders that Trowa and Duo interfered. But even the assault on his wounded shoulder didn't move Wufei to speak. He grimaced but bore his friend's desperate tirade.

The night of the funeral Duo told Wufei he had to leave the next day and was going to call for a nurse to come check on him, but Wufei had looked at him and merely said, "I want Jason." Duo tried to talk Wufei out of it but each time Wufei repeated his request so Duo gave in and called the good doctor.

And so Jason showed up confused, fearful, and yet grateful and Duo once again found himself becoming angry at Wufei for breaking up with him.

"You're a real glutton for punishment, aren't you?"

"Can't be helped; I love him." Duo felt his heart ache for the man with the lopsided grin full of sadness. "Besides, you need to get back home. I'm sure he'll be all right in a few days and then I'll be gone."

Both men winced at the word 'gone' and Jason ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath to banish the pain. He had been shocked when Duo called and said Wufei wanted him to stay while he recovered. The night Jason brought Wufei back and had, against his better judgment, stayed the night, he'd managed to get out of bed before Wufei woke up the next morning and found himself with company. Wufei didn't really talk to him the next morning, only a few answers, usually given because he didn't want something. Mostly he just sat on the sofa and just stared with dead black eyes. A few hours later Duo arrived and took over, thanking Jason for his help with an apologetic smile.

Jason couldn't understand why Wufei had asked for him; even Duo wasn't sure. But Jason was certain he didn't want to find out. _I don't want to hear the truth: I'm nothing but a convenience_.

"If he gives you any grief just give it back. Don't go spoiling him."

Jason chuckled and Duo couldn't help but smirk. Both men knew Jason would do anything Wufei asked of him.

"I can't promise anything, but I'll try."

"All right, man, I'll call in a few days and make sure things are copasetic."

"Take care, Duo. And…I really am sorry."

The two men shook hands and Jason felt the trembling through the strong handshake and saw the watery amethysts smiling at him. _All of them…so strong_. He watched Duo get into the airport cab and waved goodbye. Once the cab left his sight he turned back to face the apartment building and looked up to the third floor where Wufei was waiting for him.

_This is going to hurt like hell, but I have to do this. He needs me and I'll stay as long as he'll let me. Maybe this will be our new start_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

A sore throbbing pulled Wufei from his sleep and he opened his eyes reluctantly.

_The painkillers must have worn off. Ugh. I don't want to get up_. He closed his eyes again and tried to go back to sleep, believing he could use his mind to override the pain in his shoulder, but his eyes opened as a familiar scent tickled his nose. _Is that_…?

His curiosity stronger than expected, Wufei slowly made his way out of bed, but just before opening the bedroom door he realized his days' old lethargy had left him feeling unclean and heavy so he shuffled off to the bathroom for a shower.

The warm water washed over him and took the dirt and suds away while his mind quickly came online and began to think back on recent events. The past four days were a blur of somber faces and endless empty words. He listened to Relena and Lady Une expound upon Heero's strength of character, his fierceness as a warrior, and his prominent role in bringing peace to the earth and the colonies. But it was the words spoken outside of the formal service that mattered; people who truly knew Heero, speaking of him fondly, and sometimes not so fondly. But all of them agreed on one thing: he was a remarkable person and the world was a lesser place without him.

Wufei closed his eyes against the acute ache that he presumed to be a permanent part of him now and glared at the shampoo bottle. _I can't do this by myself with only one useful arm_. _Damn it, I should have listened to Duo and taken one last night with his help. _He looked at the soap, debated, and then sighed in resignation.

He'd been disappointed when Duo told him he couldn't stay long, but Wufei couldn't fault him for wanting to be home for his wife who was having a difficult first pregnancy. _He was right to choose life over death_.

He was surprised when Duo had argued with him about calling Jason. He of all people should have understood why he wanted Jason and not some stranger taking care of him. But after getting off the phone with Jason, Duo's concern became clear when he asked Wufei to "take it easy on the good doctor". Wufei wanted to yell at Duo for being more concerned about Jason than him, but he didn't have it in him and so he settled for a glare. He was well aware of Duo's opinion of his decision to break up with Jason and he had no want to argue with his best friend.

"_He's the best choice. And if he can't help me then I'll go stay with Trowa and Quatre before I tolerate some stranger."_

He heard the childish and stubborn words in his head as he turned off the shower and reached for his towel. _I can't believe he agreed to help me. My request was selfish and I'm certain I was half drugged out of my mind. But still…how can he be here and take care of me like nothing happened? Is it just his professionalism or could there possibly be another reason? _

Wufei had thought Jason would merely check up on him each day and was shocked when the devoted doctor had shown up with a suitcase and toiletries early this morning. Wufei had managed to get himself to the bedroom door and eavesdropped on the conversation between Jason and Duo as he gripped the doorknob tightly. They spoke of Wufei's condition briefly and then Duo tried to convince Jason not to stay, but was rebuked with a disheartened chuckle and Jason's assurance he would be sleeping on the sofa. Wufei couldn't listen to the exchange any further and inwardly cursed the two men for getting along so well and just went back to bed without a word of goodbye to Duo. _Those two…they act like my feelings don't matter_. _I didn't say he could stay! And yet…I didn't speak up. I could have…should have…but didn't. Why_?

"_Ja…son….he loves you….…"_

At the sound of Heero's soft words Wufei grimaced and sat down on the bed, half dressed in a pair of sweatpants, t-shirt clutched in his fists. _Why did he say that? How could he possibly know how Jason feels? Did they speak while I was sleeping in the hall_?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei emerged from the bedroom to the smell of breakfast and his stomach tightened. _Did he really cook? I'm not sure my stomach can handle that_.

He decided to slowly and quietly make his way to the kitchen to do a little reconnaissance to better formulate a plan of how to avoid eating Jason's cooking. He figured Duo snitched about his lack of eating and prepared himself to face the hypocritical doctor's insistence on eating something healthy. _But how is eating his cooking going to make me feel better? Maybe this is his way of getting some sort of revenge? _ _Although…it does smell good_. As if agreeing Wufei's stomach growled.

Wufei reached the entranceway to the kitchen and leaned against the frame, his eyes wide at seeing Jason honestly cooking, apron and all.

"G-good morning."

Jason started slightly and looked behind him, flashing Wufei a warm smile.

"Good morning. How do you feel?"

"Sore, but otherwise fine."

Jason nodded his head as he continued to whisk something on the stove. _Eggs. Is he scrambling them in the pan? He'll ruin_-!

"Have a seat. Breakfast will be ready in a few."

Not wanting to see the ruination of his pan, Wufei complied and slid into the chair with a sigh. _I haven't put much in my stomach. I'm not sure this is wise_.

Soon enough a plate with steaming eggs and a muffin appeared before him along with a glass of juice.

"Ok, so there are plain scrambled eggs. Sorry, no cheese or veggies until your stomach adjusts. Also, I made some vanilla bran muffins, and there's diluted apple juice."

"You didn't need to-"

"You need to eat." Jason could see the worry in Wufei's eyes and he wanted to chuckle but held himself in check. "Just eat. Doctor's orders."

Wufei looked down at his plate and had to admit it looked and smelled good. _And unless I eat, even I know I'm going to hurt myself needlessly_. He picked up the fork and stabbed a piece of egg and ate it.

"It's…good."

Wufei looked to Jason in wonder and found the doctor looked pleased with the barest hint of a blush to his cheeks. _Oh gods, I forgot. His blush…so sweet and enticing._

"I'm glad you like it. Eat up, there's plenty." Jason began eating his breakfast, his stomach now calm at knowing Wufei liked the food. But after his second forkful of eggs he realized Wufei wasn't eating. "Aren't you hungry?"

"I….yes, but…." Wufei gazed into Jason's concerned eyes. "When did you learn to cook?"

Jason bowed his head and took another bite of eggs. _Here's my chance_. _I should tell him everything: the job, cooking classes….all for him. _But Jason looked back to Wufei and swallowed his words. _ He doesn't need this right now. He just lost Heero and it wouldn't be fair of me to dump this on him. I'll give him some more time to heal first_. Jason took a sip of coffee then cleared his throat before answering.

"I took a few classes. Dorothy and some of the other nurses helped me by being guinea pigs."

"But _why_?"

Jason just shrugged as if the answer was truly no big deal and he prayed that was what Wufei believed.

"A man's got to eat."

Wufei seemed confused by Jason's answer but said no more on the subject and the pair continued their breakfast in silence.

_**To be continued…**_


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

A/N – Did I mention how sorry I am that this took so long?

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 23**

_**Hey, I was thinking of checking up on you later today. How are you feeling?**_

Wufei smiled at the sound of his friend's voice and relaxed further back into his sofa.

"My shoulder is still bothering me but the rest of me feels better. How is Hilde? Anymore problems?"

_**Not really. She's been confined to bed rest which is driving her crazy. But then Amanda, her friend from the center, volunteered to come over and keep her company. **_

"When is she due?"

_**Three more months, man. I'm not sure I'm going to make it.**_

Wufei chuckled.

"You think it's crazy now? Just wait until those kids are born."

_**Heh, yeah. Oh! We've decided that since there are three of them, and three of you, you each get one.**_

"What!"

_**Well, you guys are all important to us and we know you'd do anything for our children so…this seemed the way to go. Oh yeah, Hilde says you get the girl.**_

Wufei sat up straighter, suddenly fearful at the prospect of having a young child, a girl no less, look to him for moral and emotional support.

"Why me? What the hell do I know about girls?"

_**She says it'll soften you up.**_

Wufei stared wide-eyed at the table and Hilde's voice echoed in his head, laughing with just a tinge of malice. _I can just hear her now. But would she really do that to her own child_?

"Your wife is deranged from being pregnant. I suggest you help her see the error of her way."

_**Mmmaybe. Speaking of errors…how's the good doctor? You aren't being mean are you?**_

Wufei stiffened and cast a glance at the front door Jason disappeared behind almost an hour ago, saying he had some errands to run and requested Wufei give Duo his regards. _He knew I wouldn't call unless I had privacy. Damn him, he knows me too well_. Wufei felt his frustration building again. Since that first breakfast Wufei had been trying to see Jason as just a doctor, and then begrudgingly as a friend who was taking care of him. But his smile and laughter and mere presence were messing with Wufei's emotions. He told himself he was just vulnerable because of Heero but deep down he knew better. Yes, he was still reeling at the loss of his dear friend, but Jason's and Heero's roles in his life had been completely different.

"I'm not being mean. And he's fine." Wufei sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, grimacing at the pain in his shoulder. "He's…just Jason."

Duo heard the uncertainty and frustration in Wufei's voice and he smiled. _Sounds like 'Fei's resolve is crumbling_.

_**You don't sound too confident about that. Did something-? **_

"He can cook! He took classes and now he can cook! He has no respect for cookware, but the food was good."

_**Um…ok.**_

Duo had no idea how to respond to the outburst. It wasn't that he was unaccustomed to Wufei getting worked up, but this sounded different. _He almost sounds like he's whining_.

"And he quit the research project completely! How could he do that after all the work he put into it? He loved being part of that project. I could have _killed_ him when he told me that."

Duo saw the pieces fitting together and he smiled. _But 'Fei doesn't see it yet. _

_**You didn't yell at him for it, did you? Or call him a quitter or anything, right?**_

Wufei thought back to yesterday afternoon and recalled the shock of Jason's confession when Wufei inquired about the project. He saw Jason's cheeks get rosy and the charming, confident doctor looked uncertain as he spoke of his reduced job duties. Wufei had been so shocked and confused he didn't know what to do so he retreated to his bedroom, calling Jason a fool before slamming the door shut.

"N-no, not really."

_**Well good because it means he has time to take care of you.**_

Duo waited in silence, hoping Wufei would see what was happening. _He said he loved him but I had no idea he'd been planning an honest comeback. He's making a lot of sacrifices for 'Fei and that idiot better open his eyes and appreciate it._

_**And you know, you should thank him for doing this for you.**_

"Well, of cour-"

_**And not something impersonal. Take him out to dinner or something nice li-**_

"Maxwell."

_**-I'm not saying buy him flowers, although if he likes that sort of thing, go for it. And it wouldn't hurt if you-**_

"Maxwell, shut up."

_**Stop being rude. I'm just trying to be helpful.**_

"No, you're meddling, trying to get us back together."

Duo paused and considered his next move, finally opting for the direct attack.

_**And what's so wrong with that? I think you were good for each other. And I think you still lo-**_

"Shut the hell up! If I want to get back together with Jason it will be my decision, not yours!"

Wufei was now standing, eyes glinting; he wished Duo was in front of him so he could throttle him for his boldness. _I could do it. Even with one hand, right now I could_-

_**Well do you?**_

Wufei blinked a few times at the quiet voice in his ear, wondering if he'd heard Duo properly.

"H-huh? Wha-?"

_**For all this loud bravado, I think you're just scared. You're scared he won't take you back after what you did. Am I right?**_

Wufei's body was still tense and his shoulder was now roaring in pain. His heart pounded in his chest and his mind worked overtime trying to form a response.

"And why should he? I acted selfishly and was cruel. I tossed him away like…like he was nothing."

Duo was having a hard time hearing Wufei's strained whisper of a voice and he put a finger in his other ear to help.

_**You got scared and reacted in self-preservation.**_

"Damn it, he's not a mission!"

Duo's brows furrowed as Wufei's voice broke.

'_**Fei…Jason loves you. Do you think he would be there taking care of you right now if he didn't? I know everything hurts right now, but if you let him, he'll make everything better.**_

Wufei sat down on the sofa with a huff and closed his eyes. _That's what Heero said. Have I truly been blind this whole time? But if he loved me…_

"Why didn't he fight for me? Why did he simply go away?"

Wufei's voice had leveled out but he was still speaking softly and Duo strained to hear him, catching every other word. _Is he asking me something? Or has he simply gone into his own world_?

"Damn it. Damn it. Damn it."

Wufei's voice became stronger as he cursed into the phone and Duo felt there was nothing more he could say so he waited for Wufei to come back around but suddenly Wufei gasped and simply said in an authoritative voice,

"I have to go."

And just like that the line went dead.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason opened the door to see Wufei asleep on the sofa, book lying on his chest. His heart ached at the sight; always a favorite of his upon returning home. He made sure to be quiet and walked over to the sofa, a soft smile on his face as he drank in the lean body, honey-colored skin and dark ebony hair. But Jason's smile faltered as he looked to the table and then back to Wufei. _He wasn't wearing his glasses when he was reading? That's unusual. His glasses would always be cockeyed from falling asleep. Why are they on the table_?

Jason's sharp eyes scrutinized Wufei and finally noted the barest of movement behind his eyelids. _He's not asleep, just pretending. But why? So he wouldn't have to talk to me_?

With a defeated sigh Jason left Wufei to his ruse and walked out of the apartment to walk around the block a few times, giving Wufei his peace and quiet. _I guess I can't put off leaving any longer_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When Jason returned from his walk he found Wufei awake and sitting on the sofa reading, glasses in place. _That's what I thought_.

Wufei looked up and couldn't smile at Jason's return. _Why did he leave again_? _I know he stood next to me for awhile_.

"You're back later than expected."

Jason shrugged and offered a small smile.

"It's a nice day out so I walked. You should get out too, it'll do you some good."

Wufei couldn't tear his eyes from Jason's gaze, trying to see what Heero and Duo told him. _Does he love me? Then why is he hiding it_?

Jason couldn't handle the intense look from Wufei so he huffed and looked around the room one last time with a bittersweet smile as he spoke. _Well, they say it's best just to rip the Band-Aid off so here goes._

"So while I was out I realized that you don't need me anymore. You're well enough to take care of yourself now."

Jason felt the spike of pain in his gut and he cast a quick glance at Wufei as he walked away to hide the wince, using the excuse of retrieving his bag to escape, only to miss the brief flash of panic on Wufei's face.

_He's leaving? But I didn't even say anything to him. If he loves me like they say, then why would he leave if I didn't ask him to?_

Wufei stood up and watched as Jason packed his remaining things in his overnight bag that was on the dining room table.

"I'll leave a few pills for the pain but I think you'll be fine as long as you don't do any heavy lifting for a week. I'll send the release paperwork directly to Une so you won't have to worry about it."

Jason looked up, finally in control again, and projected a casual façade as he reassured himself. _I'm not giving up on us, Wufei. I'll show you how much I love you. I will get you back_.

"I'm going to get out of your hair now. There are leftovers in the fridge for dinner and you should use the lett-" Jason's throat painfully closed up on him. _What am I saying? This is his place, not ours_. He bowed his head and cleared his throat before looking to Wufei again, sheepish grin in place. "Sorry."

"N-no, I appreciate all you've done for me. And I apologize for monopolizing your time."

The doctor hefted his bag and fixed Wufei with a determined gaze.

"Don't say that. I will always be here for you."

Wufei was surprised at Jason's reprimanding tone but couldn't hold the doctor's intense gaze so he just dropped his head and sighed. _Why do I keep shying away from him_?

"Thank you, Jason."

A part of Jason wanted desperately to fall to his knees and beg Wufei to let him stay but his head prevailed and he simply nodded, offering a small smile. _Not yet. He's not ready_.

"You're very welcome. And if you need anything just call."

Wufei could only nod and watch as Jason walked out of his life once again. _But it was his choice to leave. And this time it's me not putting up a fight. Yet…I want him to stay. So why can't I tell him that?_

_**To be continued…**_

**A/N – One of my favorite scenes of this whole story is Wufei watching Jason cook and becoming horrified that Jason is ruining his pan. I'm married to a former chef and I know that look.**


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 24**

Wufei sat at his desk and stared unseeing at his laptop. It was his first full day back at work since the fatal mission with Heero and he found he didn't feel better in the familiar surroundings. He thought for certain that once he was back in uniform and working, the malaise that had prevented him from doing little more than moping and sleeping would evaporate and he would feel almost like himself again. Instead his mind wandered, mostly to thoughts of Heero.

Wufei sighed as he slammed the lid of the laptop down and leaned back in his chair, hands rubbing his face to help him focus on anything other than Heero. _No matter where I go, I'm haunted. At home I can't think of anything other than Jason, and here I have Heero's ghost to keep me company_.

A knock sounded and Wufei looked up to see Lady Une in his doorway. His surprise must have been blatant because his boss quirked a smile and closed the door behind her and sat down opposite Wufei.

"Hello, Chang. Thought I'd stop in and see how things were going."

Wufei blinked a few times and then cleared his throat as he took a stack of papers and shoved them in a drawer for no other reason than for something to do.

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm doing just fine, thank you. You didn't need to come all this way. I could have-"

The sound of Lady Une's rich laughter interrupted Wufei and he just stared at his boss; a woman he knew to be strict, meticulous, professional, and although he wouldn't say she was impersonal, she didn't exactly exude warmth either. He was unaccustomed to seeing this side of her.

"I wouldn't classify riding the elevator down four floors as 'all this way'. Or do you see me as some dictator that rules from on high?"

Wufei scoffed and reopened his laptop.

"I won't even dignify that with an answer."

Wufei began typing and Lady Une was content to let him ignore her presence to observe her employee. She knew Wufei was one of the strongest people in the organization, physically and mentally. But he'd taken several blows to both recently and she could see they had taken their toll. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. He was pale, had lost weight, and oddly enough, she realized his hair was normally much shinier.

"It's all right if you need more time."

Defiant black eyes met her gaze but she held her own, well schooled to standing up to Wufei's stubbornness.

"I told you I would have a mission outline by next Wednesday and that deadline hasn't changed."

The voice was icy and curt but her smile quirked just a bit more.

"I look forward to it. And while you're at it," Lady Une stood in a fluid movement and headed for the door. "Make sure that when you report to me at 1100 hours next Wednesday that you present yourself in a professional manner." She turned around in the open doorway and saw Wufei's cheeks adopt a rosy tint. He opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off. "You have eight days, Chang to get rid of those dark circles, eat three full meals a day, and do something with that hair."

Wufei could only gape at the empty doorway, his boss's words echoing in his head. _Am I caught in some weird dream? She smiled and laughed and…told me to fix my hair_? Self-consciously he brought a hand up and smoothed his pulled-taut hair.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei sat at the table and stared down at his plate. As he searched his kitchen for something to eat for dinner he found a Tupperware container in his freezer he didn't recognize. Further investigation revealed lasagna which Wufei knew he didn't prepare. _He made me meals for later on during my recovery. Was it just another way for him to take care of me, or was it something else_?

Wufei took a bite of the food and closed his eyes. The sauce was sweeter than he normally liked, but the rich cheese balanced it nicely. _I can't believe he can cook. How did this happen_? _And why? He never cared about cooking before._

He looked down at his plate and sighed. Since Jason left him three days ago Wufei felt like he was living in a void. He looked around his apartment and regarded it with a sense of sadness. _It's empty again. His presence is gone_.

Wufei forced himself to finish dinner, Lady Une's voice echoing in his head. After washing the dishes he stood at his sofa and gazed down at the empty piece of furniture, echoes and translucent images of the past reminding him of happy times. _I want that again. I need it. But does he want it as well_?

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei's stomach tightened more and more the closer he got to the hospital. He'd left work early in the hopes of catching Jason during a lull and inviting him out to a quick dinner. Then he could gauge, once and for all, if Heero and Duo were right about Jason's feelings. _If they are, we'll go on a real date and start over_.

The elevator pinged and the doors opened to reveal a very familiar sight: the nurses' station where Ms. Dorothy reigned.

"Chang? It's good to see you up and about again."

Wufei offered a shy, nervous smile to Ms. Dorothy as he stepped out of the elevator and just when he began to wonder how much she knew of what happened recently, her warm smile fell and she suddenly looked very serious, her voice low and soft as she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for your loss. I understand he was a longtime friend."

Wufei felt a dull spike of pain in his chest and he cleared his throat before speaking, his voice still quiet.

"Yes, thank you. I, uh…I'm sorry to disturb you, but is Jason around?"

Dorothy recognized the signs and knew Wufei wasn't ready to talk about his friend yet so she let her hand fall to her side and she took a step back offering an understanding smile.

"He's sleeping right now. Come on, I'll take you to the room."

"Oh, no, I don't want to interrupt his sleep. He works too much and needs-"

"Seeing a patient up and about always boosts a doctor's spirits. And he would never forgive me if I let you leave. Now come on."

She chuckled lightly and after a few turns Wufei found himself staring at a blue door marked _Doctors Only_ and a red plaque declaring "occupied".

"Thank you, Miss. Dorothy."

"You take care of yourself and don't be a stranger, all right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Dorothy smiled and left Wufei to return to her duties. He stared at the door a few moments second-guessing his decision to come to the hospital. _Can we really start over? Duo says we were good for each other. I don't know about that, but…I realize now that I want you back in my life_. The idea of sitting with Jason on the sofa sharing a quiet moment, or falling asleep in his arms gave Wufei a sense of hope and he turned the doorknob and entered the dark room.

He gently closed the door behind him and let his eyes adjust to the small amount of light offered by the nightlight before slowly approaching the sleeping figure on the bed. The sound of steady breathing whispered to him and he stood there, gazing at the man he just couldn't give up.

"Are they right? Do you still love me?"

He reached out and brushed some errant bangs from Jason's eyes, not surprised the man didn't flinch. _He always was a deep sleeper_.

Wufei let his eyes roam down the length of Jason, admiring the body displayed in a well-fitted t-shirt that had slid up slightly. But his voyeurism was interrupted when he noticed something shiny on the slumbering doctor's hand so he leaned in closer to get a better look.

"What's….?"

Wufei deftly maneuvered the few fingers trying to conceal the shiny object, and his eyes fell upon a ring of gold and onyx. Wufei's eyes were wide as saucers at the simple shiny band and his heart painfully pounded in his chest.

_A….ring? Why is he wearing a ring? Was he wearing it when he was with me? No, I would have noticed. So he took it off to save my feelings. Oh gods, I'm such a fool. Why did I think he would give me another chance after I sent him away? _

Jason's fingers twitched and Wufei jumped back as if bitten. _I have to get out of here_.

_**To be concluded…**_


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Chapter 25**

"So what did Chang want? And why didn't you tell me you two were back together?"

Jason just stared at Dorothy, confused.

"What are you talking about?"

Dorothy's smile faltered and she looked down the hallway as if expecting to see Wufei standing there and then back to Jason.

"He was here. I took him to the nap room myself."

Jason felt a nervous flutter ignite inside.

"He never woke me up. I never saw him."

"I wonder why he would do that."

The flutter became more insistent as Dorothy's smile melted away in her confusion.

"Did he say why he was here?"

"No, but he didn't look good. I didn't want to say anything to him but he was a bit thin and looked like he hadn't slept in days."

The flutter was now a nervous spike of pain in his gut as he tried to think of any reason for Wufei's actions.

"Well….when was he here?"

Dorothy checked her watch and frowned.

"Hm. I'd say over three hours ago."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

As Jason drove to Wufei's apartment heedless of the speed limit, his mind raced as fast as his car. He tried calling Wufei after speaking with Dorothy but got his voicemail. For the rest of his shift his mind kept wandering to Wufei and what motivated him to show up at the hospital and yet not speak to him.

_What brought him to the hospital? Is something wrong? Why didn't he call me?_

_Dorothy said she left him in the room. Why didn't he wake me up_?

He parked his car and headed into the building, worried and nervous. _It's a bit late to be stopping by but I have to know what's going on_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei heard the insistent knocking and he frowned as he shuffled to answer the door. He didn't bother to turn on any lights and his robe fell limply around him, making a high-pitched noise of satin against satin as he walked. _This better be good._ Wufei opened the door to see Jason standing there, obviously worried.

"Jason? What're you-?"

"Dorothy said you were at the hospital but you didn't wake me up. Is everything all right? Why didn't you wake me?"

Wufei felt his cheeks warm and he gripped the door tightly as he looked away, his gaze flicking to Jason's hand before settling on his visitor's knees.

"I shouldn't have bothered you at work. Especially when you were trying to rest."

"You're never a bother. Never."

Wufei was beginning to sweat despite the thin clothing he was wearing. _There's passion behind his words, I can feel it. And those eyes_….._But why? And where's the ring I saw him wearing earlier? Did he take it off again to spare my feelings?_

"Please tell me. Why did you come to the hospital?"

"I…" Wufei looked up, unsure if he could hold the gaze of the glittering green eyes, but found he couldn't look away. _How could you be with someone so soon after our breakup? Weren't you miserable like me_? "I just wanted….."

Jason waited for Wufei to continue but the man seemed to have suddenly been struck speechless.

"You just wanted what?"

"Just….i-it doesn't matter. It's late and you should-"

Jason was becoming desperate and he stepped into Wufei and reached out for his hand, entwining their fingers tightly. Wufei looked down at their hands and his skin burned with the contact.

"Tell me, damn it."

"I-I came for you." The admission was barely audible and Jason wasn't sure if he heard right. "It's my fault and this is what I deserve for pushing you away but….h-how can you….? Weren't you miserable? Didn't it hurt even a little?"

"Wufei, Wufei, look at me. What's going on? What are you talking about?"

"How could you come here and help me? Why did you…after I…after we…was it so easy to leave those feelings behind?"

Suddenly Jason reached out and held Wufei's face within his shaking hands_. Is he saying what I think he's saying_? Jason let his forehead rest against Wufei's and he spoke softly and calmly.

"Wufei, when we broke up I was a mess. John suspended me and-"

Wufei grabbed Jason's wrists as his head shot up and he gazed with wide eyes at the man so close.

"You were suspended? What the hell hap—"

"It doesn't matter anymore. I told you before we worked out a reasonable schedule and I took cooking classes and even bought you…." Jason shook his head and took a step back, letting go of Wufei and running his fingers through his hair. "This isn't how I wanted to do this."

"Do what? Jason, what-"

Jason looked to Wufei, a sheepish smile curving his lips and a soft rosy hue coloring his cheeks and at that moment he could have asked for anything and Wufei would have given it to him.

"May I come in please?"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jason sat in the chair leaning forward, elbows on his knees, head bowed. Wufei sat on the sofa and waited for Jason to speak up.

"You had every right to send me away. My schedule was ridiculous and even though I tried to make things up to you, they were empty gestures compared to how much I was hurting you. And I'm sorry, Wufei. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't."

Jason looked up to see Wufei gazing at him expectantly and he was relieved. _He's not mad. Good_. Jason sighed and continued, making sure to hold Wufei's gaze.

"You're not the first person to get fed up with me and my work schedule. And every time I just let them go. But I can't do that this time. This is different. I love you and-"

"You didn't even put up a fight. You just…left."

"I know, I know, but I did it because that's what you wanted and I didn't want to cause you anymore trouble. It hurt like hell to let you go, but I did it for you."

Wufei recalled the quietly whispered words in the dark when Jason thought he was sleeping. _"I think I may have loved you before we even had our first date."_

"Why didn't you say something sooner? If you had come to me, I would have-"

"You deserve better, Wufei. So I made changes."

Wufei began to slowly shake his head back and forth but Jason continued. _I won't let him reject me until I tell him everything_.

"Are you mad? This is your career you're throwing away!"

"Nothing matters if I don't have you!"

Wufei's eyes went wide at the forcefulness in Jason's voice. Not once in their time together had he seen the genial man truly angry.

Jason took a deep breath. He didn't come here to yell. Beg, plead, cajole, yes. But not yell. _I can't even remember the last time I was so upset I yelled_.

"Surgery is what I worked for and what I enjoy doing, not managing a large-scale research project."

Wufei felt his stomach twisting and the nervousness in his chest was making it difficult to breathe. _Is he serious? He's willing to step back in his career for me? But….why_? _When he told me before I was so angry and thought he'd just given up_.

Jason watched as Wufei's face became flush and his forehead became shiny with sweat. _He hasn't blinked yet. Is he going into shock_?

Jason went down on his knees in front of Wufei and grabbed his hands, startling him out of his frozen state. He was relieved to see the black eyes focus once again. _It's now or never_.

"I was trying to figure out how and when to do this. I wanted to give you time to grieve, but…well, at this point there's no turning back so please just listen to what I have to say."

Jason let go of Wufei's hands and reached into his pockets and held out both hands balled into fists. He opened his right hand revealing a key. Then he opened his left hand revealing a ring. It was gold with a band of onyx in the middle. He looked up at the sound of Wufei's gasp but Wufei's eyes were fixed on the object in his hand.

"I brought back the key to your apartment, the last thing linking us together. It's yours if you want it. But I also brought you a ring. And if you…" Jason's throat closed up and he bowed his head as he cleared his throat. "If you want this ring, then I swear I will love you always and never leave your side. These…..these are what I have to offer you, Wufei. It's your decision and I will honor whichever one you choose."

Wufei was shaking and he wasn't even sure he was breathing. Since Jason had started pleading his case for a second chance Wufei's mind and body had been in turmoil. _They were right. He loves me and…he's making sacrifices to be with me; his job and…cooking classes_. _This is what I went to the hospital to find out. Now I know and yet…I can't speak_!

Jason dared to look up and met Wufei's gaze. He saw watery onyx leaking a steady stream down Wufei's cheeks. What he didn't realize was his face was a mirror of Wufei's. He was too focused on Wufei to notice anything about himself. But Wufei saw and his heart constricted. He gazed into the green eyes and recalled an overly friendly doctor upon waking in the hospital. He saw a warm smile and heard his name being whispered tenderly.

Wufei looked down at Jason's hands and reached a shaking hand out and green eyes watched in horror as it came closer and closer to his right hand.

_Please, Wufei, no! No! Don't send me away_!

Wufei's fingertip touched Jason's hand and it involuntarily flinched away. Jason closed his eyes and hung his head.

_I've lost him for good. He truly doesn't want me_.

Suddenly his fingers started to curl, being guided by a warm, shaking force. His eyes popped open and he saw Wufei's hand closing over what was now a fist. Jason was panting and he looked up to Wufei, confused.

"I already have my own key."

"Wu.." Jason took a deep breath and tried again. "Does this mean…..? Will you give me another chance?"

"You never really lost the first one."

Jason lunged forward and grabbed Wufei's face, kissing him desperately as they fell back onto the sofa. Wufei reached up, wrapping his arms around Jason and holding on as if for dear life. _I'll never let him go again_.

"…_**.do yourself a favor and give the man a fair shake…." **_

"_The precious ones are always worth that extra effort."_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Ah ha! Found it!"

Jason emerged from the pile of sofa cushions triumphant, a small gold and black band clasped between thumb and index finger. Jason and Wufei became so enthralled with their reunion, neither gave the ring a thought and it subsequently vanished. When things calmed down and Wufei inquired about the ring, Jason pushed Wufei off the sofa in a panic and began tearing the piece of furniture apart while Wufei stood by, amused.

Now Jason turned around, still on his knees and slipped the ring on Wufei's middle finger.

"I am completely in love with you, Chang Wufei. And I want to spend the rest of my days with you."

Wufei's smile trembled and he looked down at the ring on his finger. It was shiny and simple and beautiful.

"Does it have a match?"

"No."

Wufei looked to Jason, confused.

"The ring is my pledge to you. But I would never be so arrogant as to buy my own ring and make that presumption. If and when you want to give me a ring, I will gratefully accept it."

Wufei leaned over and kissed Jason tenderly, whispering against his lips.

"We'll go first thing tomorrow morning. I won't let you go this time."

_**The End.**_

**A/N – Ok, yeah I know what you're thinking: weak ending. I had another ending but to get to it I had to drag things out even more. And I'm sure you'll all agree I've let things go long enough. But there was one scene I wanted to include from the "drawn out" version so you get an epilogue. Yay!**


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over the characters, just the demons inside my head that made me post this.

**A Part of Me**

**Epilogue**

"Surely as a medical professional you can impart upon this stubborn woman that her decision-making skills have been impaired due to an overwhelming amount of hormones."

Jason didn't bother to respond other than to chuckle. He'd been hearing comments like this for the past two weeks after Duo called to confirm the exact date and time of the baptism. _He's just nervous and doesn't want to admit it. It's so adorable_. Jason would freely admit he was nervous. Not because he was being named a godfather of a baby girl, which seemed to be Wufei's issue, but because being named a godfather along with Wufei was like being baptized into Wufei's family.

Jason got along very well with Duo and Trowa and Quatre but that didn't mean he was a part of their family. They'd been through a lot together and he'd witnessed their intense bond firsthand.

"Are you all right?"

A hand on Jason's leg brought him out of his thoughts and he turned to see concerned black eyes aimed at him.

"Huh?"

"You were unresponsive to my questions. What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Jason placed a reassuring hand on Wufei's and squeezed. "I was just thinking what an honor it is to be named a godfather."

Wufei was about to expound once again on Hilde's inability to make levelheaded decisions when he caught the shimmer in Jason's eyes. _He looks happy but…is he going to cry_?

Before Wufei could inquire further the doors opened and Duo and Hilde walked in, followed by Quatre and Trowa. Each man carried a baby.

"You guys ready?"

Wufei and Jason stood and Duo stopped right in front of Wufei.

"Here you go."

Duo carefully handed Wufei his daughter and everyone, except Hilde, was tactful enough to hold their laughter and teasing in place.

"Don't be scared, she won't break." Hilde giggled with delight as Wufei managed to hold the child properly while only looking slightly uncomfortable. "Aaawww…I can't believe how cute you two look together!"

Jason closed in on Wufei to coo over the tiny baby and place a reassuring hand on Wufei's back.

"I think the _three_ of them make a lovely sight."

Wufei looked to Trowa who offered a knowing smile and Wufei couldn't help but smirk in return. The quiet and observant brunette was the only person to acknowledge the matching rings Wufei and Jason were wearing. He didn't say anything to the group. He merely found Wufei alone and congratulated him. He understood neither Wufei nor Jason would say anything to the group because the day was about Duo, Hilde, and the children. But Trowa did warn him not to wait too long, "_You risk Duo noticing at an inopportune moment and causing a scene_." Wufei had cringed as all manner of embarrassing scenes played in his head thanks to his overactive imagination. _That hyperactive idiot. You can only guess what he'll_- Suddenly a thought occurred to Wufei and he turned his attention to Duo.

"By the way, Maxwell, are you going to tell me this child's name or should I just make one up when the pastor asks me?"

They'd withheld the babies' names for two reasons: first and foremost was due to their inability to agree on the names before they were born. Many an argument raged in the Maxwell household the last three months of Hilde's term as the loving couple debated names. And secondly, once they did agree upon names it was so close to the baptism they just figured people would find out when they showed up.

Duo smiled as he slung an arm around Hilde's shoulder and squeezed. Their daughter's name had been the only easy one. It had been the first and only choice.

"Yui."

Wufei could feel Jason's hand slip around him and come to rest on his hip but all he could do was look at the baby in his arms who seemed to be looking right into his soul with her big blue eyes. He reached up and caressed Yui's cheek with his fingertip. When a small fist wrapped around his finger Wufei's throat constricted painfully, but he still mumbled quietly,

"Hello….Yui."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei lay against Jason, using the doctor's torso as a pillow while he stretched the rest of his body along the sofa and nestled his face at Jason's neck, happy to be home. They'd spent the past five days with Duo, Hilde, the triplets, Quatre, and Trowa and neither could recall ever being so exhausted during a vacation. Despite staying at a nearby hotel they weren't spared the impact of the triplets' demanding schedule. With the exception of one day when Quatre dragged Wufei and Trowa all over the city shopping for supplies for Duo's newly extended family, all were at the mercy of the triplets: feeding, burping, playing, changing, bathing, and laundry. All in triplicate. The only thing Wufei refused to help with was diapers.

Even the plane ride home did not spare Wufei and Jason. At least three families were on their flight with children aged one to fourteen. And with the exception of the teenager and the unsteady toddler, all the children stopped by to say hello and try to insinuate themselves into Jason's and Wufei's seats at some point during the three-hour flight. _I don't know how Jason managed to keep so calm and friendly_. _If I'd had my way I'd have- _Suddenly Wufei's pillow shook as Jason lightly chuckled.

"What has you so amused?"

"I thought you were going to lock that little boy in the bathroom when he grabbed your book and tore the page."

"Hmph. Shows what you know. I envisioned throwing him out the emergency exit."

This garnered louder laughter from Jason and Wufei grumbled, waiting for Jason to stop moving so he could settle back into his comfortable pillow. Their plane landed an hour late thanks to "technical delays" before takeoff which Wufei translated as "our pilot is late." When they got home both collapsed on the sofa wanting a quiet moment in the early evening hours. The suitcases were still next to the front door closet.

Wufei reached out and brought Jason's hand, which had been resting on Wufei's chest, up for inspection. He smiled at the sight of Jason's elegant finger encircled by gold and onyx. _What a lovely sight_. Before Wufei could say anything about the rings, Duo caught him in the laundry room.

"Don't think I didn't notice the rings." Wufei merely smirked as he measured the specialty laundry detergent for the triplets' soiled clothes. And then a strong arm draped across his shoulders and squeezed tight. "I'm happy for you, 'Fei. He's a good man."

Duo leaned his head against Wufei's for a brief moment and then let go to head back to the kitchen. Wufei thought for certain Duo would be smug about their reunion, but so far he hadn't said much. _I thought for sure he would at least say_-

"Told you so!"

Wufei sighed and hung his head at the yelled words from down the hall. _Damn him_! But Wufei could only smile as he hit the power button on the washing machine. _I wouldn't have you any other way, Maxwell_.

Wufei smiled at the recalled memory and replaced Jason's hand, the warm spot on his chest growing cool, and closed his eyes, sighing in contentment. _We can finally live our life together as we were meant to: meals together, vacations, and quiet weekends. We can be_-

Suddenly Wufei's chest hurt as Heero's image invaded his mind's eye, cerulean eyes sparkling with emotion. And then he heard the words, like a ghostly echo, _"We could….be normal…..together…._" Wufei lost himself to memories, both good and bad, and his contentment fled in the face of bitter sadness. His throat constricted and he clamped his eyes shut against the tears threatening. Jason felt tiny tremors up and down Wufei's body unaware it was a result of the man trying to hold in his emotions.

"Hey, are you cold?"

When Wufei didn't answer Jason frowned and gently maneuvered him forward and around so they could face each other. Wufei tried to hide his face in his loose hair but Jason just brushed it aside and held Wufei's face in his hands, his concern growing by the second as he took in the wet tracks on Wufei's cheeks.

"Hey, hey, what's going on? What's wrong?"

Wufei shook his head a few times, releasing Jason's hold on his face, and bowed his head. He'd never told Duo the extent of his one-night stand with Heero so many years ago. He told him just enough to keep Duo from nagging. _But I won't hide from Jason. He asked before and I did the same thing to him as I did to Maxwell. After all I put him through he deserves the truth_.

"After the war…..Heero and I made plans. We were going to….."

Wufei took a deep breath and Jason noted the small shudder and reached out, pulling Wufei to him, gently enfolding him within his arms as if to protect him from the emotions within.

"After everything we'd gone through, he just wanted to be normal. So we made plans to be normal together."

It was then the dam broke and Wufei made a strangled noise like a wounded animal. _I don't think he's cried since the night Heero died_. Jason squeezed tighter and kissed Wufei's forehead. _I knew they were involved, but if they were making those kinds of plans….what terrible thing happened to cause such a rift between them_? As if reading Jason's thoughts Wufei spoke up again, his voice still quiet, but steady.

"He ran away. He didn't say goodbye, leave a note, or anything. I woke up and he was gone."

They sat there in the quiet of the living room for a few moments and then Wufei pushed away and sat up, swiping at his eyes before facing Jason. Wufei seemed to regard Jason as if making a crucial decision, and then Wufei's lips slowly curved into a soft smile. _We were both cowards, Heero. You got scared and ran away from me and I chose the cowardly way and left Jason when it got too tough. But all that is in the past now. I do believe you will always be a part of me, but my future, my life, is with Jason_.

"Will you be normal with me?"

"Nothing would make me happier."

Wufei bowed his head again and nodded a few times as he played with the gold and onyx band on his middle finger, turning it back and forth. _Yes, I knew that. But I needed to hear it. Just one more time_. Wufei raised his head and met Jason's gaze. And the longer the gaze went on, the better Wufei felt and the more his smile shone through. Finally he lightly chuckled and stood up.

"So what would you like for dinner? I'm starving."

Jason opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. _Dinner? He goes from that to dinner_?

"If you don't speak up you'll get what I give you."

Jason closed his mouth and smiled as he looked up at his boyfriend who was waiting expectantly, if impatiently, for his answer. _I get it now_…..

""Steak if we have it."

Wufei nodded and headed for the kitchen leaving Jason on the sofa. The doctor collapsed backward and stretched out on the sofa and sighed as he rubbed his face. _He's such a strong and passionate man and for some reason he loves me. I don't know why Heero ran away from him but I will never leave his side again. He'll have to beat me away with a stick_. _Which, considering his temperament…._

Jason's lips curved in a sleepy smile as he relaxed and concentrated on his surroundings: the smell in the air, the sounds of Wufei cooking, and the feel of the sofa under him. He pictured the apartment, their apartment, in his mind's eye, down to the last detail. _Someone to love and come home to… Being normal sounds wonderful, Wufei. _

**Thank you all for hanging in there to read the whole story!**


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